#2
The first time I saw you it felt like my heart had stopped ?
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#4
I feel like I've had a few when I had real bad sleep paralysis. It was worse than just being awake and not being able to move. In my experience, I did that, but I also had the feeling of incredibly intense pressure in my head. To the point that it felt like a ballon ready to pop. In addition, I'd also hear noise that I could only describe as millions of tiny little marbles rolling around. Eventually the feeling dies down and when I snap out of it, I wake up with a bad headache.

I don't know how else to describe it and through my extensive search on the internet, I've only ever read of one other person who claimed the same (so nothing, really).

But (although not visual in this case) hallucinations are also part of sleep paralysis, so I can't say it for a fact.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#5
Got caught in traffic on a train track with a train coming once. Got hung up on a zip-line 50' above some jagged rocks sticking out of the water at a quarry. Walked across an embankment crawling with alligators. Survived whooping cough. Drank a whole bottle of old crow. Just off the top of my head. Pulled off a black widow spider from my friend's back without him knowing it. Attacked by pitbulls on an empty street at night....
#6
I drove across some train tracks late at night and then about 3 seconds after I crossed I saw a train speed across the tracks in my rear view mirror. The fucking lights at the crossing didn't turn on and I had music up loud and it was pitch black outside so I had no idea it was even there.


Also when I was one year old I was in the backseat of a car that caught on fire. The whole car eventually burst into flames but my mommy got me out before that happened
Last edited by MeGaDeth2314 at Sep 23, 2016,
#7
I took a One-A-Day vitamin even though I'd already had one that day.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#8
When the person sitting next to you in class talks to you and you smell the smell of death
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#9
Several but my favorite one was being driven 200 km/h to an airport to avoid sniper fire but being stopped by an airforce SF checkpoint and being searched at gunpoint cuz I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low. This one's my favorite cuz on the plane out I talked to a bunch of people who agreed that Assad is an ass and also really liked To Kill A Mockingbird.
#10
Got in to a really dangerous crash with a friend who was driving 160 km/h in a 500 kilo Opel Corsa, lost control of the back of the car, crashed about 5 times in to the guardrail (on the motorway), through some miracle didn't turn over. It's beyond me. Then we went a bit forward against traffic to get out of the smoke to maneuver, crossed a fucking lorry that was coming in the opposite direction, thankfully on another lane. Then the car miraculously took us another 25 km, with no oil or water, without exploding, and just died in a place that was exremely convenient to hide near a bush until the day afterwards when we went to get it picked up and hauled away, and written off. That shit would've cost buckets if it was on the motorway, and cops would've been involved, which would've raised awkward questions, etc. Very faithful car, I miss it.

But yeah, weird. Thinking back on it, there's some extreme luck in the fact that the car didn't tip over like five times at that fucking speed, sideways. I think that the only thing that saved was the instinct that drove my friend to not let go of the accelerator, and not brake.


Weirdly, I'd spent the past month in manic depression, quasi suicidal and that kind of completely invigorated me.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#11
one time i walked into walmart from the exit side automatic door, instead of the enter side
man that was scary i almost go hit by a wild shopping cart
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#12
I was attacked by doge at a young age and had to go to ER to get stitches all over my throat

I don't think that was near death even, but I guess it's the closest I've been.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#13
one time i put the milk in the bowl before the cereal

that was intense
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#14
Today I was involved in a crash whilst cycling, got beat up a bit (by a bus).
Wasn't life threatening but it was pretty terrifying.
Kids, make sure your brakes work.
#16
once i was nearly hit by a car

once i was nearly asphyxiated

when I had some minor cosmetic surgery as a youngin I went under anesthetic and for a moment it was like being in nothingness. not near death but it was fucked up
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
Last edited by Banjocal at Sep 23, 2016,
#17
I work in trauma so I'm near death every day
i see your girl
G A Y
she leavin wit me

F O R
I'm playing wit her booty
in the back seat
M A D D E N
#18
the one that sticks out is waking up on the highway, a couple of seconds before slamming the end of a guardrail on the bridge I was about to go over. my girlfriend was in the truck with me already asleep. she woke up as I swerved and I gave her the deer ran in front on us story.

that was 20 years ago and it still gets me when I think about it.
how many movements do you have going on, psychotic ?
#19
Waited in line for 5 hours in usa/canadian customs once. It felt like death, only boringer.
#20
besides the intentional one, when i was living in london i was waiting for the tube and i was distracted and thought the train was coming from one end, when it was really coming from the other. i was wearing bose noise cancelling headphones at the time so i couldn't hear anything. so i'm standing right at the edge of the platform, looking to my right. i turn my head to the left and instantly the train is right there. probably was two inches from me.
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#21
Witnessed plenty of others. I've become sort of an expert on third party near death experiences.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#22
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
I drove across some train tracks late at night and then about 3 seconds after I crossed I saw a train speed across the tracks in my rear view mirror. The fucking lights at the crossing didn't turn on and I had music up loud and it was pitch black outside so I had no idea it was even there.


Also when I was one year old I was in the backseat of a car that caught on fire. The whole car eventually burst into flames but my mommy got me out before that happened


NeArMeGaDeth2314

Quote by Cardbored
When the person sitting next to you in class talks to you and you smell the smell of death
I don't even know what this means
Quote by Baby Joel
besides the intentional one, when i was living in london i was waiting for the tube and i was distracted and thought the train was coming from one end, when it was really coming from the other. i was wearing bose noise cancelling headphones at the time so i couldn't hear anything. so i'm standing right at the edge of the platform, looking to my right. i turn my head to the left and instantly the train is right there. probably was two inches from me.


I've definitely had a goof like this before. Made me feel real dumb.

Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Several but my favorite one was being driven 200 km/h to an airport to avoid sniper fire but being stopped by an airforce SF checkpoint and being searched at gunpoint cuz I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low. This one's my favorite cuz on the plane out I talked to a bunch of people who agreed that Assad is an ass and also really liked To Kill A Mockingbird.


that's fucked up

Quote by mattedbird
the one that sticks out is waking up on the highway, a couple of seconds before slamming the end of a guardrail on the bridge I was about to go over. my girlfriend was in the truck with me already asleep. she woke up as I swerved and I gave her the deer ran in front on us story.

that was 20 years ago and it still gets me when I think about it.


hopefully she doesn't know you use ug

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
Last edited by M00NAGEDAYDREAM at Sep 24, 2016,
#24
I once had a near life experience which was p horrifying. I rectified the situation by listening to Transylvanian Hunger.
"If you want beef, then bring the ruckus." - Marilyn Monroe
#25
When I was a baby a coconut feel off a tree and almost hit me on the head. And when I was about 4 I jumped in a swimming pool and also drowned.
🍗🎹🎶🎼🎧🎤🎮👾🎸🎨🎷⚽️🎱🏁🎺🎻🍮🍰🍪📱👻🐔🐣🐥🐤🐽🐷💀👽💩💸🚽👻
#26
Quote by Guitar137335
When I was a baby a coconut feel off a tree and almost hit me on the head. And when I was about 4 I jumped in a swimming pool and also drowned.
Actually I've done this, I was probably younger. We were at my grandmothers house with swimming pool etc (she doesn't have it anymore), my parents were sunbathing, and I either jumped or fell in to the pool.

My Dad noticed in time, jumped in, pulled me out, let me calm down for about a minute, and then just jumped back in with me, to stop me from creating a sort of trama which would make me phobic of water

Don't know if it's true that you should do that, but if it is, thank god. I love swimming
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#27
There are some incredible stories in here.


The nearest I've come to death is nearly drowning in a pool when I was 9 or 10. I was pulled out and coughed up loads of water but I remember being in the pool just gasping in water and having no idea how to get to the edge. It was pretty scary.


Me and a friend would have been on one of the trains that got blown up in the 7/7 London bombings but she overslept so we ended up meeting later and just sat at my house watching the news in disbelief.


I also had an ex boyfriend try to choke me to death once in our kitchen. I was grabbing with my hand trying to pick up a knife or some scissors or something and when he saw me nearly reach a knife he let go of me and stormed out of the house. I was probably closer to death at that point than I realise.
Last edited by Mistress_Ibanez at Sep 24, 2016,
#28
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez


I also had an ex boyfriend try to choke me to death once in our kitchen. I was grabbing with my hand trying to pick up a knife or some scissors or something and when he saw me nearly reach a knife he let go of me and stormed out of the house. I was probably closer to death at that point than I realise.

Holy shit.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#29
Quote by Krieger91
Holy shit.


It's all good I have a restraining order against him now ?
#30
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
It's all good I have a restraining order against him now ?
At least that

Off topic, but I saw this in the notification bar thing UG has, and it says you quoted me two hours ago.

Where do you live?

EDIT: Nothing weird meant by it, I was just wondering if the 2 hours thing had something to do woth the timezones, or if it's UG's notification system which is screwed up
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
Last edited by Krieger91 at Sep 24, 2016,
#31
Quote by Krieger91
At least that

Off topic, but I saw this in the notification bar thing UG has, and it says you quoted me two hours ago.

Where do you live?

EDIT: Nothing weird meant by it, I was just wondering if the 2 hours thing had something to do woth the timezones, or if it's UG's notification system which is screwed up


I live in the UK. But the servers for this website are in Russia. So who knows.

Or did I also quote you 2hrs ago?
#33
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
I live in the UK. But the servers for this website are in Russia. So who knows.

Or did I also quote you 2hrs ago?
No jo, the last post, about the restraining order. You must have quoted me about 5 miutes after my post, and the notification thing said you quoted me 2 hours ago. I was wondering if you lived in a place where you're two hours behind, which would've kind of explained it. But you're just an hour behind, so no. Who knows.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#34
A few failed suicide attempts is about it I guess.

And here was the time when a psychotic roommate of mine stuck a knife up to my gut several years ago.
Last edited by CodeMonk at Sep 24, 2016,
#35
almost got destroyed crossing the street as a child by a bunch of biker nerds running the red
almost got destroyed crossing the street as a teenager by a bunch of street racing nerds running the red
almost got destroyed crossing the street as an adult by a nerd with truck nuts on the back of his shitty pickup running the red




#36
Have another one, not exactly near death, but I might as well share it.

A friend and I, when we were 11, slept at a family house up way in the mountains, and we had to walk down. We devided to cut through the forest, and at one stage started running.

He was a bit ahead of me, an at one stage we came acrss one of those sheer rock drops you have in the middle of these mountains. Non of us saw it until the last moment, so he basically had to full stop suddenly and kind of trying to balance himself to stop himself forwards, and I noticed just in time and managed to full stop next to him and pull him back.

Remember that scene from The Fellowship Of The Ring where they're running through Moria, Boromir nearly falls over the edge, and Legolas pulls him back? Yeah, similar to that.

We still talk about that every now and then. The drop just came out of the blue...it would have been a long and very painful, if not fatal, fall.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#37
Only one I can think of was when my brother and I were bored at a dinner party my parents dragged us to. The adults were all sat on the balcony drinking, so my brother and I went downstairs where you took turns throwing a ball against a wall and if the other person caught it on the full or you dropped it, you had to sprint to said wall before the other person threw the ball at you. Anyway, I cocked up, started sprinting, my brother went to throw so I jumped to dodge the ball. Hit my head smack on the balcony beam, collapsed in a heap on the floor. 5 hours of A & E, three stitches. The near-death bit was that on the other side of the beam to where I hit was a nail that was sticking out a good three or four inches which could have really fucked me up.

No where near as dramatic as some of the stories here though, fucking hell. I'm a very lucky guy.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.