Poll: choose
Poll Options
View poll results: choose
cats
21 31%
dogs
18 27%
both
24 36%
neither
4 6%
Voters: 67.
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#1
i have always hated dogs. that is to say that i was afraid of them when i was little -- whether the big growly strange one that made me afraid of going to the mailbox, or my grandparents' neighbors' little black poodle (mephistopholes!). these are not the earliest impressions. maybe my father taught me to hate them (one thing he got right).

in any case, dogs are big, loud, slobbery, self-imposing boors, and if any of these descriptors don't apply to certain varieties, it's because they're so inbred. loyal and obedient, are they? like a good serf, like a good, useful wife? hardly true friendship, hardly true love. sure, sometimes you simply have to release the hounds. but when it's elevation above the crass necessities of the world you seek? when it's beauty you're after? not something to serve you, but something to admire?

cats are compact, cool and aloof, self-sufficient, graceful, petty, pretty and predictable. amis de la science et de la volupté, they're not carried about by a frivolous bourgeois restlessness (even their impatience is patient) but appreciate higher pleasures: curling up somewhere quiet, killing lesser creatures, rough sex.

as far as i'm concerned, the above is not up for debate.

when i was younger, it seemed that we were all posed with the question and made a choice -- cats or dogs: like one, dislike the other. a gendered choice: dogs are masculine, cats feminine. i sighed but regretted nothing as i turned down yet another occasion to be a boyish boy like the boys.

but now i feel that we are enjoined to love all animals. girls like dogs, boys like cats (roles dissolving, pc gone mad!). if you privilege one and scorn the other, you're looked upon as a monster.

is it proletarization? feminism? animal rights? i feel that the space to hate dogs has been closed off. am i right? who else hates dogs? where can we go?
Last edited by █▐▌█▐▌ at Oct 3, 2016,
#2
axe axe axe

slash slash slash


Ha remember that from 2008.
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#3
I don't know what you mean. The debate seems to be a friendly expression of preferences, I see no correlation between pet and gender and people who prefer dogs just aren't powerful enough to get a human slave that unabashedly loves them
#4
Dont care enough to read that essay in OP, but dogs > cats. Easy.
#5
I didn't care to read any of that but I just crossed paths with this dog

eats better than me
is better than me

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#6
Neither. I cannot be bothered with either, especially cats but I love dogs, just not worth the vet costs & all that other bullshit. I do what I want when I want, I am a cold hearted bastard & i wouldn't even take in a stray.
Few Fenders, few Gibsons, few amps & other stuff.
#7
Have lived with/owned both.

Prefer cats in concept.

Prefer dogs in reality.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#8
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#9
Quote by ErikLensherr


Ok. Maybe I would adopt that little puppy!!!!!! I HAVE A HEART AFTER ALL!!!
Few Fenders, few Gibsons, few amps & other stuff.
#10
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#11
They're both cute animals. I tend to think of dogs as companions and cats as furniture, though
She was born in 1898 in a barn. She died on the thirty-seventh floor of a skyscraper. She's an astronaut.



Quote by matt bickerton
Doesn't at all surprise me why so many people here tend to think you're a douche
#13
If cats were a little more affectionate, than them. If dogs were a little more... prone to pouncing? hunted insects? lithe?... then them.

catdog

Let's talk about rough cat sex more
Quote by bass.desires
staring at your forum avatar relaxes me.
#15
Quote by M00NAGEDAYDREAM


I bet if these 2 guys met they'd be


rosebuds
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#16
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
If cats were a little more affectionate, than them. If dogs were a little more... prone to pouncing? hunted insects? lithe?... then them.

catdog

Let's talk about rough cat sex more

Terrifying. I've had nightmares about being a female cat forced to take the sharp, serrated vaginal cutting tool that is a cat penis.

Cat mating is evidence enough for my atheism.
She was born in 1898 in a barn. She died on the thirty-seventh floor of a skyscraper. She's an astronaut.



Quote by matt bickerton
Doesn't at all surprise me why so many people here tend to think you're a douche
#18
not even comparable really

as a cat owner, my cat is pretty darn lazy and boring, she doesn't use her scratch post, she doesn't play with her toys and never has, she has a very strict diet and only eats wet canned food...
she's 8 years old now (which is pretty old for a cat), but even when she was little kitten she had a very mature personality
she just doesn't "play" and "cuddle" as much as other cats i've come across. She likes being pet, but only for a short amount of time before she gets up and goes to a corner to chill by herself
she's an indoor/outdoor cat, so she really is an introvert
and she HATES other cats!


Dogs also display a wide array of personalities (and sizes!) but man, they are usually really fun to be around, and they at least act like they want you to be around them...
most dogs, if raised right, will always be down to play, go for a run, take a bath, etc
they're real companions and protectors
many dog breeds are just levels smarter than cats physically and mentally and even emotionally

though i don't have the energy or time to be a proper dog owner, i would absolutly love one, like a german shepard or golden retreiver or even those pesky huskies!
#19
Dogs are very sweet animals, generally.

Cats are okay.
#20
Quote by ali.guitarkid7

Cat mating is evidence enough for my atheism.


There is no god dog.
Quote by bass.desires
staring at your forum avatar relaxes me.
#21
The thing is (and I think this is something a lot of cat haters don't understand), cats and dogs socialize differently. Where dogs are more simple minded and act based on emotion, cats are more reserved and act more on logic. It doesn't mean one companionship is better or worst than the other, just that interactions aren't always the same. But those interactions aren't what make the pet a pet. It's the bond you form between that unspoken reliance/dependence.


That being said, doggos are dumb as all hell.
Cats >>>>>>>>>> dogs hmu.
Voted UG User of the Year 2015 & 2016
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Oct 3, 2016,
#22
Well... only maybe 75% of cats should be liquidated versus 90% of dogs.
*your ad here*
#24
I own a dog for the first time and I can't stand it. It's not mine, it's my SO's but the amount of attention, exercise, and food is ridiculous. He's destructive and constantly looking for food even though he's slightly over fed. Plus dogs smell. All of them.

And I don't understand how dog owners put up with letting their dog sleep with them, my old roommates bed looked like another dog. Hair was everywhere, it was disgusting. And he had a very nice and clean house otherwise.

Their constant need for love and attention is creepy too.

I'd own a french bulldog though. I could get over my hate for dogs if I had one.
#25
Quote by theogonia777
Well... only maybe 75% of cats should be liquidated versus 90% of dogs.
Nah, need to kill as many cats as possible. They're almost as good at driving other species to extinction as humans.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#26
Surprised the Aussies and Kiwis aren't here advocating for sheep as pets....
#27
Nah, Sheep are delicious though
Yes I am falling
How much longer
Till I hit the ground?
#30
Quote by TobusRex
Surprised the Aussies and Kiwis aren't here advocating for sheep as pets....

Because they're fuckheads and people that like sheep as pets are also fuckheads

Also OP dogs also like to curl up somewhere quiet, kill lesser creatures and have rough sex
Rough backwards sex

I love having both, but dogs are almost always better companions than cats
#31
i see the appeal with dogs, but they're not for me, too hyper and clingy for my liking. Cats are the better animal

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Nah, need to kill as many cats as possible. They're almost as good at driving other species to extinction as humans.


90~% of animals that ever existed are now extinct, its natural selection at work

Having said that I do agree that cats killing off bird populations are a problem
#32
Quote by Bladez22
i see the appeal with dogs, but they're not for me, too hyper and clingy for my liking. Cats are the better animal


90~% of animals that ever existed are now extinct, its natural selection at work

Having said that I do agree that cats killing off bird populations are a problem
Natural selection is now our bitch.

We choose, not cats.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#33
Quote by TobusRex
Surprised the Aussies and Kiwis aren't here advocating for sheep as pets....


That's because, along with the Welsh and Scottish, prefer sheep less as pets and more as a place to put their penis.
*your ad here*
#34
theogonia777Teuchters, not all Scots.

Damned Yankee ingnorance.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#35
Dawgs!
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

#36
Quote by Joshua Garcia
The thing is (and I think this is something a lot of cat haters don't understand), cats and dogs socialize differently. Where dogs are more simple minded and act based on emotion, cats are more reserved and act more on logic.


While dogs were out partying, cats were studying the blade.
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#37
Quote by ErikLensherr
While dogs were out partying, cats were studying the blade.


M'eow
#38
Quote by Ignite

Their constant need for love and attention is creepy too.
But it's a fluffy animal!




^oh my goodness look what you've done.
#39
Cats suck. If I want to hang out with a douchebag that think's they're cool AF I'll just go to the Basement Tavern. I don't need to pay for it and give it a roof.
Quote by Axelfox
my mom and i went to a furry con and on the second day she said she didn't come and pay money to go see dumb shit.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#40
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Cats suck. If I want to hang out with a douchebag that think's they're cool AF I'll just go to the Basement Tavern. I don't need to pay for it and give it a roof.


Right!

No animal deserves the right to piss and shit in the house take it outdoors (well except fish).
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

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