#1
Self explanatory. Keep it short and sweet, one at a time. Don't know how raunchy we're allowed to get here, I think they are pretty lax as long as they don't see any T@A (or D, for that matter).


Those who write on shithouse walls,
Wrap their shit in little balls,
Those who read these words of wite,
EAT those little balls of shit.
#2
To fart or not to fart, that’s the fucking question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the bowels to suffer
The twists and turns of outrageous rumblings
Or to take action against a bellyful of gas,
And by farting pump one out? To strain, to bloat
No more; and by a mighty outburst we’ll end
The gut’s ache, and the thousand natural stenches
That the anus is heir to, 'tis a resolution
Right devoutly to be wish'd. To fart, to fart!
Quote by Pizzafan
k.lainad Im going to use twine, tie a broom handle to a pizza, put guitar string on it, and make love to your mom with a pizztar

Quote by Gatecrasher53
I used to google image search stuff like 'sexy guitar', and 'hot guitar' and then scroll through several results pages to find maybe two images of shitty magazine covers with nude women posing with les pauls covering their genitals because I didnt know about clearing your search history and I thought I could explain away these searches if they were ever discovered as me just looking at cool guitars.


soundcloud
youtube
#3
this is a
shit
poem about
shit
if you
change lines randomly
then everything is a
poem
a real shit
poem
like shit that goes
in a toilet
I have nothing important to say
#4
We consume and we eat and we feed
endless is our relentless greed
we eat all the food
and drink all the booze
and when we shit our arses bleed
#5
call it boredom
or call it lack of wit
that I'm smearing the walls
with my own shit
'my mother raised me right'
excrement-ly I write
to the dismay
of gas station attendants that night

I have no remorse
for my lack of recourse
aren't we all big picture just
beating a dead horse
using a week's work
to buy ourselves a bid
into something of worth
I'd rather smear shit
#6
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who was bored and decided to suck it,
so he removed 'bout two ribs,
bent his head to his jibs,
got stuck and resigned with "ahh fuck it"

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1671439
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#7
When I die
bury me,
Hang my balls
in a cherry tree,
If you like
take a bite
But don't blame me
If it don't taste right
#8
call me ex gf for a good time
does this poem have to rhyme?

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#10
life is pain misery and suffering
and sometimes you feel like a video buffering
I'd say you're better off dead
but it's all in your head
life's great - don't you hate
bitches be all over me; shuddering
#12
I'd arrest you if I had handcuffs
I'd arrest you if I had the time
I'd throw you down in the backseat
As if you committed a terrible crime

We break into towns worth of houses
And rob whole families blind
I'd do it to you like you do it to me
If I knew you would get away fine

I'd drown all these crying babies
If I knew that their mothers wouldn't cry
I'd hold them down and I'd squeeze real soft
And let a piece of myself die

It's hard to be the better man
When you forget you're trying
It's hard to be the better man

I'd arrest you if I had handcuffs
I'd arrest you if I had the time
I'd wait for you outside the courtroom (and taunt you)
As all of your appeals were declined

I'd drive my car off of the bridge
If I knew that you weren't inside
Put the pedal to the floor, who could ask for more
A fantastic way to kill some time

If you could lay on your back and be beaten
You could put up your fists and fight
(You could try anyway)

It's hard to be the better man
When you forget you're trying
It's hard to be the better man
When you're still lying

It's hard to be the better man
When you forget you're trying
It's hard to be the better man
When you're still lying
You're still lying
..::fat
lard::..
#15
Some people think it's funny,
But it's really dark and runny,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
It needn't cause you pain,
You just sit and let it drain,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
It's painful as it issues
From those hot and burning tissues,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
It's stinky, brown and smelly
As it chugs out of your belly,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
It's made of corn and beans
And it comes in shades of greens,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
2001 Represent
#16
Our best thoughts
come
when our bowels
are going.

Sitting on the can,
my mind mulling,
Eureka! I cry,
The thoughts keep coming

If this is true.
(and it surely is)
Then where
do our thoughts
go to rest?
Where do they live
when they won't come at my calling?

In our hearts?
In our minds?

No my friends,

it's our behinds.
Last edited by Duaneclapdrix at Oct 8, 2016,
#17
Here I sit
All broken hearted
Paid 10p
And only farted
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#19
For a good time, call 555-867-5309
[IMG]http://www.i.imgur.com/vzC5EKt.png[/IMG]

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#24
nice nice nice keep it going

'10 iq' damn ug is savage on adbots
#25
I wonder why they've all gravitated to this thread?
Today I introduced myself
to my own feelings
#26
I say, to write on walls is fun
With ink or crayons though
I must advise and even shun
A fecal smearing show

Schoolboy pranks and youngster whimsy
Are always well and good
Chunks of shit are just too flimsy
So just use lead and wood
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

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#27
Quote by Acϵ♠
I say, to write on walls is fun
With ink or crayons though
I must advise and even shun
A fecal smearing show

Schoolboy pranks and youngster whimsy
Are always well and good
Chunks of shit are just too flimsy
So just use lead and wood

if I were running the law system, you'd be in jail
#28
Quote by whywefight
if I were running the law system, you'd be in jail


My time in jail was poorly spent
I don't mean sodomy
Whywefight must've surely meant
He hates gastronomy

He sentenced me to seven years
Inside a tiny cell
Poops and farts daily filled my ears
A shitty ringing bell

A bell once rung, but tenfold stinks
He made his ruling clear
"For every shit, you'll hit the clink
'Tis justice for my tears."
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

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