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#1
Greenings, all.



As you all know, it is election season here in the Pit. I have recently jokingly posted in the mod election thread and was informed via PM that I needed to start my own thread outlining the promises I will probably not uphold. Yes, it began as a frivolous campaign, but I've thought about it, and it doesn't sound like a bad idea after all. Plus now I have a taste for power as well as that snazzy shade of green. As such, feel free to ask me any questions and I will try to respond accordingly.

Having experience as a UGer from another time and as a moderator elsewhere, I feel I could fill this position easily and adequately. If I ever need to procrastinate for five minutes I almost always come to the pit first and click on the threads with new posts, so needless to say I'm here relatively often.

Among my goals as prospective mod are the following:


  • To repeal the law of gravity;
  • To make masturbation the national sport;
  • To provide higher education by building taller schools;
  • To change the official currency to sincere words and acts of kindness;
  • To pay off the national debt and make up for the Pit's moral bankruptcy;
  • To make taking a suppository less of a pain in the ass;
  • To make mirror threads more reflective, that is, more philosophical;
  • To support God's right to exist;
  • To support fairies' right to exist, declaring fairy denial a form of genocide;
  • To support a woman's right to post-natal abortion;
  • To support a man's right to pregnancy;
  • To invest taxpayer money into a monorail that travels faster than light, allowing its passengers to travel on it and come back the day before;
  • To abolish the environment altogether as costs to preserve it are too high; plus there's the added bonus of climate change no longer being an issue;
  • To protect the world from devastation;
  • To unite all peoples within our nation;
  • To denounce the evils of truth and love;
  • To extend our reach to the stars above;
  • Free gyros for everyone*.


And because it's going to get me more votes from you perverts:



So what are you waiting for? What truly matters is what's important. A vote for Wolfy is a vote for me!


* Limit one gyro per individual. Your choice of hummus, tsaziki, falafel and/or yogurt as filling.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

No but seriously I'm good, I can quickly respond to reports and get rid of spam when I see it, plus I'm a nice guy so I'll get along well with the people it's in my power to push around. You know this is true because I am Canadian.
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Last edited by Wolfinator-x at Aug 11, 2017,
#2
TSAZIKI NIGGA guess whos voting wolfy

oh hey cool gifs too
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#3
Moar pls.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#5
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Moar pls.
Very well.



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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
Last edited by Wolfinator-x at Oct 9, 2016,
#6
I'm stroking the vote button with a firm fist.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#7
Sir, you are a gentleman.
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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#8
Quote by Wolfinator-x
Very well.





source pls

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#9
Quote by EndTheRapture51
source pls
Teach a man the source and he'll be hard for a day. Teach a man about Google reverse image search and he'll be hard for the rest of his life.
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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#10
bitch please if I want gentlemen's special interest literature I'll go to a dedicated gentlemen's special interest literature website
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#11
Quote by Banjocal
bitch please if I want gentlemen's special interest literature I'll go to a dedicated gentlemen's special interest literature website


This 'wolfinator' offers that which he does not own!

I shall peruse virtual strumpets elsewhere.

I say good day, sir!
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#13
You're welcome.

(I added spoiler tags for good measure... I guess the analogy is that I've already invested in fixing the Pit's infrastructure even though I'm not mod yet)

Quote by EpiExplorer
This 'wolfinator' offers that which he does not own!

I shall peruse virtual strumpets elsewhere.

I say good day, sir!
Nonsense! I'm just a socialist!
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It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
Last edited by Wolfinator-x at Oct 9, 2016,
#15
Thank you.

And don't pretend you hadn't first posted that in chrismendiola's thread. I saw that, seeing as I'm going to need the reflexes to see posts quickly as mod.
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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#16
I had both tabs open. Posted in the wrong one. I'd have been truly impressed if you had moved the post for me.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#17
I would have, if I had the powers to
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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#18
Quote by Wolfinator-x
And because it's going to get me more votes from you perverts:

Wolfinator-x trying to distract from contentious policy with the oldest trick in the book, and making no apologies for it.
You have to admire the audacity, but you're not fooling this punter.
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#19
Quote by Gatecrasher53
Wolfinator-x trying to distract from contentious policy with the oldest trick in the book, and making no apologies for it.
You have to admire the audacity, but you're not fooling this punter.
You seem to be awfully aware of what's hidden beneath those spoiler tags for someone who isn't being fooled
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You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#20
Quote by Wolfinator-x
You seem to be awfully aware of what's hidden beneath those spoiler tags for someone who isn't being fooled

I'm a diligent reporter, I always get to the bottom of things, no matter the 'cost'
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#21
Teehee, bottom.
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It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#22
I like how the candidates are starting to shitpost to keep their thread bumped to the top of the page.

You're welcome, Joel.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Oct 9, 2016,
#23
I do enjoy a gyro
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#24
My name is eGraham and I'm not running for office but I approve of these gifs
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#25
Thank you! And what a shame, you really would make a good m-- wait a minute...
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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#27
Thanks, bro. You're extreme too.
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You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#28
Quote by EndTheRapture51
source pls

are you sure? like what if she actually makes good music on the side what then???




#29
Quote by MinterMan22
are you sure? like what if she actually makes good music on the side what then???

Gooooottt 'im damn
Free Ali
Free Lard
#30
Quote by MinterMan22
are you sure? like what if she actually makes good music on the side what then???


ill jam out to it with a semi then

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#31
Quote by MinterMan22
are you sure? like what if she actually makes good music on the side what then???
I'll personally invite her to join the Pit.
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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#33
Hey everybody, just bringing in some more gifs. I can assure you there will be more gifs on UG if I am mod!


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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


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Last edited by Wolfinator-x at Aug 13, 2017,
#34
Lies

Nothing in this world is free
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#35
sexual pervert Wolfinator-x is unfit for office


#swallowthestew
Check out my band Disturbed
#36
I'm not the pervert, my voters are. I'm just giving the people what they want.

Gawd.
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It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#37
And now a message from our sponsors:







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Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#39
Quote by Will Lane
i'm up for gyros for everyone

who'er does not want their gyro please hand to me

you silly
Beyond free gyros, I promise to genuinely try to do shit that the Pit can benefit from such as closing threads, opening threads, contributing to threads, posting gifs of kittens

what more do you want
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You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Esperanza Spalding, Vulfpeck, Caravan Palace


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#40
Quote by Wolfinator-x
Beyond free gyros, I promise to genuinely try to do shit that the Pit can benefit from such as closing threads, opening threads, contributing to threads, posting gifs of kittens

what more do you want
...

more gyros
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