#1
I'm Necrosis1193, and I approve this message.



Are you tired of insider candidates who don't care about the little guy?

Are you sick of business as usual on main street, even though we don't have a main street, or any streets at all?

Have you had it up to here with your business being done on streets you don't get any say on because they don't actually exist?

Then maybe it's time for you to consider a third option. An outsider candidate so outside, he's not even on the ballot.

LITTLE GUY

Do you hate the way that The Pit revolves around a half-dozen assholes and whatever tickles their fancy? Do you want a more open community where everyone has an equal voice? If that's the case, Necrosis1193 is the candidate for you. I'm not a member of the Pitshington elites. I'm not some mainstream wuss who just wants to get buddy-buddy with the Comrades at the hippy drugs and communism club. I'm a real UGer who gets the struggles of the regular, common man. If I'm elected, I'll ban one of the regulars at random every month just to remind them who's really in charge. No more circlejerk, because I'm bringing the banhammer down on their balls.

NO TAXES

Are you sick and tired of paying taxes? Of course you are. Well under my reign, every member of The Pit who I don't hate will get a free tax exemption from all taxes. Next time the IRS sends you a form asking for money, tell them to fuck off; Emperesident Necrosis1193 has you covered. Then if they haul you off to jail for felony tax evasion, I'll sue them, and win, because I'll be suing them in The First Court Of The Pit, where I make the rules.

EFFICIENCY

I spent literally five minutes on my campaign banner. Do you really want someone who's so stupid that they'll spend any actual time on a campaign for moderator of a guitar forum's off-topic section? Hell no you don't. Vote for me, because I'm smart enough not to care, which makes me efficient, because I won't waste any time with dumb things like "details" and "doing it properly."

WALL

We're going to build a wall around people I don't like to keep them out, and we'll make Xiaoxi pay for it. Why? I don't actually know, because unlike the people the wall is around, I actually kinda like him. But business is business, and that wall has to get paid for somehow. Pony up, son.

NOT EASTWINN

Self-explanatory

So this election day, don't vote. I'm not on the ballot anyways, because I'm a maverick, and unlike those career moderator Pitshington insiders, I don't play by the rules. Instead, cast your vote for me by not voting for me. With my name not on the ballot, every vote that isn't cast counts as a vote for me. When the polls turn up empty, the fat cats in charge on imaginary main street will have no choice but to surrender the keys to the nonexistent city over to me and my gigantic hands, and we'll all live in peace and prosperity under my eternal reign.



Necrosis1193: I will grab you by the pussy

with consent

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#2
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

#3
Holy shit. I need to warn the campaign!
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
Quote by ErikLensherr
Normani
Normani
Normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#4
Quote by necrosis1193
We're going to build a wall around people I don't like to keep them out, and we'll make Xiaoxi pay for it. Why? I don't actually know, because unlike the people the wall is around, I actually kinda like him. But business is business, and that wall has to get paid for somehow. Pony up, son.
I know a guy with great rates.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#6
Quote by Primus2112
why dont you like eastwinn


Cos he's a dork probably
#7
^Edit: Also that

Quote by Xiaoxi
I know a guy with great rates.


How does he feel about human organs in lieu of cash?

Quote by Primus2112
why dont you like eastwinn


I think Eastwinn is a great guy. The best. I like Eastwinn, and he likes me. He really likes me. I mean who doesn't? But the fact is folks, Eastwinn is too weak to be a good leader. He's too weak. We need a strong leader, a strong leader is what's going to make The Pit great again. Eastwinn can't be that leader. He just can't, okay? That's just the truth. I'm just saying it, he can't be that leader. I can. I can be strong. I can do what we need.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
Last edited by necrosis1193 at Oct 11, 2016,
#9
Quote by Spinnerweb
Would you run for a Klondike bar?


Depends which flavor

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#10
Don't make Xiaoxi pay for it, make him build it. His people know a thing or two about xenophobic wall-building.
#11
These days I just hire mexicans.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#12
Quote by necrosis1193
Depends which flavor

Klondike bars have different flavours?

Oh I dunno. Vanilla.
#13
Quote by chrismendiola
Don't make Xiaoxi pay for it, make him build it. His people know a thing or two about xenophobic wall-building.


Quote by Xiaoxi
These days I just hire mexicans.


Gentlemen, please, there are enough people that I don't like for us to try out every option!

Quote by Spinnerweb
Klondike bars have different flavours?


Yep

Oh I dunno. Vanilla.


Trick question, it was going to be a yes either way because I am a slut for ice cream

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#15
Quote by k.lainad
i would vote for you OP


Vice Emperesident confirmed

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#16
You have my vote, good sir
I ain't got no job, my wife left me
bills piling up,
I got child-support payments.
And I don't know if any of what I just said
is true. But I believe it.
#18
Quote by necrosis1193
I am a slut for ice cream


Vote given ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
#19
Quote by necrosis1193

NOT EASTWINN



Well, you've got my vote.

Quote by EyeNon15
Thats too bad, I was under the impression I was arguing something profound


1 3 5 R
2 4 6
#20
Quote by ButtPluck
You have my vote, good sir


Quote by Guitar0player
You are not running and I'd still vote for you.


Quote by Spinnerweb
Vote given ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )


Quote by JustRooster
Well, you've got my vote.


You are all beautiful people who I will totally abuse my powers to do favors for

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#21
My friends, the election is almost upon us. And by "the election" I mean "the massacre." And by "us" I mean "my opponents." Before the polls open, I'd like to give you a simple rundown of my opponents, if we can consider drugged-out communists, egomaniacal fascists, corrupt pitshington elites, and europeans real opponents. I would like to remind everyone that I am not attacking my opponents, but rather that I am simply stating facts about them, then corresponding facts about myself, which may or may not make obvious that I am the better and handsomer of the options.

  • MH400 - MH400 is running on the platform of electing Fassa as a mod. I enjoyed Fassa's presence as much as the next person, but Fassa is gone. This makes about as much sense as voting for a corpse, and you people don't strike me as the type to vote for a corpse, though I'm sure one or two of you did support Jeb Bush. Vote for me, I'm not dead.
  • ErikLensherr - Let us dispel with the fiction that Erik knows what he's doing. He does not know what he's doing. If he did, he would not have staked his entire campaign on being the Little Marco of UG. Erik is a good guy, but he's just too tiny and thirsty to make a good moderator. Vote for me, I'm tall and well-hydrated.
  • Wolfinator-x - The man's profile photo is him having sex with a cat. While he does seem like a very tender, caring lover, one must wonder what kind of real commitment we can expect from a flip-flopper who purports to be a wolf man, but then is found cavorting with felines. If Wolfie can't make up his mind in the bedroom, do you expect him to make up his mind for the board? Vote for me, and I'll be consistent about which kind of things I'd have sex with.
  • K'Nuckles - Loose lips sink ships. Well what happens when your teeth are so horrendous that you can't ever close your lips? You don't just sink ships, you sink airliners. In other words, K'Nuckles did Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Vote for me, and we'll call him a terrorist, which lets us do whatever the hell we want to him.
  • Ali.guitarkid7 - A vote for Ali is a vote for whiny pretentious indie films that use artistic expression as an excuse for incoherent writing and shoddy camerawork. Vote for me, and we'll watch movies that are actually entertaining to watch.
  • Baby_Joel - Incumbent candidate, The first part of this career moderator's name is apt. Don't let this main street elitist con you into voting for him, folks. Vote for me, and help destroy the circlejerking establishment he helped create.
  • xTURTLENECKx - According to his own profile, my opponent is in high school. Do you really want a candidate you could go to jail for having sex with? No you don't. Vote for me, we can have sex all day without anyone getting arrested, unless you're into that.
  • Joshua Garcia - Not gonna lie, Josh is actually a pretty good dude. But is he leadership quality? All you have to do is look at his name. Garcia. Which starts with a G. What also starts with G? Green. The color green. The color purple. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince. Princes. Royalty. Monarchy. A vote for Josh is a vote for a tyrannical monarchy. Vote for me, I'm not a monarch, just an emperor.
  • Banjocal - Who plays banjo in this day and age? Rednecks, that's who. Banjo isn't just a redneck, Banjo is a British redneck. Which also means that until the last year, he was a European redneck, and on top of that. he probably voted to stay in the EU, so he's probably even more European than other British candidates. Vote for me, I'm not a closet European and I don't play banjo.
  • ESPLTDV401DX - ESP is also a pretty cool guy, just like Josh. But you know what else he is? A guitar. That's a guitar model in his name folks, don't be fooled. And what do people do with guitars? Play them. Do you want a moderator who'll get played by the competition? Vote for me, I'm not a plaything.
  • Colohue - My opponent tries to present himself as an outsider of the people, but he's a former CC. He's a member of the establishment. Not only is he a main street insider, he's pretending not to be. Vote for me, I'll be up-front with you about being a maniacal villain hell-bent on your destruction.
  • Trowzaa - Trowzaa rhymes with yowza. Yowza is a common phrase made out of surprise when negatively startled. Clearly Trowzaa is a negative surprise about to befall us all. Vote for me, my negatives aren't a surprise.
  • M00NAGEDAYDREAM - The man's entire campaign statement was a picture of a puppy. Do we really want someone who would take such a cute creature and use it for political reasons? Vote for me, I don't politicize puppies.
  • Chrismendiola - The man does not lift. Vote for me, I lift things up, and I put them down. Sometimes, those things I lift are dreams, and those things I put down are communists.
  • ultimate-slash - Slash isn't real. He's a fairy tale, just like Santa Claus and Ben Carson. Vote for me, I'm not fake.
  • Tanglewoodguit - The man couldn't even finish the word "guitar" in his name. Vote for me, I'm not tangled, and I can say "guitar" properly.
  • drdoom8793 - Should we really be voting a supervillain into power? No, we shouldn't. Vote for me, I'm not a supervillain.
  • RAB11 - RAB's signature includes a flower. People, like me, are allergic to flowers. Do we really want a moderator that half the population is allergic to? Vote for me, I have allergies.
  • EndTheRapture51 - Local clickbait-peddler becomes moderator of a forum. What happens next will blow your mind! Vote for me, I hate clickbait.
  • Kalypto - My opponent promises to do nothing. Do we really want that? Vote for me, I won't even do nothing.
  • stratkat - Strat is a good guy, but does he really have what it takes to lead us? Judging by his fashion sense, I'd say not. Camo hat with a white shirt and a red tie? Vote for me, I have a fashion sense.
  • zgr0826 - zgr0826 is my vice candidate. I love him like a brother. But he's also a communist, so must die. Such is life. Vote for me, I'm not a communist.
  • slipknot5678 - The man's entire campaign platform is cute birds. Birds are adorable, but they think they're better than you, flying in the air and shitting everywhere. Vote for me, I don't think I'm better to you, and I only shit where it's convenient.
  • i_lovemetallica - My opponent claims to love Metallica, but does he really? Why is his avatar not Metallica-related then? Why does he seem more preferential of flowers than metal? I think we know the real answer. Vote for me, I won't lie to you about Metallica.
  • Eastwinn - As you may have noticed, I have predicated much of my campaign on my staunch history of not being Eastwinn. It is my great regret to inform you that not only is my opponent Eastwinnish, he is completely and totally Eastwinn. Vote for me, I'm not Eastwinn.
  • Bladez22 - Blade is a rad guy, but he has yet to answer the important questions. For example, is he reading my posts in J.K. Simmons' voice? Vote for me, I read my posts in J.K. Simmons' voice.
  • neidnarb11890 - Have you ever met someone whose own expression sums up how you feel about them? Vote for me, my avatar is completely unrelated to how you feel about my campaign, unless you do drugs, in which case, vote for me, the drugs think it's a good idea.
  • StewieSwan - My opponent has renounced his candidacy. Vote for me, I won't drop out of the race like some Chris Christie.


As you can see, I am far superior to my opponents in every fathomable way. So in this upcoming election, vote for me, because I don't suck, and neither do you.


In all seriousness apparently even though I'm after the deadline my name is now in the official post's list of candidates so I'm actually getting to run. Neat! I'll be up-front with you guys, I do not have the time to be a super-attentive moderator. Work is a pain, and I don't know how much of a commitment I can make. I do know though that I'll try to do right by you folks. I don't care what you think or do as long as you follow the rules. I don't care what you want to talk about as long as it's legal and doesn't break any rules. All I want to do if I'm elected is delete spambots and tell assholes to knock it off. I've been here over eight years, I know this can be a great, fun community if we try, and I want to try.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
Last edited by necrosis1193 at Oct 12, 2016,
#25
Quote by Wolfinator-x
Nonsense! I love all animals! Also, presumptuous of you to think it is I practicing cunnilingus in that photograph.




Your witness

Quote by chrismendiola
fuuuuuckin got 'im


Nailed him harder than the Indians nailed the Sox

Quote by Baby Joel
the effort is top notch

i gotta say my vote is torn between you and eastwinn




If it sways your vote, I would like to reiterate my campaign promise to not be Eastwinn. Can my opponent promise that?

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#26
Quote by necrosis1193
zgr0826 - zgr0826 is my vice candidate. I love him like a brother. But he's also a communist, so must die. Such is life. Vote for me, I'm not a communist.


Such is life in Soviet UG.

ilu bby
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
Quote by ErikLensherr
Normani
Normani
Normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#27
you know i really struggled with the idea of making a "i'm running but not really" thread but i never made the jump

glad you did for me so i don't have to and avoid any backlash it could have gotten

gotta keep the ug iq in top shape
#28
Quote by zgr0826
Such is life in Soviet UG.

ilu bby






Quote by Will Lane
you know i really struggled with the idea of making a "i'm running but not really" thread but i never made the jump

glad you did for me so i don't have to and avoid any backlash it could have gotten

gotta keep the ug iq in top shape


I still do not know what IQ does. And I intend to keep it that way. I'll be damned if I let the eggheads in charge tell me what that number means, or to use it to make any decisions.

Vote for me, I'm ignorant of how the system works and damn proud of it.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#29
Quote by necrosis1193

Necrosis1193: I will grab you by the pussy

with consent
consent granted

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#30
Quote by necrosis1193

  • ErikLensherr - Let us dispel with the fiction that Erik knows what he's doing. He does not know what he's doing. If he did, he would not have staked his entire campaign on being the Little Marco of UG. Erik is a good guy, but he's just too tiny and thirsty to make a good moderator. Vote for me, I'm tall and well-hydrated.
  • Ali.guitarkid7 - A vote for Ali is a vote for whiny pretentious indie films that use artistic expression as an excuse for incoherent writing and shoddy camerawork. Vote for me, and we'll watch movies that are actually entertaining to watch.
  • xTURTLENECKx - According to his own profile, my opponent is in high school. Do you really want a candidate you could go to jail for having sex with? No you don't. Vote for me, we can have sex all day without anyone getting arrested, unless you're into that.
  • ESPLTDV401DX - ESP is also a pretty cool guy, just like Josh. But you know what else he is? A guitar. That's a guitar model in his name folks, don't be fooled. And what do people do with guitars? Play them. Do you want a moderator who'll get played by the competition? Vote for me, I'm not a plaything.
  • Trowzaa - Trowzaa rhymes with yowza. Yowza is a common phrase made out of surprise when negatively startled. Clearly Trowzaa is a negative surprise about to befall us all. Vote for me, my negatives aren't a surprise.
  • Chrismendiola - The man does not lift. Vote for me, I lift things up, and I put them down. Sometimes, those things I lift are dreams, and those things I put down are communists.
  • RAB11 - RAB's signature includes a flower. People, like me, are allergic to flowers. Do we really want a moderator that half the population is allergic to? Vote for me, I have allergies.
  • EndTheRapture51 - Local clickbait-peddler becomes moderator of a forum. What happens next will blow your mind! Vote for me, I hate clickbait.
  • Eastwinn - As you may have noticed, I have predicated much of my campaign on my staunch history of not being Eastwinn. It is my great regret to inform you that not only is my opponent Eastwinnish, he is completely and totally Eastwinn. Vote for me, I'm not Eastwinn.

my favorites. do more

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#31
Quote by Xiaoxi
consent granted


Consider it grabbed, honey



Quote by Xiaoxi
my favorites. do more


Ali just dropped out of the race right as the election is coming to a head because he felt he had no realistic chance, in spite of en enthusiastic early response to his "anti-*GROUP OF YOUR CHOICE HERE*" rhetoric. Who does this sound like? That's right, Ted Cruz. Vote for me, I'm not UG's Ted Cruz.

Erik has suddenly received an outpouring of support that he did not have a few short hours ago, for no reason other than because the candidate that his new backers actually wanted was dead in the water, and they figured he actually has a shot. Further cementing the status that he had created for himself as UG's Little Marco. How do we know he's not actually from Florida, which is basically a third-world country? Vote for me, I'm not from Florida.

I'll do more in the morning when I have a full night's rest to come up with reasons I'm a good candidate. Vote for me, I get a healthy amount of sleep.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#32
My fellow UGicans, I cannot currently access The Pit. Every single time I try, I get the "shit happens" error message. Every other subforum works. Well you know what I think? I think it's a conspiracy. The fat cats and greedy pigs are so afraid of We The People shaking up their buddy-buddy oligarchical sinhouse that they've decided to lock out the candidates who threaten their system of power. Well unfortunately for them, I was able to still access this thread through the "Threads history" box on the main forum page, I was able to access the most important thread of all. This one. If you're tired of overarching schemes by the Imodinati to put down The Little Guy, then make your voice heard and stick it to The Man and his combine harvester of tyranny mowing down the free wheat of justice. Vote for me, I'm a conspiracy theorist armed with bad analogies.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#33
Quote by necrosis1193
My fellow UGicans, I cannot currently access The Pit. Every single time I try, I get the "shit happens" error message. Every other subforum works. Well you know what I think? I think it's a conspiracy. The fat cats and greedy pigs are so afraid of We The People shaking up their buddy-buddy oligarchical sinhouse that they've decided to lock out the candidates who threaten their system of power. Well unfortunately for them, I was able to still access this thread through the "Threads history" box on the main forum page, I was able to access the most important thread of all. This one. If you're tired of overarching schemes by the Imodinati to put down The Little Guy, then make your voice heard and stick it to The Man and his combine harvester of tyranny mowing down the free wheat of justice. Vote for me, I'm a conspiracy theorist armed with bad analogies.


Are we gonna be Mods on Parade?
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
Quote by ErikLensherr
Normani
Normani
Normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#34
Quote by zgr0826
Are we gonna be Mods on Parade?


With a pocket full of shells.

Sea shells, specifically.

I know some people might find that questionable, but those people have never had to fight the ocean. What do you get when you listen to a shell? That's right, ocean sounds. I'm not talking Aquaman's "I can control fish" nonsense, I'm talking full-blown angry Poseidon's wrath unleashed upon our soon-to-be-vanquished foes. You've got an attack ad? I've got a tidal wave. Vote for me, I have an angry sea god on shell-phone speed dial.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#35
Quote by necrosis1193
With a pocket full of shells.

Sea shells, specifically.

I know some people might find that questionable, but those people have never had to fight the ocean. What do you get when you listen to a shell? That's right, ocean sounds. I'm not talking Aquaman's "I can control fish" nonsense, I'm talking full-blown angry Poseidon's wrath unleashed upon our soon-to-be-vanquished foes. You've got an attack ad? I've got a tidal wave. Vote for me, I have an angry sea god on shell-phone speed dial.


My (in-spirit) running mate be dropping (metaphorical) bomb(shell)s.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
Quote by ErikLensherr
Normani
Normani
Normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#37
have you ever thought about if you put a shell to your ear and go 'oh wonder what this sounds like' and then a crab or something comes outta nowhere and eats your brain
#38
Quote by chrismendiola
Can't hostess necrosis.


Can't Check the Nec

Quote by Baby Joel
have you ever thought about if you put a shell to your ear and go 'oh wonder what this sounds like' and then a crab or something comes outta nowhere and eats your brain


A crab wouldn't eat my brain. As a resident of the state of Maryland, my coming-of-age was marked by throwing a resident of West Virginia into the Chesapeake Bay as a sacrifice. Ever since that day, just like every other Maryland resident, I have total and unquestioned power to command crabs and other crustaceans. Mostly I use this power to make crab cakes. Sometimes I use it to fight people. But whenever I listen to a sea shell, I use it to make sure my brain stays 100% not-eaten.

Vote for me, I have crabs.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6
#39
Quote by necrosis1193
Erik has suddenly received an outpouring of support that he did not have a few short hours ago, for no reason other than because the candidate that his new backers actually wanted was dead in the water, and they figured he actually has a shot. Further cementing the status that he had created for himself as UG's Little Marco. How do we know he's not actually from Florida, which is basically a third-world country? Vote for me, I'm not from Florida.


Being from Miami would be an improvement over being from the DMV area lmao for more sick burns like this vote Erik on October 14th.
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by Fat Lard
My name can actually be traced back to as early as the 1990s, it means "fuck off data miner"
#40
Quote by ErikLensherr
Being from Miami would be an improvement over being from the DMV area lmao for more sick burns like this vote Erik on October 14th.


Folks, I ask you, is this the kind of content you expect from your new moderator? A lazy punchline with no real thought put into it? Sad Little Erik and his lazy, small-handed punchlines? No it's not. You need a leader who's big. Who has hands that are properly proportional to his body. A leader who's not afraid to make thinly veiled jabs at his opponent's manhood while simultaneously reminding you that he's the bigger man, literally and sometimes metaphorically.

Vote for me, I'll talk trash about my opponent's penises while reminding you that I'm taller than Little Erik.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2016: 78-65
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2016: 1-0
2016 NFL Pick 'Em: 10-6