i sense that language teachers being 'eccentric' is a pattern.

my spanish teacher had a reputation for being 'crazy'. i don't remember too much why. anxious, agitated mannerisms. some rumor about a divorce from an asian husband on certain grounds that seemed weird. her name was pronounced "flipsy" (always sounded like a cat to me) before it was changed (via divorce).

my acquaintance had a german teacher who, so he says, was a pathological liar; she always talked about this and that in germany, told stories about living there, then it turned out she had never left the united states.

my mother had a french teacher who was such a helpless crybaby pushover, and the students bullied her such, that the class never learned anything beyond cardinal numbers and ouvre la porte.

stéphane mallarmé taught english and hewed difficult, hermetic poetry which he understood through a quasi-mystical semiotic experience.

peggy hill.

these examples are not terribly forceful, but i want this pattern to be real. tell me about your language teachers.
Last edited by █▐▌█▐▌ at Oct 12, 2016,
She was perfectly normal

she taught through a webcam

but still normal
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Had a Chinese teacher, Mr Youseof (can't remember the spelling but it was pronounced you-soff) who taught us how to punch like a Chinaman. Basically you stand legs shoulder width apart, both hands at your hips with palms facing upwards. Then make fists with your hands and punch from the hip straight to the target, as your arm connects you twist your fist 180 degrees and then pull back sharply and return to how you started. The idea is you're supposed to twist your opponents organs causing further damage.

No idea if it's real but it's funny and something I always remember. He was also pretty eccentric/excited.
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Last edited by Gatecrasher53 at Oct 12, 2016,
My year seven French teacher remains one of the most prettiest people I ever met. Pretty decent person though.

Then her replacement was a very strict, very tall lady who refused to use any other language with us despite our clear struggles to follow instructions. She really only liked the native-level Swiss-Maroc kid. I recently saw this Swiss-Moroccan dude on Tinder. I swiped left.
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I swiped left.
that was fucking

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Ok, I'm going about this in a semi-structured manner, seeing as I had so many different language teachers. I'm also mixing up secondary school and higher education, as I can't be bothered sorting it all...

Two different female teachers who were actually surprisingly normal. Pretty nice too, especially considering what an awful student I was during their classes
One guy who just let us watch lame French comedies all year and spent just about all his time taking papers out of his briefcase, stacking them on his desk, sorting through them, putting them back in his briefcase and then taking them out again.

I had two, but I can only remember an old guy (the other was a younger woman, I think). He was pretty scary, because he liked yelling for no reason. Not a good combo when it's also in German. No one really liked him, but he seemed to like me, so the class was pretty chill.

All of them (about 7 or 8 that I can remember), pretty nice, but batshit insane. No need to single out any specifically. (Perhaps maybe the cute blonde one who once told me after a presentation that I had a soothing voice)

A jolly, round Belgium guy. Such a fucking champ.
A Dutch woman who seemingly convinced herself that she could actually speak Spanish, and would correct things that were definitely correct (as sometimes confirmed by other, better Spanish teachers).
A Spanish woman who didn't speak Dutch and only spoke a little English. I was the only one who always showed up to her classes, so she spent a lot of time talking directly to me, even though I understood only about one in twenty words she said.
A Belgian woman who was the physical embodiment of everything that is evil in this world. I'm 99% sure they accidentally left out "silver bullets" in the required materials for the class.

Every single one of them (6 or 7) absolutely wonderful people. Some examples:
- Dutch woman with the most sultry voice you've ever heard. For some reason I managed to convince her to let me do my English oral in Dutch. Still don't know what happened there, but I got a score of 9 out of 10 for that one.
- Chubby, short, old British guy. Would just spend the entire class talking about what we wanted to talk about.
- Chubby, tall, younger British guy. If a class wouldn't keep quiet, he'd just take out some other stuff to do and ignore the class. Did this for an entire hour once, until someone stood up and said "We're sorry, would you please continue teaching us something?"
I'll sing you a story of a duck
A duck whose name is Alfred Kwak
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"We're sorry, would you please continue teaching us something?"

This must have been a higher education class cause that would never have happened in high school.
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This must have been a higher education class cause that would never have happened in high school.


That was actually the most embarrassing part as well. A room full of people who are legally adults, but most of them were so incredibly immature
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Never had a language teacher, I had more useful electives to take.

I did have vicious speech problems and took a lot of classes on just speaking in general as a kid.
My spanish teacher in high school had a pornstache.

Also he drove one of those cars that you put together yourself but supposed to look like an expensive car. He had a Ferrari one of those.
My Spanish teacher in seventh grade was batshit. She used to dance around the classroom and just used the most unconventional teaching mannerisms I've ever seen. One time, she ate chalk.
Free Ali
elementary school french teacher was a bit cray but mostly just very nervous
highschool italian teacher was legit cray
the german teacher was known for being a 'klerikalec' which is basically the worst kind of catholic
the spanish teacher was apparently cool but she seemed very eccentric to me

the english teachers were generally cool but the one that taught my class in high school was a fucking legend, i should go to my highschool and visit her

Volimo vas, brda tvrda i stravične vaše klance

Koji nikad ne poznaše sramotnoga ropstva lance.

I had a German prof who self-styled as some kind of left-leaning anarchist. His office door had a bunch of printouts with Edward Abbey quotations. He introduced himself as "... Dr. [name], but that's just what the IRS calls me" and it got more eccentric from there. In retrospect, a little tryhardy though stylish for a humanities person steeped in 70s higher ed pedagogy. We translated passages from Faust and Siddhartha and some of Novalis' poems, so it was alright.

Italian professor was alright too, though I'm inclined to think she was conscious of her oddness and masked it behind professionalism. She had moments where she'd mention something wildly libertine she'd done, but then pull back on it. Kinda like there's a lot of anxiety about having a tenure-track position in a conservative region and you really don't want people to know you drop acid and go to fetish clubs on the weekends. Or a cat lady. idk, difficult to say

High school French teacher was unremarkable. I learned a good bit from her though.
Last edited by Aeolian Harmony at Oct 12, 2016,
Oh, I forgot about one of my Dutch teachers who had a great story.

He translated a book once, and had just finished the first draft, knowing full well that he needed to let it sit for a bit and take out all remaining errors (of which t here were plenty) later on. Publishing company asks him to send the draft, he replies that he doesn't want to send it until it's finished. They say send it anyway, we're not going to use it, it's just to get a general idea.
He sends the draft, and a week or so later, he gets a message. "Thanks for the translation, it's already being printed"

In the end, the guy was so embarrassed about his unchecked work that he visited all the bookstores in the city and bought every copy of the book he could find.
I'll sing you a story of a duck
A duck whose name is Alfred Kwak
french for the first 2 years was this local east london lady who taught spanish as well. she was definitely crazy but fun and was easygoing, and she would take the piss out of us when we'd pronounce french words with heavy london accents.

french later (yr 9 + I did it for GCSE) was a hyper strict lad from senegal I think that everyone hated. she spoke mediocre english so would tell you off in short english bits between a bunch of french mumbling. at some point everyone decided she couldn't complain about all of us at once, so we all just rebelled and spent lessons seeing how much we could collectively annoy her between being shouted at. I disliked her enough that I purposefully tried to fail french despite perfectly capable of doing well (was top of every other academic class). It was partly to spite her and partly because getting A+ in everything was getting boring and in a sadistic way I wanted to see myself actually fail a class. But I still ended up a pass at with 40% despite not doing anything in the tests and genuinely just sitting through the oral test shrugging my shoulders at her french questions.

Never actually wanted to do French in GCSE but our school had it so you had to pick a language, history or geography in that slot and history and geography time tables clashed with my preferred classes. Also in our school then, you got put randomly into one language class when you first started, usually stayed with that language into year 9 and then stuck with it if you wanted to not be screwed with GCSE.

You could change in yrs 7-9 when the with a new term came but then you have the issue of having to start again in a new language and falling behind if you wanted to go back, so no one really did it. I hope they let the kids try each out now over a term or something so they have a better idea which they want to do. I remember constantly wishing I had got dumped in spanish at the start since I would have been put with the cool/crazy lady until the end.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson

i took french for 3 years in highschool and i didn't learn much at all

my french 1 teacher was actually french, but quit after a semester, because she was old af, she was good at her job and really nice
(so we had a subsititute teacher for the rest of the year that didn't know anything lol)

my french 2 teacher was originally from nigeria, so she had a very thick accent and didn't speak french very well, but she taught grammar and stuff pretty well
that class had a lot of disobedient kids, and she would get into arguments with students like everyday, i don't think i learned anything in that class that i remember now.

my french 3 teacher was from iran, she didn't know much, and most days were "movie days" and we would just bring snacks to class and chill
pretty easy year that was lol

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My german teacher at school spoke so many languages fluently that I still don't know where he's originally from.

My high school German teacher was the same way. She spoke pretty much every major Western European Language plus Latin. She was always a very happy person. Easily one of my favorite teachers. She passed away from colon cancer about a year ago.
One of my Spanish teachers in middle school molested a girl and was fired. That's going way beyond "eccentric" though.

My Turkish teacher did a little happy dance whenever anyone answered any of his questions and did not repeat a single tie.

All my other language teachers have had their own quirks but nothing that warrants a label.
Okay I might end up being a language teacher next year

so what would be the weird thing about me if I were one? People who have met me IRL have an advantage here but I'm sure I'm betrayed some mannerisms on webchat?
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My french teacher at secondary school had no eyebrows. Anyone non-eccentric would obviously buy fake eyebrows and glue them on.

Also, language teachers devote their lives to teaching the barbaric tongue of Mr Johnny Foreigner. Figures that they're all weird.
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My first Spanish teacher bailed halfway through the school year cause he decided to buy a TV station, dude would always be wearing the classiest, tailored wool suits every day even though it was pretty common to get 100-110 degrees during the early and late school years. I saw him at walmart like a year later and he was STILL wearing a custom tailored wool suit in the middle of July

My second Spanish teacher was basically Leslie Knope's husband in Parks and Recreation except Guatemalan, Mormon, and 6'5"

My third Spanish teacher thought I was suicidal or something and always asked me if I was okay because my cat fucked up my arm real bad and it looked like I was self harming, all I remember about that class is watching Coraline in Spanish without subtitles and vaguely understanding it
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
One Spanish teacher I had just didn't give af. Once he saw a student with a book open during an exam. He said, and I quote "I don't care, I'm still getting a paycheck"

Amazingly he was somehow simultaneously both the worst and best teacher I've ever had
Last edited by EyeNon15 at Oct 15, 2016,
naw not in my overall experience.

had a series of around 7 different spanish teachers from 1st grade up to 8th. all of them were just bad teachers.

1st german teacher i had was just some old german dude. most out of the ordinary thing about him was that he was born during WWII and lost hearing in an ear from an explosion.

2nd german teacher was a bit out there. she was really into all kinds of hippy new age bullshit, but she was still pretty cool. she might have misunderstood the life circumstances and general piece-of-shit-ness of the majority of my classmates tho. she genuinely tried to teach things unrelated to language that might've been helpful from a practical perspective, but the kids at my school were mostly rich bitch little shitheads who refused to show her a modicum of respect because of her left leaning politics.
My French teacher in HS was about 5' tall. Nice figure with a great round bottom, cute face too. She was young, I'd say probably 27 or 28. She was dating my idiot wrestling coach (who we duct taped to the shower wall).

I still remember a fair amount of French, so she did a decent job at teaching.