#2
I had no friends. My parents used to take me out for a meal each year and that was nice.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#3
On the day before my 21st birthday, I was transferred from a general surgical ward in one hospital to the surgical high-dependency ward in a different hospital.

On my birthday, I only had some contrast medium to drink before getting a bunch of CT scans around lunchtime, during which I had a tube jammed in between a couple of ribs to drain a collection of fluid on my pancreas.

About 4 hours later, when damn all had actually been collected in the bag from the drain(the trainee who placed it missed the collection), I bumped 3 people off the emergency theatre list, so just had to wait for the case in progress to finish before being opened up to have it drained properly.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#4
I worked a 12 hour shift at Asda and then came home and my friends had planned me a surprise party when I just wanted to sleep

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car

bring back UG classic
#5
Looks like we're up for another DEPRESSING THREAD

they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#6
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I worked a 12 hour shift at Asda and then came home and my friends had planned me a surprise party when I just wanted to sleep
That's what cocaine was invented for.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#7
I used to enjoy birthdays and it was awful. I'm glad they are now fairly meaningless days in which I do very little but go out for a meal.
I have nothing important to say
#8
I was fresh into high school, with a limited amount of friends.

I wanted to go bowling and only my best friend could make it. My mom, feeling sorry for me, invited some girls from the choir at school (my sister sang and my mom was quite involved).

The only person that showed was my best friend. Felt bad, man.

Thank fuck I have some social skills now
#10
I was abducted by a pedophile on my 9th birthday and he subjected my genitals to electric shocks delivered via copper wires (and car battery) while I was bound to a chair with duct tape.

The cake was lousy too.
#11
Quote by Banjocal
I had no friends. My parents used to take me out for a meal each year and that was nice.


Banjo and his grand dad.

#12
Quote by slapsymcdougal
On the day before my 21st birthday, I was transferred from a general surgical ward in one hospital to the surgical high-dependency ward in a different hospital.

On my birthday, I only had some contrast medium to drink before getting a bunch of CT scans around lunchtime, during which I had a tube jammed in between a couple of ribs to drain a collection of fluid on my pancreas.

About 4 hours later, when damn all had actually been collected in the bag from the drain(the trainee who placed it missed the collection), I bumped 3 people off the emergency theatre list, so just had to wait for the case in progress to finish before being opened up to have it drained properly.


Not a do it yourself type, I take it?
#13
played football at school during lunch.i had braces on my teeth at the time and the ball hit my face. i spent a good amount of time trying to separate my braces from the various insides of my mouth. there was a car on fire on the motorway so it took two hours to get home. i didn't really get much for my birthday in terms of presents; the main one was a £1.5k debt paid off. Which was really really generous, but i was a dick and was in a bad mood. I think my mum made cookies but i only got to eat two of them or something, idk. anyway, i ended up saying "well this is the worst birthday" and then my mum started crying and left the room.

genuinely one of the worst moments of my life
superman is killing himself tonight
#14
Quote by Baby Joel
played football at school during lunch.i had braces on my teeth at the time and the ball hit my face. i spent a good amount of time trying to separate my braces from the various insides of my mouth. there was a car on fire on the motorway and there was no driver at the wheel. And the sewers were all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides. And a dark wind blew. The buildings tumbled in on themselves (mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble and pulled out their hair). The skyline was beautiful on fire - all twisted metal stretching upwards. Everything washed in a thin orange haze. I said, "Kiss me, you're beautiful - These are truly the last days" You grabbed my hand and we fell into it. Like a daydream. Or a fever. We woke up one morning and fell a little further down. I open up my wallet, and it's full of blood

genuinely one of the worst moments of my life
fixed for truth
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#15
Birthdays usually aren't a time of celebration for me already. In fact, they're more of a day of mourning, and as I say that as a generally happy-go-lucky guy.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: This jazz piano music playing over the PA like wow for once it's good stuff they're playing


What if blue cheese is just regular cheese but it's accelerating towards you really fast?
#17
Chose to spend it with a boyfriend instead of with my friends and spent a really boring day wandering around a mall and at the cinema. I was like 19 so definitely old enough not to be having an 8 year old's day out.
#18
my worst b-day was the one where i was born
[lame song]
#hashtag




#19
never had a "bad" birthday, most of them are just spent with family and very close friends.
last good one was when i turned 21, for obvious reasons,
after you meet the drinking age requirement in your country, the rest of your birthdays suck.
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I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
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https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#20
Quote by Banjocal
fixed for truth


so says the preacher man, but i don't go by what he says
i don't know why i feel so dry
#21
My 25th was a few days ago and after a cruddy day at work, I went to the bar by myself and thought about how I wished my ex was there.
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What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


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you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers


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Isis is amazing
#22
one year all i got were some guitar cables. i guess if we are looking at it from a material standpoint all of my recent birthdays have been lousy but that is just growing up i guess. i do not ever remember having a really awful birthday. never one that sticks out in my mind, either.
#23
I've enjoyed sticking just about anything I can find up my butt while I masturbate. I get a little carried away sometimes and push things a little to far. I like the feel of nylons in my butt, so when my mom was at work I would take some of her pantyhose and wrap things up in them. So, one day I was shoving an apple in my butt and it sucked itself in, pantyhose and all. After working for a while to get it out I finally managed to get a grip on it and slowly some of the nylons came out, but not all the way out. Mom came home early that day and walked in to find me crying with her pantyhose hanging out of my butt! Of course she freaked!! It got worse when she made me pull them out and the apple hit the floor with a nasty thud. Now I only masturbate in a locked bathroom using only my hand.
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

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Stalk Me

Shitty Covers

Original Music

Lastfm
#26
Quote by chaoticfables
i was born once
it's terrible right
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#28
Quote by Eastwinn
so says the preacher man, but i don't go by what he says


It was Coney Island, they called Coney Island the playground of the world. There was no place like it, in the whole world, like Coney Island when I was a youngster. No place in the world like it, and it was so fabulous. Now it's shrunk down to almost nothing...you see. And, uh, I still remember in my mind how things used to be, and...uh, you know, I feel very bad. But people from all over the world came here...from all over the world...it was the playground they called it the playground of the world...over here. Anyways, you see, I...uh...you know...I even got, when I was very small, I even got lost at Coney Island, but they found me...on the...on the beach. And we used to sleep on the beach here, sleep overnight..they don't do that anymore. Things changed...you see.

They don't sleep anymore on the beach.
#29
Probs either the actual day I was born (not being depressing it was just very difficult for everyone) or my most recent one because i was at my grandfather's funeral
cat
#30
Every birthday is the worse than the last because it's a reminder of how much closer you are to death.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#31
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
I've enjoyed sticking just about anything I can find up my butt while I masturbate. I get a little carried away sometimes and push things a little to far. I like the feel of nylons in my butt, so when my mom was at work I would take some of her pantyhose and wrap things up in them. So, one day I was shoving an apple in my butt and it sucked itself in, pantyhose and all. After working for a while to get it out I finally managed to get a grip on it and slowly some of the nylons came out, but not all the way out. Mom came home early that day and walked in to find me crying with her pantyhose hanging out of my butt! Of course she freaked!! It got worse when she made me pull them out and the apple hit the floor with a nasty thud. Now I only masturbate in a locked bathroom using only my hand.



sounds like the best birthday ever tbh
#32
In terms of actual birthdays, each of my last...3 have been pretty damn dull to be honest. They've been on a Monday, Tuesday and Thursday respectively and as I live in a different city from my friends and girlfriend, I've literally just gone to work like any other day and done nothing of note in the evenings either.

Of course my subsequent celebrations the weekends before/after were cool.