#1


Over the last two months I've been noticing a bunch of changes in my thought patterns and attitudes. The past few years I've been very in control of my emotions and thoughts. I've felt really confident in myself, had a positive outlook, been able to learn anything quickly, and have considered myself to be very healthy mentally. Over the past two months that's all changing and I can't really explain it. I've been struggling to learn new concepts in my classes at university and I've had trouble even remembering concepts and working with things that I learned easily last year. I've been getting I guess what you would describe as anxiety in the middle of classes when I don't understand something. Itchy feelings and tense muscles. Feels like a fight or flight response. I've also had a super strong desire to lash out at people for any small mistake they make although I've kept that under control and haven't yet. I have trouble focusing constantly and it feels like my memory is slipping. All of this has been leading to doubting myself constantly. I recognize the problem but I can't seem to do anything about it and I don't know what's triggering it. The lack of control is infuriating. I can recognize the weakness but can't understand how to change it.

I haven't felt this way since I had a severe concussion 6 years ago. For about a year after that I was in a very similar state, but slowly got everything under control. I've been under a lot of stress being a full time engineering student and working part time. I haven't had a day off in a month and don't have one scheduled until mid-December, so the stress may be a trigger. My grandfather is bipolar and from all accounts it was a severe concussion as a teenager that changed him. I hope it's not the same for me, but I guess I won't until I lose it.

Anyway, I know the Pit is not a therapist/doctor/etc, but I just wanted to see if anyone else here has gone through something similar and found a way to overcome it. Cheers.
#2
~i see no changes
wake up in the morning and i ask myself

is life worth living
should i blast myself?
Quote by TheChaz
Over the last two months I've been noticing a bunch of changes

Yah it's called puberty
Last edited by chrismendiola at Oct 24, 2016,
#3
LOL good 1 chris I was wondering why my beard is so shitty I'm just going through late puberty at 24.
#4
It's cuz STEM is boring, switch to poli sci and you're sorted.
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#5

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#6
Quote by TheChaz
I haven't felt this way since I had a severe concussion 6 years ago.
My grandfather is bipolar and from all accounts it was a severe concussion as a teenager that changed him.


See a doctor, get some brain scans done.
Don't ask a bunch of sweaty musicians for medical advice.

But if you want an answer: You're probably just over-thinking the situation, and really you're just stressed out from school, that's all. You simply need a break.
#8
It's not necessarily medical advice I'm looking for as I don't know if it is related to my 6 year old concussion although I might bite the bullet and get some brain scans done. Was more just seeing if anyone could relate and offer some advice for non-medical solutions that may have worked for them.
#10
we gotta change the way we EAT
But we little know until tried how much of the uncontrollable there is in us, urging across glaciers and torrents, and up dangerous heights, let the judgment forbid as it may.
#11
I was talking about this yesterday with another transfer student when it comes to assimilating to the quarter system at UCD.

shit sucks bro

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#12
Sorry you are sweating this moment in time Chas. Everybody has similar feelings at one time or another. Some are able to overcome these feelings and some never do.

My 2c
Start with the fundamentals. Go see the Doc and get tested. Rule out medical issues first. Then stick to the basics: Eat real whole food not packaged/processed/fast food bullshit. Get plenty of exercise every day. Physical exertion relieves stress and allows you to fully relax and sleep. Walk, run, ride, swim enough to challenge you physically at least 3 times a week, 5 times is better. Get plenty of sleep in a regular set schedule every day. Avoid drugs and alcohol right now as they tend to dull emotional pain but prevent long term healing.

If you get the fundamentals right, your path forward should become pretty clear. Follow the path and take back control of your life.
"Your sound is in your hands as much as anything. It's the way you pick, and the way you hold the guitar, more than it is the amp or the guitar you use." -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

"Anybody can play. The note is only 20 percent. The attitude of the motherfucker who plays it is 80 percent." -- Miles Davis
#14
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It's because you stopped being Mordin Solus.

That was a great avatar.
Quote by Dreadnought
we gotta change the way we EAT

Actually true. My diet hasn't been great lately since I've started my classes up again, but I've actually been drinking less, so I would think that would help.
#15
Quote by Cajundaddy
Sorry you are sweating this moment in time Chas. Everybody has similar feelings at one time or another. Some are able to overcome these feelings and some never do.

My 2c
Start with the fundamentals. Go see the Doc and get tested. Rule out medical issues first. Then stick to the basics: Eat real whole food not packaged/processed/fast food bullshit. Get plenty of exercise every day. Physical exertion relieves stress and allows you to fully relax and sleep. Walk, run, ride, swim enough to challenge you physically at least 3 times a week, 5 times is better. Get plenty of sleep in a regular set schedule every day. Avoid drugs and alcohol right now as they tend to dull emotional pain but prevent long term healing.

If you get the fundamentals right, your path forward should become pretty clear. Follow the path and take back control of your life.

Thanks. I do ride my bike about 25-30 miles a week and I lift 3-5 days a week. Sleep is the tough part. I usually only get 4-5 hours a night because I often have to stay up late working on homework. I probably should make sure that it's not a physical trauma issue from my multiple concussions. I've had at least 3 over the years with two of them knocking me unconscious for minutes at a time. I'll have to figure out how I can get that done through my university's insurance program.
#16
Everything Cajundaddy said plus drinking water, not energy drinks, soft drinks or coffee but plain old water. Just carry a bottle everywhere you go and you'll find yourself drinking even when you don't think you're thirsty.

I get a lot of those feelings too. Lethargy, difficulty concentrating on work, I've pretty much given up trying to understand one (engineering) subject and am just trying to pass atm. I sometimes try and test my memory and find myself failing. I think it's mostly got to do with poor sleeping habits which is something that needs changing; that, and my lack of physical activity.
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#17
TheChaz
I had a lot of friends when I was a kid. I played with them at recess at school, during p.e., during sports at the game or during practice, or just outside my house on the street with the neighborhood kids. My teachers liked me. My parents liked me. I was even vice president in elementary school. I don't think I have changed at all, but for some reason, I don't have any friends. I don't relate to anyone anymore.

I still have LEGOS in my room. I still have my xbox set up. My action figures and toys are there. I even have musical instruments and a laptop. It's not like I don't do the same stuff. People don't act the same. Nobody is gonna come over and play LEGOS or use their imagination and laugh and enjoy themselves like they use to. I use to play make believe cops and robbers. We used invisible guns. Anyone that acts like a kid is deemed insane. The ones that think I am insane probably wish they could have fun with a LEGO base and some stuffed animal Pokemon plushies.

Work? Ha! I work at Amazon. 10 hours of literally the same thing, 50 hours a week. Open up a box of Battlefield 1 for the PC. Scan one copy's barcode, find room in a bin on a robot, put it in the bin, scan the bin barcode, check the screen, grab another copy, scan the barcode, find room in a bin, no room? Use computer screen to call for next robot, 2 seconds later, new robot and bins, scan item, put in bin, scan bin, open up next box of 32 battlefield 1's for the xboxone, scan one cop, it doesn't end. Never ends!!! 10 hours a day, no breaks, half hour lunch, if you mess up you get a write up and after 3 write ups you're fired. Messing up includes and is not limited to out of the 12,000 copies of battlefield 1, if one single copy didn't scan and you put it in the bin, or if one did scan but you didn't think it did and didn't put it in the bin, you get a write up. Just one error. My friend got 70 on day 1. He's dead now. That is some mother fucking torture. It gives me anxiety attacks. People ask me hey are you ok? And I'm like how are you ok? How does this not make you wanna lull yourself? The task is so stupid that it makes my brain hurt from not using it, but it requires just enough effort to not be able to day dream, to not be able to think of scales and arpeggios, to not be able to play a song or melody in your head. No electronics in the building, ever. Just the sound of plastic containers of the shit you buy on Amazon on conveyor belts that never end.

Yet, I'm still down to play yugioh or go to the park and chill on the playground and do something slightly creative and fun.
#20
Quote by Joshua Garcia
It's because you stopped being Mordin Solus.

Every so often I think back to playing ME and think "Damn, he/she died" and then I feel genuinely sad
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#21
Quote by ultimate-slash
Every so often I think back to playing ME and think "Damn, he/she died" and then I feel genuinely sad
Haha remember when Tali saw the last of her species fvkn die and decided to jump off a cliff haha

She's still a qt tho and I love her.
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#22
I know other people have said it but I would definitely see a doctor ASAP. Especially since you have been unconscious during your concussions. It may not be anything to do with them but in case it is, treatment will be more effective if you get it done earlier. (Not a doctor but I work with people who have had traumatic brain injuries)


See if you can take some time (even just 15 minutes) daily to not do anything. If you like meditating you could do that but if you don't, lay down without sleeping and see where your thoughts take you.
cat
#23
Yeah I've been going through something similar for about a year now. What got me was this habit of externalizing myself from focusing on something to look at its surface logic, and also a weird addiction to escapism. Take some time off. No obligations, unplug your internet, no people, no books or movies. Get a notebook and log what you're feeling.

Though you seem like a pretty hard working person so maybe our things aren't the same. What I'm identifying with here is the self-conscious inability to focus, anxiety, feeling lost, and anger.

Anyway some helpful exercises:

Memory slipping: stop looking up stuff you can't remember.

Anxiety about focus: if you're worried about being able to focus and are trying to focus it's gonna be hard to get out of that loop and actually focus. Just stop examining yourself. Look outside yourself.

Learn to examine your thought process better and understand what it is you're doing. I've only very recently been able to get out of that unfocused anxiety loop and I think not putting pressure on yourself, latching onto a single thread of thought and allowing it to carry you, and really just humbling the shit outta yourself are what got me out.

Also the proximity of a deadline basically got me cutting all emotional fuckery.
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#24
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