One of my worst was my first for a placement I couldn't show eye contact for some reason(I can now) and stared at the table for the entire interview , safe to say it didn't go well.
Yeah generally speaking you wanna not do that
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
i have never had a job interview because nepotism
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect

Never had one where I wasn't hired but the worst was probably the one where I had to explain how to make a couple of dishes step by step and I mixed the names of the dishes up. So dumb
Quote by Trowzaa
i have never had a job interview because nepotism

Good use of the word of the day
My God, it's full of stars!
I had a group interview where it was immediately apparent that I was underqualified and not even close to being prepared.
Also, not an interview, but I did a really weird online application the other day. Part of it involved recognising these really exaggerated facial expressions. I felt like I was taking a test for autism. It made me wonder what sort of people HR had to deal with that would necessitate such a test.
I want to a plastic cup manufacturing plant to apply for a cup stacker and boxer ad they had out. It said hiring like 50 people. I went in and waited behind a bunch of other applicants to get my initial interview and then be sent to a room to do a couple pages of math problems. I finished it, handed it in, got graded and passed it, then waited behind more people to go back and talk to someone to see if they were interested in me coming back for training. They asked me a few questions about past work experience and asked if I had other skills. I said I had carpentry and auto knowhow. They said they would give me a call. I never heard from them. I think I spent about three hours there that day. I only applied in the first place because my vehicle had shot crap and my real job at the time was 30 minutes away and no way to get there.

oh yeah, I forgot to say that the two people doing the hiring process took a lunch break in the middle of all this too. we were welcome to the vending machines
Last edited by mattedbird at Dec 11, 2016,
I was interviewing for loss prevention position for SEARS once. That was probably the worst one because I didn't even know if I wanted the job. I really couldn't give a straight answer to any of the questions.
I was interviewing for a Technician job an industrial laundromat facility, and before any physical interview took place, I had to do a phone interview. So, on the website to apply, they ask you for your resume/credentials and a time and day (along with your phone number) for the interview; I ended up going an hour after I got out of class on a Wednesday at 2pm.

Coming to the actual day of the interview, I get myself all calm and collected since I hate talking on the phone. I make sure I am reading to take the call at 1:50pm, keep all distractions out of the way, and am ready to go. So, 2pm comes, I get no call, thinking that a minute or so behind would be no big deal. After a bit, I get a bit worried and I'm talking to a friend/classmate on Facebook about this shit before I finally get the call from the HR manager at 2:24pm, TWENTY-FOUR minutes late. I mean, did you get stuck in traffic from the keyboard to the phone? After i get the call, the very first thing she says is "Is now still a good time for the interview?"

I agreed, but on the inside, I was flipping out. Are you for real? You have people set up their appointments for their interviews, you call late, and then ask if it's still a good time? If you already knew who you were going to hire (not me, obviously), you should have at least shown me some decency instead of that shit.
Skip the username, call me Billy
Went into a bank and didn't land the job as CEO because I'm not Jewish
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I've landed the job at every interview I've ever done.

Liking my own post as I take pride in this fact.
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Was asked where I see myself in 10 years, I jokingly said "In the ground"
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Only have had one. Was a near disaster because I had run 5 miles beforehand, and got a bad cramp right in the middle of it. Had to put on a brave face and suffer through the rest of the interview with one of the worst cramps of my life. Got the job
I've only ever had three in my life. None successful, but not because of a poor interview process.

One was at Mc. Donald's and went fairly well, despite the fact the lady had a rough accent that was hard to understand. But I'm pretty sure they gave it to the pissed off guy who came hours before me but was interviewed after me for whatever reason.

Second was at Toyota, where again, everything went well but at the end they basically told me that they didn't want me because I had no prior work experience. Gee. I wonder why.

Last (and probably the worst) was at a joint medical billing / insurance company. I went there for the medical billing part (what I went to school for). It was one of those group things where we all watch a few videos and submit an application on the computer. So I go through all that, and only afterwards do they bother to tell us they're not hiring for medical billers at this point. I don't know why I didn't walk out then and there like the others did, and by the time I'm there for the interview, he could tell I didn't know what I was doing there. But he was kind enough to forward my application to a position there where I would just take phone calls and set appointments or something and eventually could even work at home.
Didn't get that job either though.
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There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Dec 12, 2016,
I interviewed for a job as an insurance salesman.
I didn't really want the job though.

There were several people all there for the same position.

They gave us all a questionnaire to fill out.
One of the questions was "What would be your ideal job and why?"
I answered Batman.
I answered : Because I'm Batman dammit.

And no, I didn't get the job.
Quote by Ablast
Was asked where I see myself in 10 years, I jokingly said "In the ground"

Well, Johnny Rotten did let you join after all, didn't he?
The second interview for the job I've recently been offered. First interview was in London with the Managaing Director - Q&A and a product presentation. That went well. Second interview was a trainwreck though. It was with the Marketing Director in HK, and was to be done over Skype. Unfortunately it's an 8 hour time difference, and I couldn't get the time off work, so not wanting to put the interviewer out, I suggested we do the interview at 5:45am GMT. It meant an hour earlier out of bed, but that's fine.

Except it wasn't. I came down with flu, misheard questions, my dog started barking throughout the call... absolutely feckin' awful. Luckily the MD pushed for a third interview.
mattedbird Consider yourself fortunate! It sounds like a monotonous dump. The personnel department was probably looking for zombies rather than real live people. The salary was likely minimum with no benefits. My guess is that you, mattedbird, are destined for a more rewarding career. Too bad about the 3 rs you lost.
aerosmithfan95When i was doing freelance graphics, I gave the client 20 minutes to see me. That was ample time for leeway. After that, the had to come to see me if they wanted their artwork. Bottom line: time = money.
My candidacy was not considered because I came too soon for a job interview (about 30 min)
Went to group interview for theme park staff when i was like, 17. Seasonal work like. Took exams, took part in team building exercises, had a one on one interview. Was pulled to the side when everyone was walking off. "Are you looking for seasonal?" "I don't have a job currently, so anything is better than nothing" "Okay, we want you to work in the offices, full time, shadowing the buying department and then moving up through there. Do you have your birth certificate?" "No" "We close in 20 minutes, can you go grab it" " I live 40 minutes away" "Oh, well we're closing in 20 on the dot..."

The next suggestion was to send it in the post. Which i declined. Luckily I've never had real issues with employment so I was in work somewhere else soon after.

Also had an interview with a company in the technology sector who had fallen on hard times with the old MD. Hired in a new MD who's known as a "Make or break man" as in if he hasn't got things working within a year, he completely bollocks it up, gets terminated and a settlement. He breaks more than he makes. Mentioned that the new MD had come in during the interview, and what the plan was going forward as customers had complained for years the company only cared about making sales and not the aftersales/account management. The woman asked how I knew. I told her I work in the industry already and it's been in the news. She said the plan was to carry on selling as they were. I asked how my role "Account Manager" is different to their sales execs. Turns out its the same job, I just imagine they think the job title makes potential buyers happier. I think we were both happy I wasn't selected.
Quote by ZanasCross
I'm now so drunk that even if my mom had given me a blow job at aeg 2, i'd be like I'm a pmp, butches.!

If this even madkes sense... if yhou sig this, Iw ll kill you.
shitty party store.

old/middle aged dude with a shaved head and fedora.

asked me a lot of irrelevant/illegal interview questions.

i figured he wasn't gonna give me the job anyway, so i humored him to see just how bad his questions would get.

asked me if i had a driver's license despite the job requiring no driving whatsoever, then proceeded to not let go of the fact that i didn't at the time.

he was also very much interested in how i got along with my mother and why i'd moved out of her house.

i was going to file some kind of report with whatever state/govt agency handles those kind of things, but i decided not to bother.

i met a kid at another job i had that told me he'd also interviewed with the guy and he was trying to have him work under the table without pay for a month.

sure pal, i'm sure you weren't trying to get free labor.
I've only had two job interviews in the last 20 years. Landed both.

Actually,... I've worked for both companies twice in that 20 year period and didn't have to interview the 2nd time with either company.
Quote by Bill43

I wouldn't know an Opeth song from an Egg McMuffin
I applied to this tutoring center for little kids. I was in my first semester highschool of 9th grade when I only knew like basic trig and hardly learnred pre-cal and the basics at that point. The application for the job said I would be tutoring like pre-k to 5th grade kids, so I thought it would be a cake walk if they actually call me in. And they did.

Come interview time, they hand me a huge calculus test (the kind you don't see until your first year of college), a pencil, and say I'll be disqualified if use a calculator. I tried my best and left the interview really embarrassed.

Looking back on it now, it makes sense that they want to hire people with advanced skills to teach, but it doesn't make sense to interview a kid that even wrote on his application that he only knows 9th grade math...
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^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

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I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


I'm generally pretty good in interviews and situations like this. I went for an interview as a Marketing Executive for a larger company, trying to move up from my then current position in a Marketing Secondment. I stormed the initial interview and was feeling like a boss, got great feedback from the recruitment agency and they were convinced I was the forerunner out of all the candidates. They called me back for a second interview and gave me a pretty simple presentation to give, like a final test.

Then me and my then wife had a huge argument, which had been coming for months, and agreed to separate.

Yeah that kind of took the wind out of my sails a little. After going through a few days of misery I called and cancelled the interview. Then on a high point of the immediate emotional rollercoaster which followed I got brave, called them again and asked to reschedule. My heart wasnt in it but I thought that it'd be stupid to waste the opportunity as it'd be a big pay increase.

Tried fairly hard to prepare for the interview but ultimately I went in there with my confidence and self esteem in tatters. They looked at me like I was a different person and I think they could tell that my heart wasn't in it.

Ultimately a good thing as I've got a great job, but that sucked!
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Worst one was where I had to do a roleplay for what i would do if an employee didn't hand in his work in time. Mind you that this was in a large research center... the roleplayer just sat there going " yeah cause I didn't want to do it' ' yeah I just don't care' etc. Apparently suggesting my manager to fire the guy was not the correct end station...
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

The bloke was at me from the start.

He asked me: Why [company name]?

I gave him an answer.

"You've obviously just read that off our website"

"I've been good enough to interview you but you obviously haven't been bothered to look presentable" - I'd shaved the day before so I didn't look like a 12 year old child.

Obviously he wasn't interested in me for the job from the off, but it frustrated me as it was stage 4 of 4 in a process and I'd wasted the previous month with the rest of it.
I had an interview with a man that had a very heavy Mennonite accent. Could not understand anything he said. Had to ask for him to repeat everything. My answers probably made no sense. I didn't get hired, obviously.
I was once hired as a temp for the day being a pretend candidate to train new sales managers in interviewing people.

So it wasn't my real interview but I did have to do it about 10 times in a row
Quote by Maloge
My candidacy was not considered because I came too soon for a job interview (about 30 min)

The porn industry is pretty hard to break into. Keep working on that stamina bud!

I once applied for a 'house-keeping' job at a Nursing Home... went through the interview process only to be told that they couldn't hire me because I was a man. I shit you not. That was the exact reason why they wouldn't hire me. Patriarchy let me down that day. According to them, my dick prohibits me from making beds and pushing a vacuum around. Even though I worked for several years at a mom and pop motel doing the same exact thing.

Not really upset about it though, that was over a decade ago. I have a good job, make decent money, flexible hours, get to see the family pretty often. Can't complain.
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I often conduct mock interviews as part of my job, so I have more horror stories from people who have interviewed poorly with me.

A great one was a 20 year-old who had just finished his Associate's and was looking to get into an Accounting position. I start with the typical "Tell me about yourself" question, and he immediately fucking ruins it. He started talking about how he likes to go online and look at "me-mes" and how he spends most of his free time doing that or playing video games. Since this is a mock interview, I stop him and correct this, hoping that it was just nerves and inexperience. The next question I ask is how he deals with frustrating situations. He fucks that one up even worse.

He says, verbatim, "I fucking hate when that happens. It pisses me off when people are retarded."

Needless to say, I had to have a really long talk with him right then and a few times afterward.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy

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Quote by stargazer1701
mattedbird Consider yourself fortunate! It sounds like a monotonous dump. The personnel department was probably looking for zombies rather than real live people. The salary was likely minimum with no benefits. My guess is that you, mattedbird, are destined for a more rewarding career. Too bad about the 3 rs you lost.

Thanks, I think you're right about that. I think what happened was the company normally used a hiring agency in town and the management got so bad that they couldn't keep employees( probably quitting in droves) and the hiring agency couldn't even deal with them anymore. I know for sure they weren't ready for the number of people to show up for positions. They probably thought 20 or so people would show. Not even close.
I've had a few over the years. the one that comes to mind the most is one I had about 15 years ago. went in and the guy started off the interview by stating he was the "biggest fucking asshole you'll ever meet". he wasn't but in top 5 probably. commented that that didn't seem like a proper way to start but he didn't care. he took me around and told me several times that I'd have to kiss his ass to be allowed to make any decisions (I'm not kidding) and that he didn't think anyone was capable anyways. one of his people came and asked him a ? that he couldn't answer at all. I knew the answer and gave it in detail.(I was right). really pissed the guy off. he stopped there and said something about why the hell would he hire me. I told him that he wouldn't cuz I'd replace him in about a month if he did. didn't get the job but at that point I didn't want it anyways.
Quote by k.lainad

Come interview time, they hand me a huge calculus test (the kind you don't see until your first year of college), a pencil, and say I'll be disqualified if use a calculator. I tried my best and left the interview really embarrassed.

Looking back on it now, it makes sense that they want to hire people with advanced skills to teach, but it doesn't make sense to interview a kid that even wrote on his application that he only knows 9th grade math...
I didn't even know employers used this method of screening unless it was some high tech job. Must be a way of knowing whether or not the person will realize they know they can do better after two weeks of working there. The whole time I was taking my test I was thinking WTF

I've also had an interview where the guy seem surprised half way though the interview that I had a felony and said they could hire me. The box was checked there right at the bottom of the page. Why did I drive here to sit and talk to you?
Last edited by mattedbird at Dec 12, 2016,