#2
this thread (Horrible jokes you'll go to hell for telling..) was hilarious back in the day.. so many great jokes, many of them racist.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=430688&page=111
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#3
An Irishman walks out of a bar
A jew donates to a charity
A white guy isn't racist
Check out my band Disturbed
#4
Quote by k.lainad
this thread (Horrible jokes you'll go to hell for telling..) was hilarious back in the day.. so many great jokes, many of them racist.
Damn... Looks like I'm three years too late. Make that ten...
Last edited by TROUnation at Dec 14, 2016,
#5
Why is Terry Richardson a republican?

He only cares about people with white backgrounds

(sorry this is as close as I get)
Praise the Z-Dog, my DADDY
#6
What do you call a black person riding a bike?

A bicyclist, you fucking racist.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy
Quote by The_Blode
^ I'm sorry your highness I forgot that I'm subhuman. . .

Quote by ErikLensherr
Normani
Normani
Normies
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#7
Quote by zgr0826
What do you call a black person riding a bike?

A bicyclist, you fucking racist.

I was gonna say exercising
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#8
Quote by zgr0826
What do you call a black person riding a bike?

A bicyclist, you fucking racist.
Wouldn't you just call them cunts, like anyone else who rides a bike?
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#9
Quote by zgr0826
What do you call a black person riding a bike?

A bicyclist, you fucking racist.
who says bicyclist it's cyclist
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Youre officially uber shit now.

Quote by StewieSwan
3d9310rd is far more upset than i 
#10
Went up to a whooty and told her that she thicker than the racial divide in America
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#12
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Wouldn't you just call them cunts, like anyone else who rides a bike?

But I ride a bike?
...
Oh right, good point
#14
Women's rights

*zing*
"Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic, or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things."
-Douglas Adams
#15
Quote by K'Nuckles
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?


Quarter pounder with cheese


Have you ever had Ethiopian food?


No?


Neither have they!


Ha Ha
Check out my band Disturbed
#16
A husband and a wife have an unhappy marriage and the husband is sure his wife is cheating on him.

He belives that she is cheating with a black coworker.

He confronts her about this and she asks for proof.

He says that he saw one of her tampons in the trash and all the cotton had been picked

Wah hey
#17
Quote by StewieSwan
A white guy isn't racist
"I'm proud to be black", said the black man.
"I'm proud to be gay", said the gay man.
"I'm proud to be white", said the racist.

Quote by K'Nuckles
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?


Quarter pounder with cheese
Jesus Christ dude I'm eating here
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Pink Floyd


#Ziggy2017
Last edited by Wolfinator-x at Dec 14, 2016,
#18
So a white guy walks into a public building and starts shooting people.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#19
How do you fit 55 jews in a Volkswagen Beetle?

Two in the front, three in the back and the rest in the ashtray.
#20
Why do black people wear big trousers?


because their knee-grows
#21
Why did the redneck cross the road?


'Cause he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#22
Why are there no Mexicans in Star Trek?

Because they don't work in the future either
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#23
When it comes to TV channels, English men are usually featured on English channels. The Chinese on Chinese channels. The Koreans on a Korean channel. Japanese on Japanese channels. And so on. Till we arrive at the Blacks. What channels are the Blacks featured on?

The crime channel.
#25
Quote by davidjesson97
When it comes to TV channels, English men are usually featured on English channels. The Chinese on Chinese channels. The Koreans on a Korean channel. Japanese on Japanese channels. And so on. Till we arrive at the Blacks. What channels are the Blacks featured on?

The crime channel.
Ah yes, the five nationalities: English, Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Black.
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Youre officially uber shit now.

Quote by StewieSwan
3d9310rd is far more upset than i 
#26
So a black guy dies and goes to heaven, and god gives him wings.

Seeing these wings,the black man is astonished, and joyfully says, with tears of happiness in his eyes: "Wow God, am I an angel now?"


And God replies: "No, you're a bat"
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#27
A brown man blows up a building because of religious extremism.
A white man blows up a building because he has nothing better to do.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#28
i once saw two prepubescent Asian kids driving a car around a movie theater parking lot.

racist? idk. joke? not really, but i nearly drove over one of those concrete parking barriers because i couldn't believe what i was seeing.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#29
Did you hear about the Palestinian defensive lineman the Dallas Cowboys just signed?

He really explodes off the line of scrimmage.
#30
What do black people and women have in common?


The both think they have equal rights.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#31
How do you starve a BLM protester?

Hide their welfare check in their work boots!
'16 Gibson LP Standard T, '95 Fender MIM Strat
Helix Rack, Jetcity JCA50H w/ JCA24s+
#32
Quote by TobusRex
Did you hear about the Palestinian defensive lineman the Dallas Cowboys just signed?

He really explodes off the line of scrimmage.


I can't wait until Phil Simms says that Jihad Ward (actual football player in Oakland) blew up a play.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#33
There was a Polish couple that had just been married, and just when they were about to consumate it at their hotel suite, the bride found out to her horror that the groom knew nothing in the slightest about how the perform the act of sex.

The bride said, "Just take that thing you like to play with and put it where I pee."

So the groom grabbed his bowling ball and threw it in the sink.
#35
two muslims walk into a bar, the bartender says what can I get you boys, and the bar blows up.
#36
why do pill bottles have cotton balls in them?


to remind black people they were cotton pickers before drug dealers
#37
Chinaman goes to an eye doctor, the eye doctor says "I know why you can't see" Chinaman says "why?" Doctor says "you have a cadderact" Chinaman says "No, I drive a Rincoln Continental.."
Quote by Overlord
It's not hard to be nice, but it's nice to be hard
Last edited by Carnivean at Dec 22, 2016,
#40
I had a great great great grandfather who would announce himself as follows:

"I'm John Cornelius Nichodemus, king of the Jews and ruler of all niggers"

Not a joke, just a little fun fact about my racist-ass ancestry.
I'm just a kickin' and a gougin' in the mud and the blood and the beer.