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#1
I am struggling with the concept of being happy.

When are the happiest times in my life? When I'm with my friends, or a significant other. Does that mean other activities are not fun or don't bring me happiness? No, I love listening to music and playing games and going for walks and other stuff on my own, it's important, but it obviously isn't as good as spending time with other people. But the problem with other people is that they're not constant. People move away, have jobs, have significant others, and prioritise other things over you, just as you prioritise other things over them. So how can you draw happiness from other people when they're in flux the whole time?

It's the paradox of societies idea of "don't rely on others for happiness" when the entire concept of a normally happy person is one who has many friends and a happy relationship. How do you exist not relying on others for happiness and gaining it from within yourself if human nature is decided by social interactions?

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#2
happiness is watching the people you hate suffer.

mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#5
The Pit without ETR
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#6
here is what i think the problem is. i think our happiest moments are when we are completely void of thought or analysis & just being THERE, as a living thing, being 100% sensitive to everything around you. i strongly believe that most of unhappiness comes from a fundamental conflict: you are stuck thinking about things in the past and the future, and its place in your life.

the concept of someone is 'happy' being 'one who has many friends and a happy relationship' is just entirely wrong unfortunately. being happy is a momentary thing just like being sad. don't worry about what happiness IS, this will achieve nothing.

be the best person you can be. also, im not one to point to a book/video instead of explain myself, but the book 'wisdom of insecurity' by alan watts in my opinion accurately depicts more than anything How To Be Happy. no self-help book will ever reach the climax this beautiful book reaches and teaches. it says what i have failed to express in this post
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#7
There is no such thing as happiness. It is a myth made up by delusional people who have not yet realised what a cold, dark and miserable place the world truly is.

I have nothing important to say
#8
Happiness is videos of bears scratching their backs against trees.
My old signature was too long. Have a daisy.

#9
Quote by EndTheRapture51
But the problem with other people is that they're not constant. People move away, have jobs, have significant others, and prioritise other things over you, just as you prioritise other things over them. So how can you draw happiness from other people when they're in flux the whole time?


Usually you find one who has some free time to hang with you and then you do something fun together.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#10
Quote by Victory2134
Usually you find one who has some free time to hang with you and then you do something fun together.


no fucking shit mate.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#11
Quote by EndTheRapture51
no fucking shit mate.


You're the one who asked the stupid question.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#12
Quote by Victory2134
You're the one who asked the stupid question.


fuck off vic you're not funny and you're not clever.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#13
i would never rely on a fixed set of people to be honest. i'm guessing that's what victory meant. you have the potential to connect with billions of people on earth, people are not constant but you can lways find some people to make you happy, you just need to be willing to
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#14
Quote by EndTheRapture51
fuck off vic you're not funny and you're not clever.


I'm not trying to be either, you asked a dumb question and I answered it because I thought you were sincere.

Now I don't really know why you asked it if you already knew the answer to it.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#15
Quote by laid-to-waste
here is what i think the problem is. i think our happiest moments are when we are completely void of thought or analysis & just being THERE, as a living thing, being 100% sensitive to everything around you. i strongly believe that most of unhappiness comes from a fundamental conflict: you are stuck thinking about things in the past and the future, and its place in your life.

the concept of someone is 'happy' being 'one who has many friends and a happy relationship' is just entirely wrong unfortunately. being happy is a momentary thing just like being sad. don't worry about what happiness IS, this will achieve nothing.

be the best person you can be. also, im not one to point to a book/video instead of explain myself, but the book 'wisdom of insecurity' by alan watts in my opinion accurately depicts more than anything How To Be Happy. no self-help book will ever reach the climax this beautiful book reaches and teaches. it says what i have failed to express in this post

i guess i must be having fun




#16
Quote by Victory2134
I'm not trying to be either, you asked a dumb question and I answered it because I thought you were sincere.

Now I don't really know why you asked it if you already knew the answer to it.


It's ETR. If he isn't having a hissy fit in the pit, it isn't ETR.


Quote by EndTheRapture51
fuck off vic you're not funny and you're not clever.


Irony.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#17
Quote by Victory2134
I'm not trying to be either, you asked a dumb question and I answered it because I thought you were sincere.

Now I don't really know why you asked it if you already knew the answer to it.


your answer is analogous to telling a thirsty person in the desert to just go and get some water from the tap. don't bother quoting back if you have nothing constructive to add.

Quote by laid-to-waste
i would never rely on a fixed set of people to be honest. i'm guessing that's what victory meant. you have the potential to connect with billions of people on earth, people are not constant but you can lways find some people to make you happy, you just need to be willing to


infinite friends or friends that can drop everything to be with you aren't feasible tho, and as you grow up friends become rarer and time becomes more scarce especially as people pair up with each other and spend time on romantic relationships getting more serious instead of just their friends. if humans are social creatures then if you can't find a partner, are you destined to eternally be unhappy? having people that can make you happy like that is nice as a concept but in practise it doesn't work.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#18
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
It's ETR. If he isn't having a hissy fit in the pit, it isn't ETR.


check your PMs i want to discuss something with you in private mate.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#19
Oh god, time to read 5 paragraphs I have no interest in reading.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#20
don't read it then.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#22
Quote by EndTheRapture51
your answer is analogous to telling a thirsty person in the desert to just go and get some water from the tap. don't bother quoting back if you have nothing constructive to add.


What? You don't have any friends that do fun stuff with you? If not then go out and make some. Or make some here. It's not analogous to telling someone in a desert to get water from the tap, it's analogous to telling someone living in a lake to open their mouths and drink it already instead of thinking about why it's so hard to find water in a desert.

I absolutely guarantee you that if you talk to people you see, random people on the street even, you'll find someone who is willing to be your friend and do fun stuff with you sometimes.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#23
Quote by EndTheRapture51
infinite friends or friends that can drop everything to be with you aren't feasible tho, and as you grow up friends become rarer and time becomes more scarce especially as people pair up with each other and spend time on romantic relationships getting more serious instead of just their friends. if humans are social creatures then if you can't find a partner, are you destined to eternally be unhappy? having people that can make you happy like that is nice as a concept but in practise it doesn't work.
i don't know about getting older cos i'm 21 but i do know that you definitely can't rely on people to be happy in general. you should rely on the sun... nature, the night sky, trees, fresh air, music, passions (art, guitar, mathematics, whatever), love and occasionally human connection, you know? like, why worry about other people? there's a lot out there. i know it's hard to see sometimes though.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#24
cumming in a hot girl with no condom and no fear of a baby
Check out my band Disturbed
#25
Money = happiness
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#26
Quote by laid-to-waste
i don't know about getting older cos i'm 21 but i do know that you definitely can't rely on people to be happy in general. you should rely on the sun... nature, the night sky, trees, fresh air, music, passions (art, guitar, mathematics, whatever), love and occasionally human connection, you know? like, why worry about other people? there's a lot out there. i know it's hard to see sometimes though.


thanks for actually be willing to engage instead of being sarcastic and taking cheap pot shots at a person.

you need other things to make you happy and fill in life, but those things are rarely enjoyed in solitude. think about any of those activities you mentioned and think about how people engage in them - they do them with other people

nature, the night sky, trees, fresh air - people meet up together and go on walks, hikes etc. seeing amazing views is something that is great and can be great on your own but if you have no one who cares to listen to the experience, it's good for you but sharing it with someone else is just so much better
same with music and art - people go to art galleries together, people join bands to play with others, people release their own music to bring joy to others, not just themselves
love and human connection go without saying

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#27
Do what you like to do that is happiness for me

Fortunately I like being alone

Could be an illusion though

That would be interesting
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#29
I hate getting involved in other people's personal lives. I won't even do it to my closest friends, much less a stranger like you. But I'm going to do it anyway.

Your problem is that you're extremely insecure. You define yourself and your happiness based on your interactions with other people. I end up hurting your feelings even if I'm not actually trying to insult you. You have an issue with people not texting you back right away. If your friends won't make time for you, sometimes I feel you're gonna cry your eyes out. Happiness is subjective. Sure, people are social creatures, but not everyone derives their happiness from social interactions, certainly not exclusively so. I'm not gonna tell you that you have to change who you are and where you find meaning in life, but you're gonna be miserable if you carry your dependency issues further.

It's very reductive of you to boil down happiness to human interactions. I, like many others, find happiness in things that don't involve other people. My girlfriend, friends, co-workers, and family members all have learned to give me more space than they would for most other people, and I consider myself a happy person. There are stretches of time when I don't some of my friends at all. Twice, it was an interim of a year that I hadn't seen some of my closest friends. I reconnected with a few friends recently (and individually- it's not like it was a group of friends) whom I haven't spoken to for years. And while you may be thinking of yourself how I could possibly consider these relationships to be friendships, well, that's your problem- you extrapolate your ideas of friendship/relationships/happiness to others. While I value these relationships, I don't let them decide my happiness. I have hobbies, achievements, and things to pursue of my own that fulfill me.
Free Ali
Free Lard
#30
Quote by chrismendiola
I hate getting involved in other people's personal lives. I won't even do it to my closest friends, much less a stranger like you. But I'm going to do it anyway.

Your problem is that you're extremely insecure. You define yourself and your happiness based on your interactions with other people. I end up hurting your feelings even if I'm not actually trying to insult you. You have an issue with people not texting you back right away. If your friends won't make time for you, sometimes I feel you're gonna cry your eyes out. Happiness is subjective. Sure, people are social creatures, but not everyone derives their happiness from social interactions, certainly not exclusively so. I'm not gonna tell you that you have to change who you are and where you find meaning in life, but you're gonna be miserable if you carry your dependency issues further.

It's very reductive of you to boil down happiness to human interactions. I, like many others, find happiness in things that don't involve other people. My girlfriend, friends, co-workers, and family members all have learned to give me more space than they would for most other people, and I consider myself a happy person. There are stretches of time when I don't some of my friends at all. Twice, it was an interim of a year that I hadn't seen some of my closest friends. I reconnected with a few friends recently (and individually- it's not like it was a group of friends) whom I haven't spoken to for years. And while you may be thinking of yourself how I could possibly consider these relationships to be friendships, well, that's your problem- you extrapolate your ideas of friendship/relationships/happiness to others. While I value these relationships, I don't let them decide my happiness. I have hobbies, achievements, and things to pursue of my own that fulfill me.


nailed it
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#31
yelling BINGO!
Quote by Bill43


I wouldn't know an Opeth song from an Egg McMuffin
#32
Quote by EndTheRapture51

nature, the night sky, trees, fresh air - people meet up together and go on walks, hikes etc. seeing amazing views is something that is great and can be great on your own but if you have no one who cares to listen to the experience, it's good for you but sharing it with someone else is just so much better

It's different for everyone, some people are perfectly fine doing that kind of stuff on their own. Except maybe that one guy who fell off a cliff and had to amputate his own arm.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#33
Happiness is a temporary byproduct of living a good life. One aspect of having a good life is having people to socialise with, and any good social event is an achievement, so it makes sense that you would derive a lot of happiness from being around others.

Quote by EndTheRapture51

nature, the night sky, trees, fresh air - people meet up together and go on walks, hikes etc. seeing amazing views is something that is great and can be great on your own but if you have no one who cares to listen to the experience, it's good for you but sharing it with someone else is just so much better

I think this is due to you being relatively extroverted, but it does hold some truth for me too. I don't need to share these experiences directly, I often have very profound experiences on my own. But I'll need to at some point put the feelings and thoughts caused by those experiences back into the social sphere. To be able to share your experience in some way is essential.
Last edited by korinaflyingv at Dec 15, 2016,
#34
Can't hermits be happy
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#35
Quote by EndTheRapture51
thanks for actually be willing to engage instead of being sarcastic and taking cheap pot shots at a person.

you need other things to make you happy and fill in life, but those things are rarely enjoyed in solitude. think about any of those activities you mentioned and think about how people engage in them - they do them with other people

nature, the night sky, trees, fresh air - people meet up together and go on walks, hikes etc. seeing amazing views is something that is great and can be great on your own but if you have no one who cares to listen to the experience, it's good for you but sharing it with someone else is just so much better
same with music and art - people go to art galleries together, people join bands to play with others, people release their own music to bring joy to others, not just themselves
love and human connection go without saying
its cool man it's a good question, questions like 'what's the meaning of life' i never bother with, but things like this are the more important questions

i do agree that sharing things is really good and things may seem empty without the sharing part. but it's still possible to be happy without relying on people.. i say this because this year, i decided to move to scotland to get a msc in maths & i found a place miles out from st andrews in the middle of loads of farms, where there are no people other than 1 hotel. i have been living alone for the last month since my housemate dropped out of his comp science degree, but im currently happy. it was shit a lot, because i come home to a cold dark house and i felt alone, but it has also been awesome a lot.. i'm here to do maths and i've been loving that part.

i love living out in the farms, i love the massive feeling i get when i wait for the bus, looking out into the sunrise across like 6 miles of farms. occasionally i speak to some people on my course or say hello and smile and them, even talking to a lecturer (which i do a lot) about maths has been a big part of human connection for me. i only have like one-three close friends here, and they're all new, but i'm happy. i just finished my 3rd and final exam and now im just chillin & vaping in the middle of nowhere, listening to music, knowing that i feel like i did well on all 3 exams. most things that made me happy today have nothing to do with reliance on other people, which is the motivation for what im saying.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
Last edited by laid-to-waste at Dec 15, 2016,
#36
Quote by laid-to-waste
its cool man it's a good question, questions like 'what's the meaning of life' i never bother with, but things like this are the more important questions

i do agree that sharing things is really good and things may seem empty without the sharing part. but it's still possible to be happy without relying on people.. i say this because this year, i decided to move to scotland to get a msc in maths & i found a place miles out from st andrews in the middle of loads of farms, where there are no people other than 1 hotel. i have been living alone for the last month since my housemate dropped out of his comp science degree, but im currently happy. it was shit a lot, because i come home to a cold dark house and i felt alone, but it has also been awesome a lot.. i'm here to do maths and i've been loving that part.

i love living out in the farms, i love the massive feeling i get when i wait for the bus, looking out into the sunrise across like 6 miles of farms. occasionally i speak to some people on my course or say hello and smile and them, even talking to a lecturer (which i do a lot) about maths has been a big part of human connection for me. i only have like one-three close friends here, and they're all new, but i'm happy. i just finished my 3rd and final exam and now im just chillin & vaping in the middle of nowhere, listening to music, knowing that i feel like i did well on all 3 exams. most things that made me happy today have nothing to do with reliance on other people, which is the motivation for what im saying.

Whilst I can't argue with you deriving pleasure from solitary activities, I would guess that without the, albeit small, level of human contact you have, you wouldn't be anywhere near as happy.
#37
Quote by korinaflyingv
Whilst I can't argue with you deriving pleasure from solitary activities, I would guess that without the, albeit small, level of human contact you have, you wouldn't be anywhere near as happy.
yeah i agree... however that agrees with my point; the human connections i've made are new. i've met all the people i have spent the last 4 months in the last 4 months, so even though people change and you can't always rely on people for happiness, you can always find some form of human connection, it doesn't have to be the 'person you rely on who may let you down at some point and therefore deprive you of happiness' person
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#38
My dick in a girl's butt
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#39
Quote by chrismendiola
I hate getting involved in other people's personal lives. I won't even do it to my closest friends, much less a stranger like you. But I'm going to do it anyway.

Your problem is that you're extremely insecure. You define yourself and your happiness based on your interactions with other people. I end up hurting your feelings even if I'm not actually trying to insult you. You have an issue with people not texting you back right away. If your friends won't make time for you, sometimes I feel you're gonna cry your eyes out. Happiness is subjective. Sure, people are social creatures, but not everyone derives their happiness from social interactions, certainly not exclusively so. I'm not gonna tell you that you have to change who you are and where you find meaning in life, but you're gonna be miserable if you carry your dependency issues further.

It's very reductive of you to boil down happiness to human interactions. I, like many others, find happiness in things that don't involve other people. My girlfriend, friends, co-workers, and family members all have learned to give me more space than they would for most other people, and I consider myself a happy person. There are stretches of time when I don't some of my friends at all. Twice, it was an interim of a year that I hadn't seen some of my closest friends. I reconnected with a few friends recently (and individually- it's not like it was a group of friends) whom I haven't spoken to for years. And while you may be thinking of yourself how I could possibly consider these relationships to be friendships, well, that's your problem- you extrapolate your ideas of friendship/relationships/happiness to others. While I value these relationships, I don't let them decide my happiness. I have hobbies, achievements, and things to pursue of my own that fulfill me.


i also have issues with severe anxiety which don't really help things but

if we're going to be frank here which is good (thanks for being respectful at least, and this is psychoanalysis from someone i dont tihnk is trained in psychoanylsis and only sees my limited interactions with a few people on an internet forum) then i am going to say a few things because you're being reductive. personally im in a weird place where i have insecurities but in weird places. appearance wise i'm happy with myself, i like my interests, my hobbies, my job, and my living situation. i'm confident at work and i have fucking smashed my personal goals this year - relearned driving, bought my own car, and am getting the pay rise i wanted. i live an extremely functional life and i'm happy with myself as a person. i can go months not seeing some of my mates and it's fine because that's just life.

do i hate being alone? no, i like being alone. it's something i require every day to just sit down and have some time to collect myself. it's probably one of my biggest flaws but i need it, and i'm used to it. i can often be incredibly happy in my loneliness when i've got something to do, but

but then you see other friends you value drift away and there's nothing you can really DO about it. people get boyfriends and girlfriends and they get engaged and move in together and that's a fact of life. you see people who you were close with and people who say they are always there for you, drift away, and they're not always there for you. they're still your mates but you're not a close knit group of brothers and sisters, they have someone else, and you don't. it's not hard to see why that is tough?

i have hobbies, tons of them. i bike, i draw, i play guitar, i listen to music. those things are always better when you're doing it with or for someone else though. i feel proud when i finish a drawing that's good, i enjoy it when i'm putting brush to paper, but i feel happy when i wrap it up and frame it and give it to a friend to put on their bedroom wall.

it's hard to vocalise and maybe it insecurity or the fact i feel marginalised or second best or no ones priority but my parents. but i think everyone's different. i know that i enjoy doing things better with other people, so i find that entire "don't rely on others to make you happy" a paradox - other people are not my entire happiness, but if i suddenly had no friends or family, or if you suddenly had no friends or family, wouldn't a huge portion of your happiness be gone?

also if there's any snarky response to this i will kill whoever makes it.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#40
Quote by laid-to-waste
yeah i agree... however that agrees with my point; the human connections i've made are new. i've met all the people i have spent the last 4 months in the last 4 months, so even though people change and you can't always rely on people for happiness, you can always find some form of human connection, it doesn't have to be the 'person you rely on who may let you down at some point and therefore deprive you of happiness' person

Sure yeah, I did mean to make that distinction in response to ETR's post but I forgot. It's a very important distinction. I thought you were making a different claim.
Last edited by korinaflyingv at Dec 15, 2016,
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