Page 1 of 2
#1
So! I am in a bit of a pickle! Need some money for rent, got laid off last month, and I found a new job but I don't start work until later this month. So what advice do you UGers have for me?!? Should I resort to prostitution?! Should I become a drug dealer?! What to do?!?

*EDIT* I made this for fun to see what wacky things you guys come up with, I more or less have things figured out. So have at it

**UPDATE** Selling my soul to whomever, $316.43
Xbox Live: DeSquared94
PSN: desquared94
Last edited by Ablast at Jan 3, 2017,
#2
Gigolo
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#3
I mean you could offer some home services like cutting yards or trimming hedges or painting etc. but that's not very whacky. Sorry I'm not witty enough for your thread.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#4
Betting.

I made €700 from €15 with 2 bets over the past 4 days. It's pretty easy if you do it right
#5
Sell things you never knew you didn't need
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#8
you could always pluck ducks..............
Wise man once said, " If you ever get lost in the woods, just start jacking off someone will see you."
#9
Convert thousands of guitar tabs to ukulele tabs and upload them. Win free guitar. Sell it on ebay.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#10
Quote by sam b
Betting.

I made €700 from €15 with 2 bets over the past 4 days. It's pretty easy if you do it right

tell me more
#15
Quote by laid-to-waste
you forgot about

6. sell your house you spend all your time betting now anyway

if you're weak, yeah
#16
Kmfdm says you can make 200 in just one day by selling drugs to the kids. Then idk clean some gutters.
#18
Quote by sam b
1. go here http://www.bet365.com/
2. make money

do you do matched betting or do you just bet on a certain outcome? what sports do you bet on? if you have some kind of crystal ball i'll give you 10% of my profits if you tell me what to bet on.
#19
Quote by kalypto
do you do matched betting or do you just bet on a certain outcome? what sports do you bet on? if you have some kind of crystal ball i'll give you 10% of my profits if you tell me what to bet on.

football, usually €5-10 on 3/4/5 team accumulators with the odd 50c-€1 on a 10-14 team accumulator that never wins just for a laugh (though I won €1.7k on one in December and just yesterday was only 1 game away from €2k < / 3)

Never tried matched betting. Looked into it once but it seems too much hassle when I do fine the.. normal way
#21
Plant tulips

Be sure to wear some knee pads.
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

#22
Start bidding on DealDash™ Now!

I got this tablet for only $20*!

*Price of bids not included
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#24
Quote by sam b
football, usually €5-10 on 3/4/5 team accumulators with the odd 50c-€1 on a 10-14 team accumulator that never wins just for a laugh (though I won €1.7k on one in December and just yesterday was only 1 game away from €2k < / 3)

Never tried matched betting. Looked into it once but it seems too much hassle when I do fine the.. normal way

i don't know much about football though so i wouldn't know where to start really
#25
Quote by kalypto
i don't know much about football though so i wouldn't know where to start really

Just bet on a few random "big" teams (Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal, Man Utd, Liverpool, Tottenham, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid, Bayern Munich, PSG) as long as they're not playing each other and you probably can't go too wrong

edit: don't take my word for that, it sounds good in theory but with betting (on football at least) you sometimes need to look into stuff a bit more.

As an example of this, what I just said and games tonight, you could win ~€70 from €20 tonight on Arsenal, Atletico Madrid & Porto. I'm not putting that bet on, but curious to see if it'd work
Last edited by sam b at Jan 3, 2017,
#28
You could pleasure 30 large women at $10 a pop or 10 really large women at $30 a pop.
#29
Quote by maxdonk
You could pleasure 30 large women at $10 a pop or 10 really large women at $30 a pop.

Or find some men, they will sometime pay more
#30
Quote by Nerdbiscuit
Or find some men, they will sometime pay more

how much are you offering him?
#32
well, if it were summer you could find a small town and break into a swimming pool. small towns typically lack cameras/security measures.

i've done that a couple of times lmao, a clothes hanger or a strong, slightly pliable piece of bent metal that fits between the door and the frame. metal works better if the long side of the latch is away from you. clothes hanger if it's the reverse. clothes hanger's slightly trickier though. also there needs to be a space between the door/frame you wedged it in. that means none of that padding shit either, however you can just tear it off but fuck- might as well break down the fucking door or a window while your at it (laaaaame).

it's basically the extended version of the credit card trick. if there's a deadbolt your screwed tho unless you can lockpick. that shit's tough though.

(i am not responsible for the use of the information provided here or any felonies you may acquire in the process)
#33
So how does breaking into a swimming pool turn into $300? Inquiring minds...
"Your sound is in your hands as much as anything. It's the way you pick, and the way you hold the guitar, more than it is the amp or the guitar you use." -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

"Anybody can play. The note is only 20 percent. The attitude of the motherfucker who plays it is 80 percent." -- Miles Davis

Guthrie on tone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmohdG9lLqY
Last edited by Cajundaddy at Jan 3, 2017,
#34
would you make a doable rentboy?
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#35
Sell your organs. I've got a Hammond taking up space in my living room.
Free Ali
Free Lard
#37
Cajundaddy

season pass cash. just hope it's not checks, or that they cleared out their safe boxes (if they have one, which is what you hope for) or w/e. if you can break in without any signs of entry they'll just think some employee copied a key and did it (know this for a fact from a newspaper article lmao).

alternatively, you could just steal all the candy (bring an industrial-sized garbage bag) and sell it cheap to the kiddies/teens. be careful though, small town talk and such. preferably sell it in a different location. concession stands are great for that sort of stuff too.

in all honesty, i don't really advocate stealing b/c i've been caught doing it and it sucks, haven't done it for years since and never will again. but if it's between that or being homeless, well....

edit: didn't see the thread edit lmao
Last edited by Dregen at Jan 3, 2017,
#39
Find an abandoned home in the country, rip all the copper & steel pipes out of that bitch, sell it to a scrap yard.
Some see the glass half full, others see the glass half empty. Me? I see that the glass is refillable.
#40
you could always sell your virginity
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



Page 1 of 2