#1
Well, Who Are You To Judge Me, You're Dead

[Fast & angry]


[Verse 1]
Are you saying you think, I should have spoken my mind
Are you saying that you, would have done so in time
[Verse 2]
Are you saying you think, I should have changed my ways
Are you saying that I, put you in your grave?
[Chorus]
Well, who are you to judge me |(hit 2 3 ) You're | dead!

[Verse 3]
Are you thinking maybe, I waited too long
Are you saying it's wrong, to put you in this song?
[Chorus]
Well, who are you to judge me |(hit 2 3 ) You're | dead!

[Short Guitar Solo]

[Refrain]
I thought I knew you, I
thought you were someone that I could trust
You can't share secrets, just be-
cause you've died and gone and turned to dust

[Verse 2 - again]
Are you saying you think, I should have changed my ways
Are you saying that I, put you in your grave?
[Chorus]
Well, who are you to judge me |(hit 2 3 ) You're | dead!
You're dead!
You’re dead! (repeat and fade)
#2
focus more on the specific aspects: what you should've spoken your mind about, why/what you waited for, what those secrets are. and i don't always mean in a literal sense per se, you could douse the secrets and all of these other elements in metaphor to obfuscate them if you're not too comfortable exposing them. or introduce part of a situation that implies the action done (which you're already doing, but flesh out the situation a bit more, basically).

but also, vagueness is nice sometimes because it makes the song more approachable to an audience/respectable to the antagonist of the song. so note that when i crit songs, that i kind of have troubles differentiating between an "acceptable" level of vagueness. and in especially short/fast songs, the meaning needs to be communicated quickly.

i like rhyming ways with grave, you focus more on the vowel sound than making the words rhyme exactly, which i think is the key to writing with a rhyme scheme (i'm just blabbing though, i typically don't write with rhymes or song structure). experiment more with that later and i think you'll see fantastic results and more fluidity in your writing.

in a song context, i think it would work well in a punk style song. maybe thrash or something as well, although i'm less experienced w/ that genre.

thank you for all of the feedback, it is appreciated.
Last edited by Dregen at Jan 8, 2017,
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