#2
That's the limpest first post I've ever seen
Quote by SleepTalkinMan
"Ooh! Straight-jackets online! Christmas sorted."
#3
I was sitting in the waiting area about to get my hair cut, and there was this lady with her like 2 year old kid, and the kid was getting his hair cut. The kid started crying really bad, like screaming and yelling, I felt kinda bad at first, but then the kid started squirming in his high chair and the barber accidentally shaved off a huge chunk of hair off the kids head and the mother was like "OH MY?!", then the kid started crying even more loudly. I couldn't control myself when I saw what just went down and started laughing. I wasn't the only one laughing, so were the other hairdressers and people sitting in the waiting area, still feel sorry for that kid lol.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#4
It was in the middle of an engineering lecture when this one guy that was always annoying the teachers and his cohort and almost everyone that came in contact with him was finally yelled at by the nicest teacher we had, who was a 74 year old dude that was extremely patient.

Runner up was in the middle of English in Year 12 and my mate had this image on his Facebook feed:
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#6
at a skatepark. laughing at a kid who was riding his board weird and managed to somehow slam his shins into a box. (hard to describe how it actually happened)

some dude in a Trivium shirt with clown/mime eye makeup hot mad and wanted to fight me and a friend in the parking lot.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#7
One of my jobs is to sit in Court and control when cases are called and so forth.

Laughing at a joke someone sent you during the domestic violence cases is never a good idea......
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#8
When my wife and I got married, in the basement of the county courthouse, we both started laughing. Dunno why.
11 years later, neither of us were laughing at much of anything.
She is now an ex-wife.
#9
During someone else's speech in class. I really didn't want to laugh (and I struggled so hard not to) but damn, her English was extremely awful. Sounded like someone at their deathbed.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#10
when my high school principal said to our entire class in regards to a desk covered in cartoon penises, "can i ask you a rhetorical question? who drew the penises on the desk?"
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#11
When I was telling my mom and sister about how i was playing paintball and some 8 year old took off his mask in the middle of the game and got his eye shot out. Mainly because it reminded me of The Christmas Story, partly because i deal with horrifying situations through humor.
Too many motards...
#13
I laughed when my friend broke his ankle riding off the back pegs of another buddy's bike. Another time a buddy taped 2 bottles of OE in each hand, got drunk, had to itch, forgot he had the bottles and smacked his head with them in an attempt to scratch his itch. I also laughed at that.


I also laugh at dramas cause a lot of them are pro wrestling levels of cringe and I can't take 'em serious.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#14
Also I laughed while watching Straight Outta Compton when the doctor told that one guy that he got AIDS.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#16
One time when they did the luminaria thing at Relay for Life the a cappella group sang that Sarah McLachlan song from the ASPCA commercial. I used to use that song for parody PSAs so I almost lost it. Kind of laughed a little but not super loud.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#17
Funeral for one of my mum's friends, aunty Christy. The organist kept on messing up the hymms and I (and my friends) kept on thinking on all the funny things that had happened with her.
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#18
I probably win. Bus of handicapped kids drove by and the kids were leaning against the windows making faces, not sure if they were doing it on purpose or just bad timing but it cracked me up as I was completely day dreaming and a dozen or so faces popped right into view all making unexpected expressions. Trying to tell the story to my friends they just thought I was a dbag.
Last edited by farcry at Jan 31, 2017,
#19
just remembered the one old lady who sang when i still went to church in my hometown.

every sunday.

she had one of those shriek-y crow-like old lady voices and if my mom wasn't dragging my brother and i out for fighting, it was because i was laughing at the old lady because we'd ended up sitting too close to her.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#20
Probably sometime last year when I was sitting in the break room staring at my phone with my headphones in and saw something funny and laughed a little and looked up to the TV on the news covering a brutal murder.
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#21
It was a hunting trip, 1982. I was with my girlfriend, her daddy, her precious 6 year old brother. Her mother was cooking dinner over by the tent. I accidentally discharged my shotgun and blew little Jimmy's head, clean off. Everybody was stunned, there wasn't even screaming, just stunned silence. I walked over to Jimmy's headless, and nearly neckless corpse.

"I know what's your thinking...did I fire six shots..or only five".....
#22
Quote by TobusRex

"I know what's your thinking...did I fire six shots..or only five".....

That line, it sounds so familiar but I cant put my finger on it.
#23
During a Remembrance Day ceremony, they had a priest leading it who sounded just like the one from the Princess Bride (the marwwage one). I didn't have a chance of keeping it together, I was really impressed at the straight faces of the people around me though.
Quote by Mattron2000
Shadowenspirit,
Developmental Tamer.
Shadowenspirit,
Ancient Sandwich Crafter



I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.


-Voltaire



So it is written.
#24
A guy I knew had a glass eye. I asked how he lost his eye and he said "I shot it out with a bb gun".

I laughed hysterically, because I had never actually known of someone who had do that (Despite the decades of mom warnings and "A Christmas Story").

He didn't see the humor in it that I did...
#25
On a windy day, as the coroner was wheeling my grandfathers body down the driveway.
The top sheet blew off of one side and the bottom sheet came undone around his head.
His hair piece went flying across the yard and my mother, crying her eyes out, chased it into the street.
I couldn't have been happier.
#26
Quote by jugglingfreak
A guy I knew had a glass eye. I asked how he lost his eye and he said "I shot it out with a bb gun".

I laughed hysterically, because I had never actually known of someone who had do that (Despite the decades of mom warnings and "A Christmas Story").

He didn't see the humor in it that I did...


That's cause he don't got no eye.
#27
oh another (don't judge me)

at a previous job they had a group of mentally disabled people that would come in to learn life skill type stuff like shopping on their own.

they had to find stuff on a shopping list around the store.

stocking by myself one day i overhear them an aisle or two over and one of them found what they were looking for in chemicals/cleaning supplies.

their chaperone cheered for them a bit, then one of them blurted out "I FOUND A MARSHMALLOW"

had to walk away. almost lost it.
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#28
Quote by jugglingfreak


He didn't see the humor in it that I did...
maybe you were standing on the wrong side of him
#29
2004, m8 told a banter joke during recess and right after that we had a minute of silence in class for the victims of the tsunami that happened the day before. some 250k people had perished and i couldnt hold it together for even 15 seconds. the teacher gave me soooooo much shit.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#30
My grandfather was working on the floor and he fell though it.
"Music became a healer for me. And I learned to listen with all my being. I found that it could wipe away all the emotions of fear and confusion relating to my family." Eric Clapton
#31
Several times. Most recent time was when the Boston Marathon Bombing happened. I was in class looking at social media trying to see what the fuck had happened exactly when I came a cross a gif of the wrestler Kane doing his ring pyro arm thing



Except when he dropped his arms, it cut to the footage of the bomb going off at the finish line. It took everything in me not to just burst into laughter in the middle of class and then have to explain what I was laughing at, because the whole class was fucking somber for obvious reasons.


Another time was when I found out Paul Walker died in a car wreck. The name irony was too much4me teebeehaitch
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy

Quote by ErikLensherr

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#32
High school girlfriend was on her drive home after the first time we had sex together, which was also her first time ever. She messages me on MSN Messenger (lol nostalgia) with a link to Savage Garden's "Truly, Madly, Deeply." She said, "this was playing on my way home and I just had to cry because it was so beautiful."

I thought she was being sarcastic. She wasn't.
#33
Quote by JustRooster
High school girlfriend was on her drive home after the first time we had sex together, which was also her first time ever. She messages me on MSN Messenger (lol nostalgia) with a link to Savage Garden's "Truly, Madly, Deeply." She said, "this was playing on my way home and I just had to cry because it was so beautiful."

I thought she was being sarcastic. She wasn't.



Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#35
None that I can remember, though I'd been told are you laughing at ["insert some shit that was going on but I didn't know about because I was somewhere else in my head"] And I'd be like, no, I didn't even see [___] I was daydreaming.

I think I laughed once when a cop stopped me in my driveway when I was super stoned, I don't think he could've done anything since he followed me and apparently took to long to stop me because I was on my property already, I was like, whatever and sat outside bullshitting for 15 minutes about where I was blatantly high out of my skull.

I don't remember what the fuck he was on about for 15 minutes, but it felt like way too long to be on my property for no reason on duty.
Last edited by stratkat at Feb 8, 2017,
#37
I always laugh at the most inappropriate times, I can't help it!
If there is bad news, a death etc. I have a flood of emotion (Usually laughing). I have taught myself to stop doing this, although sometimes it's really hard...

Does this make me a bad person?
KEMPER AMPS
IBANEZ
LANEY
#38
Not anything crazy like a funeral or something, but sometimes I'm having an in depth conversation with people and I just start grinning like a madman for no reason. Sometimes I do it when I know something they don't, but it's such a trivial thing it's not worth explaining, but I still know it so I just start smiling, I guess cause I want to tell them but can't. Dunno, it's weird, like a nervous energy thing, but I'm pretty sure I look crazy when I do it.

Quote by JustRooster
Savage Garden's "Truly, Madly, Deeply."

That's embarassing

She should've known this one's better



Quote by JustRooster
MSN Messenger

Nice
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.