#1
She'll never wear this ring
All the pain she's brought me
Never to show up
Low down bitch

I was to be her master
Now I've got to get
This freak show
On the road

I don't want an excuse
What's the use

This ring is
All the proof
Of my lonesome youth
She was fifty years old

Cold, cold hearts
I had the money
She had the spark
What a waste

I don't want an excuse
What's the use
ESAD
Last edited by 5wFisher at Feb 22, 2017,
#2
I think a bit more attention paid to syllable count would do this a lot of favors, both in rhythm and aesthetically. Perhaps a couple verses could be combined. It's a good starting point, flesh it out.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER