#1
Hi there, Im coming back revisiting the same problem I have been posted some while ago now. Basically during these months I have started to "jam" around with people, there are local jams here where I live and I have proposed myself to go there everytime. The first time I turned up I was there with my guitar teacher, played with him and others, and after the performance, some of the guys came and said to me that was good, but to be honest I didnt feel much like it. Afterwards my teacher confesed he is very proud of me, so after this experience I decided to come back again, next time on my own.

Since then I have been playing there for a couple of times, and I always have the same feeling when I finish playing, I feel like I sucked, like that wasnt at all at the level I think I can perform and that when I hear myself alone in my room I sound far way better than that. Even with that, one of the guys approached me today and said that was a good one (he was playing guitar by my side too and I was on the lead part), thing is I dont know if this is very well intentioned or people ar just doing it to make kind of joke/false aprovement to me, making me believe I sound good when I am close to suck.

I need some help, I think Im getting a bit of anxiety with this and every time I am playing on stage there are bits where I am thinking about if I am really sounding ok or what, any similar experiences? How can I get over this?

I have been playing for almost 4 years now, my flatmate has even said he has listened to me playing and that my playing is really good for the time I have been playing, but at this point I dont know what to think,

thanks hope to get some help on this and how to control this anxiety/awful feeling
#2
Quote by gc318
how to control this anxiety/awful feeling




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#3
You're not getting anxiety whatsoever, You lack confidence my friend. Do not drink alcohol to fix this feeling you have. Temporary solutions can turn to be lifetime destruction. Pretend all the people that are watching you play are little ants and you have the bug spray.
Last edited by phil22au at Feb 28, 2017,
#4
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#5
Dude you gotta believe them, if people say you sound good then it's good. Though it's just a matter of opinion I guess. Anyway if someone thinks you're shit just tell them they're stupid and you're the king
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#8
If that many people, especially those who play, are saying you're good, you're probably pretty good
A poem.
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#10
What you need is a new amp
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#12
It happens.

- Jam as much and play in front of other people as often as you can to get used to it.
- Like the dude with the thingy said, record yourself and listen to it.
- Fake it to make it. Acting confident even when you're not will make you look even better, since according to people you know you sound good anyway. Eventually it might become a habit.

Quote by gc318
every time I am playing on stage there are bits where I am thinking about if I am really sounding ok or what


Realize that regardless of how you sound (and to pretty much everyone, you will sound fine), there's little you can do about it while mid-song, so just do your best with it. All you can do at that time is mess around with the tone and volume knobs, but really, most people won't think you're off even if you actually are unless you mess up majorly.
Last edited by Spinnerweb at Mar 1, 2017,
#13
Thanks for the replies guys, I think recording myself might a a very good idea to see weaknesses and work on them!
#14
I've been going to jams for nearly four years, and I've told people they were good, and I've meant it every time.
We do have one guy that's been coming for a good while, and is... not great. No one has said such to him, but someone has taken to periodically asking him how much he's been practicing (to which the answer is usually "not at all").
#15
dude i've been playing for almost 40 years and still feel that i "suck". . it's kinda natural in a way. keeps you humble and keeps you trying to get better. when you go play the best you can and don't sweat it to much. we all have good days and days where we do indeed suck. happens to even guitar hero types so again don't worry so much.
#16
Something worth considering.

One of the problems a lot of us suffer from is who we compare ourselves to. If your point of comparison is a world famous guitar hero, well we're all gonna come up short on that. There are literally millions of guitarists out there. But generally the guys who get air play are in the top 1% or 2% in terms of skill, creativity and experience. This isn't the case with most things in life, but the music business is like that. Bad musicians simply don't get massive attention. So we all compare ourselves to guitar gods which does nothing for your confidence when you're still putting your chops together.

Also, our own perceptions limit us.

Like you I play better in my music room than in public. Performance anxiety is a bitch. But with continuous feedback like yours - that you play well and should be happy about, it is worth listening to. You know you can do better - we all can improve somewhere in our playing - but you're impressing the audience, so listen to that. Use that to help cut down on the nerves and anxiety of public performance and keep polishing your craft in private. You're on your way as a live musician, the feedback says so. And being dissatisfied with where you are at now is the thing that will motivate you to keep improving.
Last edited by Dalton Lee at Mar 2, 2017,
#17
I now feel/play the same like you in public. Didn't used too, when I was younger I had a bigger ego and more confident you could hear it in my playing.
Now I try to be more humble and play flawless. The last 2 gigs I played I felt more like my younger self, only better and minus the ego.
Recording yourself is great.
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#19
TBH you sound schizophrenic. Don't be so suspicious of everyone.
"I feel like a one legged cat trying to bury a turd in a frozen pond."

DANMARK ØDELÆGGER ALLE
#20
Quote by Fatewhip
TBH you sound schizophrenic. Don't be so suspicious of everyone.


Tbh he sounds reasonable to anyone who's had stage fright.
#21
Quote by Spinnerweb
Tbh he sounds reasonable to anyone who's had stage fright.


To suspect the audience of lying to him? Maybe. But his roommate? Nahhh
"I feel like a one legged cat trying to bury a turd in a frozen pond."

DANMARK ØDELÆGGER ALLE
#22
Quote by Fatewhip
To suspect the audience of lying to him? Maybe. But his roommate? Nahhh

You've got me there. Roommates tend to be critical even when you're actually good. :P