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#1
Tell a story of VERY, painfully awkward encounters. This being the pit, I'm sure there's no shortage


Yesterday, I was buying something at a shitty computer store. My checkout clerk looked like a mid 50s white dude who looked world weary, had an unkempt, greying beard, and a hispanic accent for some reason.

While waiting in line for a very long time, I thought to myself... man this guy looks like a fuckin depressing loser. Just from the way he slouched and took forever to process the customers in front of me.

Anyways, I go up to him and give the old "hey how's it goin"

He says, with baggy eyes looking down, "Just...trying to get through the day..."

Me trying to be diplomatic: "Ah, one of those days huh?"

He replies, "Might not make it.... my wife wants a divorce."

............................................................................................................................................................................


After being speechless for what feels like an eternity, I said "oh.....sorry to hear that..."

He says: "No more sorry than I am."


.......................................................................................................................................................

Only thing I can think of "so....is this one on sale or...?

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
Last edited by Xiaoxi at Mar 3, 2017,
#3
Quote by Xiaoxi
Tell a story of VERY, painfully awkward encounters. This being the pit, I'm sure there's no shortage


Yesterday, I was buying something at a shitty computer store. My checkout clerk looked like a mid 50s white dude who looked world weary, had an unkempt, greying beard, and a hispanic accent for some reason.

While waiting in line for a very long time, I thought to myself... man this guy looks like a fuckin depressing loser. Just from the way he slouched and took forever to process the customers in front of me.

Anyways, I go up to him and give the old "hey how's it goin"

He says, with baggy eyes looking down, "Just...trying to get through the day..."

Me trying to be diplomatic: "Ah, one of those days huh?"

He replies, "Might not make it.... my wife wants a divorce."

............................................................................................................................................................................


After being speechless for what feels like an eternity, I said "oh.....sorry to hear that..."

He says: "No more sorry than I am."


.......................................................................................................................................................

Only thing I can think of "so....is this one on sale or...?

You handled that completely wrong.

You're 'sposed to drop your shit and run out the door.
#4
"Can I get a divorce from this conversation LOL"
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#5
Quote by Xiaoxi
Tell a story of VERY, painfully awkward encounters. This being the pit, I'm sure there's no shortage


Yesterday, I was buying something at a shitty computer store. My checkout clerk looked like a mid 50s white dude who looked world weary, had an unkempt, greying beard, and a hispanic accent for some reason.

While waiting in line for a very long time, I thought to myself... man this guy looks like a fuckin depressing loser. Just from the way he slouched and took forever to process the customers in front of me.

Anyways, I go up to him and give the old "hey how's it goin"

He says, with baggy eyes looking down, "Just...trying to get through the day..."

Me trying to be diplomatic: "Ah, one of those days huh?"

He replies, "Might not make it.... my wife wants a divorce."

............................................................................................................................................................................


After being speechless for what feels like an eternity, I said "oh.....sorry to hear that..."

He says: "No more sorry than I am."


.......................................................................................................................................................

Only thing I can think of "so....is she fit?


ftfy
#6
lmao
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#7
I think I'd have said hang in there man, and left it at that.

Maybe you should've bought him a beer while you were at the store.

Some girl had the unfortune to try and buy weed from at the park, bitch took 30 minutes of chatting me up before asking.
I haven't sold weed in 4 years (it's been even longer now,) she first approached me when she saw me drinking in the park, she asked if I was old enough to be drinking that, Idk if she was trying to flatter me or not.

Either way it was more awkward for her, I only found out when my brother was picking her up for lunch because they became friends or something a while after this incident. I was too drunk off beer and high on pills to really feel awkward.
Last edited by stratkat at Mar 4, 2017,
#8
i used to work at a pharmacy in a hospital, and one day a customer approached the till and I asked him "Hey man, how are you?" to which he replied "Well I'm dying, what do you think?"

i could not save that conversation
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#9
Quote by Demon Wolf
i used to work at a pharmacy in a hospital, and one day a customer approached the till and I asked him "Hey man, how are you?" to which he replied "Well I'm dying, what do you think?"

i could not save that conversation
plenty of people accept it and enjoy their last time tho

dude was a fuckin idiot
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#10
recently i bought some food from a baguette shop and after eating it in there i was like, so should i say bye now? i did last time so i should do it again i guess

so i turn towards the door and shout out a very loud 'okay see you guys'

no response

there are like 5 people in line that clearly all heard me but the two people making sandwiches are still making sandwiches

so i thought, okay i'll just double down and be twice as loud it'll be fine they'll hear me this time.

OKAY CYA BYE

...


and i leave the shop, with absolutely no response from humans making sandwiches. i just burst into laughter when i left because of the state i left that shop in. if any of you are reading this, i am so sorry. will never shout goodbye again, will never again act like people in communities do

i am almost 100% certain that the people in line would have also either cringed or started laughing after i doubled down and then left
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
Last edited by laid-to-waste at Mar 4, 2017,
#11
lmao
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#12
Quote by Banjocal
dude was a fuckin idiot

eh not really, what's he supposed to say? Even if he joked about it it would still be awkward, plus I can understand him being a bit resentful, especially if he just found out given he's in a hospital.

laid-to-waste
ouch that hurts. Like getting left hanging, but verbally
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
Last edited by Gatecrasher53 at Mar 4, 2017,
#13
Just happened today actually. A guy in the hostel was going on about how illiterate the other guys are and asked what girls use on their period and I said, "Tampon."

One of the snarkier guys said, "There, you know because you buy them yourself."

I absent-mindedly said, "Yeah, for your mum."

He went quiet after mumbling that I anger too quickly. Then I remembered his mum died just a month ago.

I told him I was sorry and would think before I speak next time, but I still feel like a piece of shit.
#15
should have been all like "i'm a bmw driver i ain't got time for this shit" and then pretended to drive out of store whilst making engine noises and then he'd be all like what the fuck and you'd be all like m powweerrrr
Last edited by kalypto at Mar 4, 2017,
#16
Quote by slipknot5678
that time last week i tried to tip a fast food employee a dollar and then posted about in the chat thread

interaction itself wasnt that awkward but me sitting there as the boss rants and the entire kitchen is being lectured for doing nothing wrong was. i am an idiot lol



Who the fuck tips a fast food employee?


Where do you hide the bodies?
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#17
Quote by laid-to-waste
recently i bought some food from a baguette shop and after eating it in there i was like, so should i say bye now? i did last time so i should do it again i guess

so i turn towards the door and shout out a very loud 'okay see you guys'

no response

there are like 5 people in line that clearly all heard me but the two people making sandwiches are still making sandwiches

so i thought, okay i'll just double down and be twice as loud it'll be fine they'll hear me this time.

OKAY CYA BYE

...


and i leave the shop, with absolutely no response from humans making sandwiches. i just burst into laughter when i left because of the state i left that shop in. if any of you are reading this, i am so sorry. will never shout goodbye again, will never again act like people in communities do

i am almost 100% certain that the people in line would have also either cringed or started laughing after i doubled down and then left

Why he fuck would you say goodbye to people working in a sandwich shop?
#18
Basically every interaction I have with a girl after being rejected by them.

I'm definitely feeling more ugly these days. Confidence hasn't got me anywhere.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#19
Hahahaha
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#22
Quote by TheChaz
Why he fuck would you say goodbye to people working in a sandwich shop?


it's a small sandwich shop with a very cosy atmosphere so i was feeling the goodbye. plus the sandwich was good.

bye
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
#23
Quote by TheChaz
Nero Galon Confidence only works if you're handsome and don't have white dreads 


Put it this way, if you're attractive enough and you actually look after your locks then because you're attractive, you're much less likely to have people think you're dirty. If you're ugly with cleans locks then you're much more likely to be thought of as dirty.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#24
Awkward moments are the most important/revealing gifts that life can offer, to remind you that your own person comfort is not important in the grand scheme of things.
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#25
Just a minute ago I think I walked in on my flatmate with his girlfriend as they were getting intimate lol.

They have a bloody lock on the door so why not use it...
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#26
Quote by Nero Galon
Just a minute ago I think I walked in on my flatmate with his girlfriend as they were getting intimate lol.

They have a bloody lock on the door so why not use it...


Uh you should knock
My God, it's full of stars!
#27
I was at a customer's house to install a phone line and every sentence ended with "BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER".

We really need the telephone line BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER
She continued to phone people from her mobile and complain about any kind of service (gas/electricity etc.) and say that it needed to be dealt this second BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER.

A week or two later she sent a picture message to my work phone...
Of her husband asleep (?) in bed...

Ackward...
#28
Quote by whoomit
I was at a customer's house to install a phone line and every sentence ended with "BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER".

We really need the telephone line BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER
She continued to phone people from her mobile and complain about any kind of service (gas/electricity etc.) and say that it needed to be dealt this second BECAUSE MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER.

A week or two later she sent a picture message to my work phone...
Of her husband asleep (?) in bed...

Ackward...

Was


she fit?
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#29
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Was


she fit?

She was like 60.

So yeah.
#31
Quote by whoomit

A week or two later she sent a picture message to my work phone...
Of her husband asleep (?) in bed...

Ackward...

Was


he fit?
#32
Quote by kalypto
Was


he fit?

No, he was bed-ridden.

Cute butt though.
#33
Quote by Xiaoxi
Tell a story of VERY, painfully awkward encounters.


the entire politics thread

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#34
Quote by Dreadnought
Uh you should knock


I kinda do that annoying thing where I knock and then open the door. I realise it's not the right thing to do.

I've never really had to worry about these sorts of things before because me and my brothers have never had a girl around to have to be cautious.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#35
Quote by kalypto
should have been all like "i'm a bmw driver i ain't got time for this shit" and then pretended to drive out of store whilst making engine noises and then he'd be all like what the fuck and you'd be all like m powweerrrr
lmaooo

///M POWER


Quote by eGraham
"Can I get a divorce from this conversation LOL"
This is fuckin savage goddamn. I feel bad for the guy.


Quote by stratkat
I think I'd have said hang in there man, and left it at that.
No way, I'm done with "hang in there". It's so bad. It's basically indifference masking as caring but so transparently indifferent.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
Last edited by Xiaoxi at Mar 4, 2017,
#36
I'd have asked him if he knew why divorces are so expensive, When he stated No, I'd have told him, Because they're worth it!
#37
Quote by Nero Galon
Just a minute ago I think I walked in on my flatmate with his girlfriend as they were getting intimate lol.

They have a bloody lock on the door so why not use it...
That's not really awkward.If you'd said 'Threesome?' and got rejected now woulda been awkward
#38
Quote by EyeballPaul
That's not really awkward.If you'd said 'Threesome?' and got rejected now woulda been awkward

Extra awkward if one said 'sure' and the other said 'nope' at the same time.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#39
Quote by EyeballPaul
That's not really awkward.If you'd said 'Threesome?' and got rejected now woulda been awkward
i dunno man sounds pretty awkward to me
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
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