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#1
Is it okay to force/tell people to face their fears and get over them?

I had a phobia of dogs when I was younger, and was forced by society to learn how to deal with it. Should this be the norm?

Discuss
#2
yeah

many people have very irrational fears and need to be bitch slapped and corrected.
especially those who "suffer" from social anxiety and/or public speaking.
the only way to grow and become a better person is to push your comfort zone and overcome that obstacle.

for example, this chick needs to get over her irrational phobia
you can't be a functional member of society and be scared of fucking pickles lol

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#3
why should they be forced to? what's the moral force directing this "should-ness"?

you can tell people to all they like and maybe they will, maybe they won't.

sometimes it might be useful to take action on someone's behalf, sometimes it might not
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#4
Quote by Banjocal
why should they be forced to? what's the moral force directing this "should-ness"?

you can tell people to all they like and maybe they will, maybe they won't.

sometimes it might be useful to take action on someone's behalf, sometimes it might not

Because weakness is bad
#5
Didn't Anakin Skywalker say something similar about politics in attack of the clones?

inb4 sand
o()o

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#6
Only if they're hot chicks who have a phobia of having sex with me.
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#7
Quote by Banjocal
why should they be forced to? what's the moral force directing this "should-ness"?

you can tell people to all they like and maybe they will, maybe they won't.

sometimes it might be useful to take action on someone's behalf, sometimes it might not


One of my friends has a phobia of spiders, and freaks out and has a go at you if you even mention their existence in their presence. I like them, but it gets really tiresome after a while and I kinda just want to throw money spiders at them until they get over it
#8
As much as it sucks to have phobias, like with any other mental disorder, it the responsibility of the person who has the phobia to do something about it. Either by freeing themselves of it entirely or coming up with a strategy to control it. Phobias are ultimately learned behaviors and as such, they can be unlearned.

Therefore, I don't see what's wrong with telling people that they need to sort their problems out. Especially when its clearly having a negative impact on the quality of their life.

Telling them to 'get over it' is fucking douchy way to put it though.
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#9
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Because weakness is bad
Badness is a relative term. Wrongness implies facticity.
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#10
I'm sure people who suffer from phobias would like to be cured of them. Having said that, throwing someone directly into the situation they fear most probably isn't the best approach.
#11
Depends what they're scared of.

If they're scared spiders or something, fair enough, most people can get on with their lives and work around a fear like this.

If they're scared of sunlight or something, then they need to get it together. I don't pay my taxes to support you hiding away inside with the curtains shut!
#12
Quote by sashki
Having said that, throwing someone directly into the situation they fear most probably isn't the best approach.

That's actually the basis of how phobias are treated.
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#14
Quote by chrismendiola
That's actually the basis of how phobias are treated.

Gradual exposure in a safe, controlled environment is not the same as throwing someone in at the deep end hoping they'll figure it out.
#15
Quote by sashki
Gradual exposure in a safe, controlled environment is not the same as throwing someone in at the deep end hoping they'll figure it out.

Nah, flooding is used, though less often than interoceptive, in vivo, or covert exposure.  When it works, it tends to be very fast to reduce fear/anxiety associated with a phobic object.  But it's more traumatic and there's a higher liability for spontaneous recurrence.
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#16
Quote by Bladez22
One of my friends has a phobia of spiders, and freaks out and has a go at you if you even mention their existence in their presence. I like them, but it gets really tiresome after a while and I kinda just want to throw money spiders at them until they get over it
that would be quite adorable but also harrowing. Invite them onto the eric andre show

anyway sure but it's still their choice and this whole should business is a crock u dig me

sounds like you need to have an honest talk with them or just drop them

Quote by chrismendiola
That's actually the basis of how phobias are treated.
true, but flooding as a treatment isn't something you just casually go into it can go ridiculously shitty incredibly fast if the patient isn't "right" for it, so to speak
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Last edited by Banjocal at Mar 4, 2017,
#17
^ Agreed. I'm not sure it won't work for nobody, but acting like it will work for everyone is bullshit. Especially when you start acting like you have a crappy patient when actually it's well know that said treatment only works for some people.

Quote by sashki
I'm sure people who suffer from phobias would like to be cured of them. Having said that, throwing someone directly into the situation they fear most probably isn't the best approach.


Yeah, that's the thing that I find offensive about it. People (and often therapists etc. too) act like if you won't do exactly what they say, that you actually don't want to be cured.

Wut.

What I won't do is do something that I either feel incapable of doing, or which I think will make me worse. That's not the same thing at all.

Anyway, I'd generally take the approach I do to any illness or problem- if it annoys me when I don't have it, how much does it annoy the person who does have it? It's a very small price to pay to not be afflicted by the thing. IMO.

Quote by k.lainad
yeah

many people have very irrational fears and need to be bitch slapped and corrected.
especially those who "suffer" from social anxiety and/or public speaking.
the only way to grow and become a better person is to push your comfort zone and overcome that obstacle.


are you sure the only way to do that isn't to post glib cliches and gnomic utterances?

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE

Therefore, I don't see what's wrong with telling people that they need to sort their problems out. Especially when its clearly having a negative impact on the quality of their life.


That kind of assumes that (a) you know more than they do about what will have a negative impact on the quality of their life and (b) that what you're suggesting they do will actually help.

In my experience, both of those a fairly heroic assumptions.
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#18
Quote by k.lainad
yeah

many people have very irrational fears and need to be bitch slapped and corrected.
especially those who "suffer" from social anxiety and/or public speaking.
the only way to grow and become a better person is to push your comfort zone and overcome that obstacle.

for example, this chick needs to get over her irrational phobia
you can't be a functional member of society and be scared of fucking pickles lol



I'm afraid of needles, I should probably take up heroine
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#19
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I'm afraid of needles, I should probably take up heroine


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^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

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Hello.
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#20
Quote by Bladez22
Is it okay to force/tell people to face their fears and get over them?

Maybe don't use words like "force", a little empathy goes a long way these days.
#21
Quote by chrismendiola
That's actually the basis of how phobias are treated.

It's done gradually though.
#22
Well I have a phobia of dumb questions, yet here I am
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#23
Only if I get to choose the phobia and do the pandering.
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#24
Quote by sashki
Gradual exposure in a safe, controlled environment is not the same as throwing someone in at the deep end hoping they'll figure it out.

Well, since I didn't say that, I don't know why you bring this up. CBT for phobias is throwing someone into the situation they fear, but I didn't realize what you had actually meant was flooding.
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#25
pander? i hardly know her!
will someone carry me across ten thousand miles under the silence
#26
I have a phobia of bees. I hate bees more than anything else in the world. This doesn't really effect my life that much. I'd be pretty pissed if someone tried to "force" me to get over my fears.
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#27
It's called exposure therapy, if supervised yeah, it can help people, but if there phobia isn't crippling enough to affect their quality of life, it's not an issue really.

I hate dogs, walking to get booze not long ago, fucking pit bull comes out in the middle of the road looking aggressive, I moved to the right, it moved to the right blocking my path, I'd never seen this dog in my life, normally all it takes it a loud mean 'fuck off' to make a dog run away, it didn't seem like a good idea with this dog, I was really nervous that day and didn't wanna deal with the fucking thing. It wasn't huge, pretty sure I could've killed it if it came down to it, but it fucked off at it's own leisure.

Doesn't help a pit bull bit me completely unprovoked when I was a teenager, I was just riding a bike and it ran out of a yard and knicked my leg, I had to get stitches, lucky the thing didn't catch me with it's mouth, just got enough to make me bleed bad.

After saying all this my best friend had a pit bull, I'd sleep around it, but it's not a strange dog with no owner in sight. I think it's pretty natural to be afraid of stray dogs, I can chill around dogs fine.
Last edited by stratkat at Mar 4, 2017,
#28
It's totally okay for people to tell others that. It's also okay for me to not take you seriously if you tell me that and you're not a professional. Like how do you even know what's going on in my head?
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#29
Quote by MurrcuryFoxx
I have a phobia of bees. I hate bees more than anything else in the world. This doesn't really effect my life that much. I'd be pretty pissed if someone tried to "force" me to get over my fears.

Wanna come visit my apiary?
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#30
Quote by Jackal58
Wanna come visit my apiary?


I'll pass. tbh though I'm cool if I just see a bee it's when they get close to me they freak me out. I'll kinda just lose my shit if one touches me though.
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#31
They should be forced only if they want it for themselves and pandering is only alright if their mentality doesn't make them think it's okay to demand it or seek attention.

If it has a clear negative impact on their daily living, then it's up to you to explain to them why it's better to face the phobia. But ultimately, bettering themselves is a decision they have to make for themselves.

Also not 100% sure you can say society forced you out of your fear of dogs. It's more like you gradually learned over time how to accept them as a part of living because of such over exposure. You just as easily could have clinged on to your fear and still be terrified to this day. In which case, I'm not so sure it was a phobia more than it was just a childhood fear, like the dark.
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#32
Quote by Jackal58
Wanna come visit my apiary?
This is your worst chat up line yet
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#34
Quote by Banjocal
This is your worst chat up line yet

But it's the bees knees.
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I can fap to this. Keep going.
#35
Quote by Jackal58
But it's the bees knees.
They're weighed down with pollen Jackal don't be so insensitive!
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#36
The addiction to the dopamine/epinephrine surges that occur through an individual who perceive themselves to be immune to particular stimuli is more dangerous than the phobia experienced by the sufferer itself. It's the first step in sociopathic/authoritarian nonsense. Civilization 101. Read a fucking book, all of you; or just go outside for ten minutes and pay attention.
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#37
Quote by Zaphikh
The addiction to the dopamine/epinephrine surges that occur through an individual who perceive themselves to be immune to particular stimuli is more dangerous than the phobia experienced by the sufferer itself. It's the first step in sociopathic/authoritarian nonsense. Civilization 101. Read a fucking book, all of you; or just go outside for ten minutes and pay attention.


Probably one of the more retarded-er posts you've posted. You're,missing the importance of GABAa and GABAb, and adrenal fatigue. Where are you btw? Pm me if you want, I'm just chillin here more north
.
#38
Quote by Fat Lard
Probably one of the more retarded-er posts you've posted. You're,missing the importance of GABAa and GABAb, and adrenal fatigue. Where are you btw? Pm me if you want, I'm just chillin here more north

Jacksonville, FL.

I've had a shit day, and need to call it a night. About to pass out. I'm glad you call me out on my shit; especially when I'm pissed at something else.
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#40
Will respond when sober, awake, and reasonable. Till next time. Peace.
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