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#1
This includes expos, line cooks, dishwashers, head chefs, managers, bussers, hosts, and basically anyone who doesn't think of cars when they hear the word crash, gardening when someone is in the weeds, or their grandmother when they hear the word 86.

There's nothing like working in a restaurant. The stress can be unbelievable. The stiffs can kill your soul. The arguments with coworkers can test your last nerve. The constant dreams about work. The few rude customers. In the end though, it's all worth it. The family you build while working together. The random $100 that a nice guest decided to leave you as a tip. The sheer joy of making some bodies day and dining experience a little better.

Basically in this thread I want you guys to post war stories, feel good stories, inside jokes, whatever comes to mind. Just thought I'd throw this out there
If you slit my throat with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

#3
My mom is a head chef and I'ved work in over a dozen restaurants as all kinds off different positions and it's the single worst line of work I've ever been in. I love cooking though but I only do it for my family and friends anymore. Fuck serving people I don't know they can learn to cook for themselves or they can fuck off. 
They can't stop us Let 'em try For heavy metal We will die!
#4
yip, being a waiter is not the worst shitty part time job you can have

certainly beats a call centre, gawd.


tho apparently i didn't wipe a customer's table enthusiastically enough today? so next time imma pour a bucket of soap over his table, little prik
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#5
I've worked fast food jobs and family dining restaurant jobs, bars, both either as cashier or server, I worked a griller job once that was way too fast paced for me. The rest were pretty boring unless your coworkers are cool, like I've met plenty smokers at these jobs, and they're laid back, shoot the shit and have good small talk in between breaks. I hope I never have to work at a restaurant again, unless I'm the manager or supervisor or own my own joint. 
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There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

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^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

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Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#6
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
nope

I mean look, yeah I probably think about what kitchen appliance would kill me quickest about once a week, but then I walk out at night with $150 and get to go drink with my friends. No way I'm making more money without a degree and if you've got a good staff you can have some hella fun shifts. Plus you'll never learn how to deal with awful people better than serving. 

Hell no I don't want to get a manager called because I forgot ranch for the rest of my life, but for now it's fine. And this is the place to vent. Nothing can make having 6 tables and already crashing and then getting triple sat ok though, absolutely nothing. I've been so close to blowing up at hosts
If you slit my throat with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

Last edited by mhgarry5 at Mar 11, 2017,
#7
being active, on your feet for a shift > stuck at a computer internally greeting
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#8
I've worked everywhere in bars/restaurants from glass collecting and pot washing, cocktail bartending and grilling, managing etc. It's grim work at every level. I'm moving into ownership and that's not much less of a thankless task so far haha
#9
Restaurant work is balls, but it's not really hard once you learn to not care about anything.
#10
I respect people who work in restaurants so much, be they fast food or fine dining. Actually, people in fast food even more. It's thanks to them that we get decent food when needed when it seems so unrewarding for them.
#11
Quote by Spinnerweb
I respect people who work in restaurants so much, be they fast food or fine dining. Actually, people in  fast food even more. It's thanks to them that we get decent food when needed when it seems so unrewarding for them.

Plus they don't get tipped. I make good wages off my tips. I always tip my fast food worker or drive thru attendant though. I know how hard they work. 

its true though, eventually you really stop caring and just see it as another day. I'd rather make cash every night and bullshit with coworkers than sit at a register making less than half of what I currently make 
If you slit my throat with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

#12
I couldn't do it. Serious props to the people that put up with people's bullshit.
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#13
I've only ever done bar work/waitering in a Mess, so... yea, they're drunk af, but well mannered about it.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#14
Quote by OddOneOut
I couldn't do it. Serious props to the people that put up with people's bullshit.

It's all about rhe money. People start to become robots after a while lol
If you slit my throat with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

#15
yea it's just like background noise at this point. tho really, proper twats are usually quite rare
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#16
Quote by steve_muse
yea it's just like background noise at this point. tho really, proper twats are usually quite rare

Yeah.  And tbh, you're pretty much in control of the situation if you do run into a real cunt.  Act like an asshole?  Enjoy having an empty glass all night and waiting 40 minutes for your food.  I'll take the hit on the tip.
#17
slipknot5678 Eh, I don't really worry about it.  Goes along with the whole "job becomes easy when you stop caring about it" mentality.
#18
I worked as a chef for ~12 years, started out as a dishwasher and moved up, even worked at a Lyons which is just an upscale Dennys before I did fine dining.
There are worse jobs....

Story: My best buddy was a waiter, we worked together in a fine dining restaurant in the tourista sector of town and one day he gets a table with an bunch of assholes.
The guy starts off with "Here's your tip" (sets down $5, yes $5) "every time you make a mistake, I deduct a dollar from your tip", now mind you they haven't even got their waters yet.
It gets sort of cricket chirping quiet, everyone is a little aghast at this guys rudeness.

So my friend stands there for a moment, then takes a 10 out of his pocket tosses it on the table and says "go eat somewhere else".
Every table around these rude fucks started laughing, our manager was laughing, I lost it when I heard what happened it was literally one of the best nights ever in that restaurant.
EDIT: This was also before they could crap all over you on the Internet.
Last edited by 33db at Mar 11, 2017,
#19
I was a bus boy from like 15 to 16 or 17, and then a waiter at the same place when I was 17-18 during my senior year. Overall I enjoyed it  
My God, it's full of stars!
#20
My only experiences with restaurant related work comes from watching Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.

People are dumb lmao
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#21
Looks like a shithole job and I'm glad I'll probably never have to do it.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#22
Quote by mhgarry5
Basically in this thread I want you guys to post war stories
You want me to tell you about the time I fought in 'nam?
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#23
When you realize you haven't stopped saying corner and you got off 30 minutes ago.

Can't find the new hire after asking for a bucket of steam (ha)
"Well reeeer to you too sir...Its the internet. Do you really expect it to be completely serious?" - mcraddict81592
#24
I've learned to happily watch horrific events occur to the mega-rich; but that's about it.
Hmu with any concerns/questions/indignations. After a certain point, their pattern of their addiction is predictable.
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#26
Actually, I need throw this out there: one out of every 3000 or 5000 parties of the mega-rich you see in your lifetime will ever be decent and respectful to you. I find it deeply saddening that most of these people have never emotionally or mentally evolved past the age of six, since that's when everything was taken care of them since then (planned out before them before they developed the capacity to plan);; (fuck you, yes; a double semi-colon) you call tell it in the way they speak, the way they gesticulate, etc...
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#27
I know that feel bro. Server life does suck, especially when they soft fail and bring down the entire cluster and you spend all night tracking it down.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Thanks
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#28
Quote by Zaphikh
Actually, I need throw this out there: one out of every 3000 or 5000 parties of the mega-rich you see in your lifetime will ever be decent and respectful to you. I find it deeply saddening that most of these people have never emotionally or mentally evolved past the age of six, since that's when everything was taken care of them since then (planned out before them before they developed the capacity to plan);; (fuck you, yes; a double semi-colon) you call tell it in the way they speak, the way they gesticulate, etc...

What rich kid beat you up in school
My God, it's full of stars!
#29
lmao yea that came out of nowhere

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#30
Due to my physical size/stature, nobody has ever confronted me physically in my life. Some folks believe the world should allow others to get away with stupidity, the other majority takes notes and observes pattern to be noticed. History 101, in all forms, even restaurants. 
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#31
I can attest to Zapikh's lamentations on the rich (really anyone) in restaurants, that is why I chose the back of the house even though waiters make 3 or 4 times more and work less.
Some people have the idea that restaurant help is there for them to torture, for example "can you get me some(random) sauce" after you bring them that sauce they ask for another item, and then do it again and again.

Instead of asking for everything they needed (if indeed they did need it) they torture you by making you run after each item individually.

Even in the kitchen you get strange things, for example this elderly couple came in and would order 3 meals, they always sent a meal back for some absurd detail of a reason.
So I asked the server why do they order 3 meals? She says "one's for their dead son" oh.... OK which one is it they always send back? "Their sons".
Was the kid a snot? There's no one eating the meal, he's dead, so why are they sending it back?

Then there was the lady that ordered raw liver, I'm thinking this is a joke right, nope went to the tiny window in the door looked out and there she was with a sliver of bloody meat dangling from her lips.
How would you like to kiss that mouth?
Last edited by 33db at Mar 12, 2017,
#32
Quote by guitarkid8
When you realize you haven't stopped saying corner and you got off 30 minutes ago.

Can't find the new hire after asking for a bucket of steam (ha)

Behind you
If you slit my throat with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

#33
Quote by 33db
I can attest to Zapikh's lamentations on the rich (really anyone) in restaurants, that is why I chose the back of the house even though waiters make 3 or 4 times more and work less.
Some people have the idea that restaurant help is there for them to torture, for example "can you get me some(random) sauce" after you bring them that sauce they ask for another item, and then do it again and again.

Instead of asking for everything they needed (if indeed they did need it) they torture you by making you run after each item individually.

Even in the kitchen you get strange things, for example this elderly couple came in and would order 3 meals, they always sent a meal back for some absurd detail of a reason.
So I asked the server why do they order 3 meals? She says "one's for their dead son" oh.... OK which one is it they always send back? "Their sons".
Was the kid a snot? There's no one eating the meal, he's dead, so why are they sending it back?

Then there was the lady that ordered raw liver, I'm thinking this is a joke right, nope went to the tiny window in the door looked out and there she was with a sliver of bloody meat dangling from her lips.
How would you like to kiss that mouth?

More common than you might think.

But you run the risk of

Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#35
I spent 15 years in the industry, a good portion of that was as a sous chef in fine dining In Vail CO. I met a few musicians, actors and politicians but the only was that stands out was when I was helping out at the bar after the kitchen closed on a band night. I would get ice, wash glasses and restock the coolers as needed, I don't remember the band, probably some local bar band. This nasty angry little guy came up to the bar and started demanding I take his order for some cocktails. I explained I was not sure of the recipes for the drinks he want and would get him a bartender right away, he started screaming "Do you know who I am?", I said "Yes sir, you are that guy from the Lethal Weapon movie." He was yelling at the top of his lungs " I'm Joe Peschi, I demand service  yada yada yada". The bartender came over as fast as he could and helped him, I walked away mumbling "what a fuckin' dumbass" under breath.
"It's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war"
#36
I'd have body slammed that little shit, Smith357. You must be a lot nicer guy than me!
#37
i live in the middle of nowhere, but there is a hotel in the middle of the farm next to me and we're like a community. i used to work there as a waiter and all the above, but recently i told him i play guitar and he has now hired me as a guitar player in the restaurant now which is a much better job, and i have none of the above problems. i get paid more but less hours overall which is perfect for me.

anyway this one time as a waiter the boss said 'be careful when you're carrying those glasses because they cost me over £20', and then i said okay, and then 10 seconds later i drop and smash 3 of them. in front of a lot of people. rite of passage i suppose.
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
#38
Quote by Smith357
I spent 15 years in the industry, a good portion of that was as a sous chef in fine dining In Vail CO. I met a few musicians, actors and politicians but the only was that stands out was when I was helping out at the bar after the kitchen closed on a band night. I would get ice, wash glasses and restock the coolers as needed, I don't remember the band, probably some local bar band. This nasty angry little guy came up to the bar and started demanding I take his order for some cocktails. I explained I was not sure of the recipes for the drinks he want and would get him a bartender right away, he started screaming "Do you know who I am?", I said "Yes sir, you are that guy from the Lethal Weapon movie." He was yelling at the top of his lungs " I'm Joe Peschi, I demand service  yada yada yada". The bartender came over as fast as he could and helped him, I walked away mumbling "what a fuckin' dumbass" under breath.

You had an awesome opportunity to beat Joe Peschi's ass. Sure you would have gotten fired, but that'd be the story of a lifetime.
My God, it's full of stars!
#40
Back in the day one could slap a waitress on the butt without worrying too much about being arrested, doing it while making bread was fun as they would walk out on the floor with a big hand print  on their ass. 

I put Mydick Filet Fresh Meaty Flavorful for 12.99 on the fresh catch board in the kitchen as an obvious gag once and a server actually sold it. 

We caught a Bartender boffing a cocktail waitress on a prep table late one night. She quit the next day. 

Drop an ice cube in the deep fryer and walk away, about 10 seconds later it will erupt like a volcano.

Back in the 80s and 90s food service was a constant and insane party.
"It's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war"
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