Poll: Can you fix a broken relationship?
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View poll results: Can you fix a broken relationship?
Yes
6 23%
No
7 27%
Maybe
13 50%
Voters: 26.
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#1
Emo thread alert..

So my girlfriend and I broke up the other week after a year being together. We're making the questionable decision of trying to make things work again. I wont go in to all the details, but to summarise we didn't break up due to one of us being unfaithful.. It was essentially just all the little things being bottled up for too long and eventually it all exploded in to a bunch of bad fights and things ended quite badly. I'm pretty miserable as a result.  
So the question i ask, is it really possible to fix something that's broken? I hear countless people say the problems never go away and you can try all you like but it is never the same. Has anyone actually had any success getting back with a partner after a breakup?
Also I'm 24 and she's 19 fyi.

PS: If this doesn't warrant an individual thread but instead belongs in the relationship thread then apologies.

Thanks in advance
Last edited by vayne92 at Mar 19, 2017,
#2
I got to sentence two and


no.
Last edited by TheChaz at Mar 19, 2017,
#3
Honestly from your description it is possible. I can't count the number of times I have had arguments with my girlfriend over pointless little things and I've been with her for 10 years. Unless one of you has done something the other sees as unforgivable then, assuming you are both willing to try, it is absolutely possible.
#5
It's well worth trying in your case. I wouldn't even call it broken, just you two being annoyed and needing some time apart. Good luck! "It never works again," is something I only started hearing a couple of years ago and I think it's because people read three or four severe examples on the internet and think it applies to everything.
#6
"all the little things"

like your tiny junk olololol

OT, the way you stop little things from building up is to talk about them. If your relationship is solid, then it can cope with the little things, as long as you deal with them.
Quote by Diemon Dave
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#7
duct tape and super glue
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#8
Or if you hook up Joshua Garcia with her digits he can fix it.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#9
nah homie. but the struggle is real. you wanna believe it can be fixed cos it's easy to just go back, but tell her you need space like the galaxy. maybe one day you can be friends. one day you'll find someone who will make you understand that relationships are either broken from the beginning or strong 4ever.

also nobody really knows the answer cos all relationships are different. but i think you know, and i think that's why this thread was made, but you gotta decide homie. just know that after like a week, your body starts going into love withdrawal and you start thinking irrationally. a couple months down the line, you will be thinking, god that relationship had to end.
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
Last edited by laid-to-waste at Mar 19, 2017,
#10
Quote by slapsymcdougal
OT, the way you stop little things from building up is to talk about them. If your relationship is solid, then it can cope with the little things, as long as you deal with them.
this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

in your case, it won't necessarily be fixable because nobody can really tell these things from outside but it does sound like nothing's really fundamentally fucked up in your relationship, as long as you start addressing the little things properly, which you will need to do in any relationship
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3d9310rd is far more upset than i 
#11
But if every thing is a little thing, then that's a lot of little things which is almost like a big things. Death by a thousand paper cuts.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#12
Yes, it is possible... but it's more a matter of whether you're willing or not.

What a lot of people don't realize is that relationships are an ever-changing commitment that requires work. You need to comunícate things in order to prevail. You have to be able to do this in a constructive way. This means doing so in a way that shows respect for the other and establishing a two-way communication system. Just because one person says something doesn't mean the other understands or is on the same page. You two have to be clear about things. What you say, what you hear, what you interpret, and your reaction.

It sounds tedious, but it's necessary. Also, realize that you won't always be on the same page or agree with the other. The best thing you can do is try to understand why you two disagree on the matter. Give yourself the other's perspective in order to have a clear view. Yes, there will be small fights and big fights, but if you're willing to talk back AND forth in a civilized manner and treat each other with respect, you should be fine. Remember, relationships aren't easy. They're not supposed to be all the time and it's those hard parts where you both get a chance to grow together.

Originally Posted by evening_crow
Quoting yourself is cool.


WARNING: I kill threads.
#13
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#14
Quote by vayne92

Also I'm 24 and she's 19 fyi.


well theres your problem

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I an evety characyer in this story
#15
I broke up with my wife (then girlfriend) for a month or so in high school. It was dumb of me and we obviously got back together.

Yes things can be fixed. It's up to you two to decide whether it's worth it.
My God, it's full of stars!
#17
Quote by whoomit
Someone's jealous.

Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#18
Quote by whoomit
Someone's jealous.


No, that's actually a pretty significant factor. It's not so much the age difference directly so much as it is being at different places in life. At 19, you're in the first half of higher education, don't really have to be independent, are just starting to figure out your life, etc. At 24, you should be done with undergraduate studies at least, be starting on a career, be living in or looking for your own place, should have your life somewhat figured out, etc.

Age differences are especially critical in that 18-25ish range since that is where some of the fastest and most profound changes in life occur. By being at different stages of life, they can have very different and conflicting needs in both life and their relationship.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#19
Quote by theogonia777
No, that's actually a pretty significant factor. It's not so much the age difference directly so much as it is being at different places in life. At 19, you're in the first half of higher education, don't really have to be independent, are just starting to figure out your life, etc. At 24, you should be done with undergraduate studies at least, be starting on a career, be living in or looking for your own place, should have your life somewhat figured out, etc.

Age differences are especially critical in that 18-25ish range since that is where some of the fastest and most profound changes in life occur. By being at different stages of life, they can have very different and conflicting needs in both life and their relationship.

I agree with you completely there.

Doesn't change the fact that he's jealous though.

I know I am.
#22
In that case, continue making fun of UND3RAGEDAYDREAM.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#23
Quote by 33db
vayne92
Women are like buses, another one will be along in 15 minutes.

And will have a jakey bastard passed out in the back?
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#24
Quote by 33db
vayne92
Women are like buses, another one will be along in 15 minutes.


Like this?

There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#26
The relationships that lasts are the ones which both parties are willing to change togather to love eachother over and over again.
Quote by arcanom
Mint and chocolate shouldnt be togather.
"Literally Worst Post of 2k16" approved by After Eight Lovers...
#27
Quote by arcanom
The relationships that lasts are the ones which both parties are willing to change togather to love eachother over and over again.

That's why the divorce rate in Western countries is 53 to 70% depending on area, and even worse in other non western areas.
And of the remaining percentage that does not divorce, the misery index is extremely high.
The truth, based on the evidence at hand, is that most people aren't meant to be in long term relationships, the very, very few that are, are a small bunch.

So for those of you that are young, get as much as you can, otherwise how else will you know what you want?
#28
Quote by M00NAGEDAYDREAM
well theres your problem

It's true. Add them up and you get 43, which is a prime number. And as we all know 'prime number' is just an anagram for 'bum riper men'.

It's not just that his girlfriend is younger, it's that she's not a very, very old man.
#29
33db 

i think its mostly because western culture presents magnitudes of different aspirations and life goals compared to easter culture. I live in a country that experiences both sides of the coin. If you are living in a small town with traditional values, all you are hoping for is raising faithful children and taking care of your business. 

However if you are living in a western culture, your life is much much more kinetic. As in an average millenial changes jobs every 2 years, is more individualistic than any other generation and is willing to pursue new paths. All these causes conflict between partners (as in you may want to move to some other place or job while your partner doesn't.)
Quote by arcanom
Mint and chocolate shouldnt be togather.
"Literally Worst Post of 2k16" approved by After Eight Lovers...
Last edited by arcanom at Mar 19, 2017,
#30
Quote by arcanom
33db 
However if you are living in a western culture, your life is much much more static. As in an average millenial changes jobs every 2 years, is more individualistic than any other generation and is willing to pursue new paths. All these causes conflict between partners (as in you may want to move to some other place or job while your partner doesn't.)

I don't think you used the word "static" correctly, even in cultures were divorce is low, the misery index is high.

For the OP, if you still want to be with her and she feels the same, cool... DO IT.
IMO as long as you aren't together go out and see what else there is, you will either move on, or come back together with a new appreciation.
#31
so db is the one before bc right
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#32
33db yeah thanks I always mix kinetic and static. Not sure if kinetic is used to define something that varies/moves alot but whatever.
Quote by arcanom
Mint and chocolate shouldnt be togather.
"Literally Worst Post of 2k16" approved by After Eight Lovers...
#33
Quote by arcanom
33db yeah thanks I always mix kinetic and static. Not sure if kinetic is used to define something that varies/moves alot but whatever.

I think "erratic" would be the best descriptor of millennials.
#35
Quote by 33db
I don't think you used the word "static" correctly, even in cultures were divorce is low, the misery index is high.

For the OP, if you still want to be with her and she feels the same, cool... DO IT.
IMO as long as you aren't together go out and see what else there is, you will either move on, or come back together with a new appreciation.

In the butt.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#36
Quote by 33db
I think "erratic" would be the best descriptor of millennials.


Only people don't like millennials because they aren't as predictable as previous generations and if you can't predict something's behavior, it is harder to exploit or control.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#37
Millenials are obnoxious and whiny. Thankfully Generation Z is looking to compensate for us by being the most based generation
.
#38
Quote by theogonia777
Only people don't like millennials because they aren't as predictable as previous generations and if you can't predict something's behavior, it is harder to exploit or control.

Well... I shouldn't make such vast generalizations by using a generational designator, so shame on me.
Saying "they aren't predictable" is another way of saying erratic, unpredictability as a positive value only exist in a few situations, such as war.
But the truth as I see it, so many of them are easily manipulated by social media, by concepts and ideologies proven wrong long ago.
But some of them are our saving grace, it's just that in my slice of humanity I meet so few of those.

Dear OP, go rut your socks off then level out somewhere around 30 and you will know what you really want, or at least what you don't.
#39
Quote by Fat Lard
Millenials are obnoxious and whiny. Thankfully Generation Z is looking to compensate for us by being the most based generation

According to the Urban Dictionary "based" means not giving a fuck what others think, not really high on the list of virtues.
Being a part of something larger than yourself is better, individualism (as it seen today) is highly over rated.
#40
Every time you find a small nuisance you dislike about your partner, get a sharpie and scrawl it into a list on your bedroom wall. Have them do the same.


Guarantee you it'll the relationship faster and you'll be traumatized for a good while.
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