I am playing in multiple bands, each with a different style of music. I have written quite many songs with these bands about 30 songs combined. I have gigged with them it's all good.
But it just always feels like it's me vs rest of the people in the band/bands. Since this feeling is consistent across the bands I understand that it's most likely me not them.
It's not as sharp as it sounds, but it's there. It's like everything that I do I need to convince everyone constantly.
The thing is no one takes any initiative, when I try to drive things forward I get to deal with resistance.
Has anyone felt like this ? how do you deal with this feeling? It's like you really want to do something, but don't have the energy to convince everyone, but you cannot rest untill it's done.
All this is quite demotivating.
Well the first thing to learn is that you can't depend on other people for your own creative output. If people don't like the parts you've written, you either have to compromise and let the song live its own life, or find a way of recording it on your own with the parts you like best.

If you feel that your music is a "whole package" kind of thing, you may do best to write/record songs in their entirety and then find people who also like those parts and are happy to play them just as they are written. And if they enjoy the stuff you've written, there's also a good chance you'll enjoy the parts that they write when you bring incomplete ideas to them.

But at the end of the day, if you're not feeling the groove, it's probably time to move on and find musicians you have real chemistry with. Chemistry is more than just being able to jam with people, it's a sense of musical trust. It's sharing a musical intuition. Bands with good chemistry don't even need to look at each other to cue transitions, they just all share a sense of musical direction and know that every other person is going to something awesome.
it's pretty common with local bands. just comes with the territory of being involved with people who aren't sure if they want music to be their hobby or a serious pursuit

my current issue is that my group is treating it like a serious pursuit but not actually doing their end of the deal, which leads to last minute schedule changes and fuckarounds that i haven't appropriated into my time since it's just a minor venture i allocate a day or 2 a week towards fulfilling. my solution is basically to fill out our gigs and go separate ways while i look for musicians that are on my wavelength

quitting isn't the only option though - use your gigs and local events to network like crazy. there's bound to be at least one person you really groove well with

also gonna say, this is all assuming you're trying to a pure fun, artistic goal. if you wanna make money, be prepared to just grin and bear it
modes are a social construct
It just means that:

(a) You're the / a bandleader, and want to push the band further; and
(b) Your bandmembers aren't committed and you need to find new ones.

Is it a new feeling? Remember those group projects in high school and only one person did the work?
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
I am not actually a band leader type character, I just like writing riffs and want others to contribute to it with whatever they got. I am very accepting about what others want to play. And that's where it goes wrong, I don't like it when others try to introduce major changes into my original idea. Then it defeats the purpose of me being in a band, I could have completed the song by myself and since I wanted others to contribute, it goes to the point that original idea is lost in the oblivion.
This democracy thing is not going well in the band context.
Quote by leenux5030

All this is quite demotivating.

Demotivating to you? Or demotivating to your band mates encouraged to collaborate on band music from you claiming

"I am very accepting about what others want to play"

resulting in

"I don't like it when others try to introduce major changes into my original idea"?
Quote by reverb66
I'm pretty sure the Bible requires that you play through a tube amp in Texas.
I understand. When you start writing you get emotional connections to the things you write. As you write more, you care less.

I'd try out poeple's ideas, have a listen, see how it sounds. If the band thinks it sounds better with the idea, keep the idea. If not, go back to the old idea or try something else.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
If there are specific things you want to hear, the best thing you can do is get it worked out ahead of time, maybe even recorded, so that you have something for people to play.

But if the issue is that you don't like what they come up with on their own, well that's just bad music chemistry and there's little point in trying to make it happen. If you don't trust your bandmates to make good decisions with the music, why keep playing with them? When you find good musical partners, you actually want to share ideas with them because you really enjoy their contributions.
Last edited by cdgraves at Apr 3, 2017,