Poll: Is online dating the best way to find a partner in a rapidly evolving cosmopolitan society
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View poll results: Is online dating the best way to find a partner in a rapidly evolving cosmopolitan society
Yes
5 25%
No
11 55%
Other
4 20%
Voters: 20.
#1
I joined Tinder but I'm living in the middle of the woods now so there's little chance that I get a date. And I need to match before being able to even think about that :'(

Give tips and discuss the future of human courtship.
#2
Living in the middle of the woods doesnt help you at all whether its tinder or a bar.

That said ive banged a couple girls off of tinder before. Its usually used to that though. Not saying you couldnt find the love of your life on there, a friend of mine met his girl on tinder and has a great relationship with her, but i find that most people on tinder want to bang and thats it or are looking for attention and arent serious.
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#4
Online dating seems like an easy way to one night stand randoms. So, if that's your goal, then go ahead. I personally wouldn't get into an longterm relationship with somebody I met on tinder, but not everyone online is fake, untrustworthy, etc. there are lots of genuine people out there.
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#5
I used to think online dating was bad, but now it feels like an easy way to find someone you probably wouldn't find otherwise. Idk I'm just having tons of fun swiping, lol.
#6
Quote by Minicaxotinho
I used to think online dating was bad, but now it feels like an easy way to find someone you probably wouldn't find otherwise. Idk I'm just having tons of fun swiping, lol.

You'll go blind, son.
#7
here my guide to tinder.

tinder is mostly bad for romance... tinder makes you categorise women as lefties or righties, making the whole thing generally just a sexual persuit, or sometimes to make friends. but even the friends thing will be complicated. but here's the real reason why tinder is bad for romance: the little interactions you have on tinder make you less likely to take opportunities in real life when you see a girl that you want. you will have got your 'fix' so to speak, so you *may* not stop to talk to a girl at a stand who is cute who asks if you wanna donate money, when you could've connected with someone in real life. you're 100% likely to know if you're attracted to someone in real life, but on tinder, you may be attracted to a girl's 'profile', but really you have no idea whether you will get along until you meet them. this makes tinder a risky game cos you can potentially have a bad time out with someone. 

but if u wan just fuck bitches without any effort then use it if you want. 

in the case that you will continue to use it, remember it's all about the profile pictures, and a short funny bio, and start with 'Hey' or 'Hi', maybe followed by a 'you're cute' or 'you're hot' etc, but don't use some line because they never work. Hi works the best
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#8
It generally sucks. You can't get a good idea of someone's personality until you actually go on a date with them which makes the whole thing a bit awkward IMO. It is fun to quickly judge hundreds of people tho
#9
I've used OKCupid for a about a year and a bit. I've had very few dates but made some decent friends. I say don't knock it till you try it but I don't invest heavily enough in it to be disappointed by it. The few dates I've had were great times even if they didn't lead places.
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#10
I used to think it was bad, too, but I know at least two people who are in serious relationships with people they met on OkCupid, & it seems like every single twenty-something I know is on one or more dating apps, so it's either not just for pathetic losers (like me), or everyone I know is a pathetic loser (highly possible). I'm not sure lurking profiles & messaging strangers is much less awkward & uncomfortable than trying to talk to people in real life, but it beats trying to hit on women at the library or something. I am now actually kinda interested in that book Aziz Ansari wrote with some sociologist about modern romance.
#11
Quote by slapsymcdougal
You'll go blind, son.

Swipe up if you like this person

Now swipe down if you like this person
And up again
And down
And up
And down
...
#12
Do any of you who have tried "serious" (read: not hookup) online dating feel there is a stigma attached to it? My parents got together that way (divorce --> remarry) and ae a-ok about it, but sometime people around me seem to drop a bit of a prejudice against it in their conversations about dating.

anyway. My preference is for relationships that develop totally organically out of close friendships, however outside of education and other such circles this seems an increasingly difficult path. I'm kind of "scared" of forced dating where one has a checklist by their side, which is how much of it seems to me. I kind of wonder what the point of meeting is at all for those kinds of dates. But I'm not opposed to trying online dating if my want for sex becomes outweighed by a want for companionship.
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#14
Met my girlfriend on Tinder. We've been together for over 2 years now and we'll be moving in together this summer.
#15
Banjocal
I feel like there is not so much a stigma as there used to be (see above). And I don't think everyone is looking for either a hook-up or to get married asap, you can just go on casual dates & maybe it leads to something & maybe it doesn't. At least that is what I am hoping. I would like a relationship to develop organically irl, too, but I don't even know how to make friends as a post-grad adult, & all the women I would want to date have boyfriends, so I might as well meet some new people lol.
#16
Quote by Banjocal


anyway. My preference is for relationships that develop totally organically out of close friendships, however outside of education and other such circles this seems an increasingly difficult path. I'm kind of "scared" of forced dating where one has a checklist by their side, which is how much of it seems to me. I kind of wonder what the point of meeting is at all for those kinds of dates. But I'm not opposed to trying online dating if my want for sex becomes outweighed by a want for companionship.

I prefer it to be 'more organic' (perhaps the distinction is arbitrary) as well.
Certainly not to take away from the good things it brings others, but online dating to me implies this structured process which is perhaps not as obvious otherwise. And that in turn leads me to this idea that the relationship becomes an 'end product' of sorts that can be acquired if the right steps are followed (place item a in slot b to assemble relationship) rather than just a collection of shared experiences.
When I think about it, I realize that this distinction is probably void and both ways probably form the same end product/experiences, but I think that deep within me (very, very, very deep, covered in the rotting byproducts of nihilist humour and borderline offensive attempts at applied philosophy) there might be this ignorant romantic that controls a tiny fraction of my thoughts.
#17




#18
Banjocal 

maybe this is because im a virgin and I don't know what sex is like but hey, for me, porn definitely helps with the lack of sex. 

Tinder at first had me loving it because I managed to match with a girl I know in uni that I really liked, but then when we were messaging she never wanted to arrange a time for a date and eventually unmatched me. Other times has just been a couple of other matches that were cuties but when you message them they reply once and then never again. And more recently, noticing a hell of a lot of accounts clearly not real or around my area parameters so I'm bascially wasting my time on there.

Honestly, I'm not far from giving up on it. It's making me feel worse about human interaction.
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#19
Quote by Minicaxotinho
I joined Tinder but I'm living in the middle of the woods now so there's little chance that I get a date. And I need to match before being able to even think about that :'(

Give tips and discuss the future of human courtship.

Can't tell you about Tinder, it came out after I was already dating my wife. 

However, I met my wife via OK Cupid.  Can't sing the praises of online dating enough.  I wasn't even looking to seriously date, just looking for hookups.  However, the dates I got from it were all above average at least, and I ended up meeting a lady great enough to marry.  

You can filter out all the dealbreakers and emphasize your values, then sort them by any metric you want.  Not that assigning metrics to people is the way to go, but categorically you're only going to be talking to people who will have a better than average chance of being a good match for you.  I generally was pretty good at meeting women and dating before I got on OK Cupid, but the results were as much a mixed bag as anyone else.  Online dates already go through some measure of quality control.  

It's definitely the most efficient.  
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#20
It's definitely more common than non-online dating among my friends/acquaintances where I currently live. I don't use it since I'm in a relationship but I imagine its appealing​ because it's faster to figure out who you might want to go on a date with instead of ensuring you have enough time to hang out with people in person for relationships to develop organically.

All 6 couples I know who are getting married this year met on tinder or ok Cupid, with the exception of one arranged marriage. But online dating things are pretty similar to the idea of arranged marriage anyway.
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#21
it's serious business, son. you really want some chicks kid asking if you're his new daddy? you like it when it burns when you piss? I recommend getting a job at kentacohut or something. lots of easy action working in those joints.
#22
Too lazy to go over this again so here's what I said the last time it was brought up

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1701656&page=66#2629
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#23
I'd recommend avoiding Tinder for dates and using OKCupid (or another such service) instead. First off, Tinder's only good for heavily-populated areas where there's variety. Another thing is the kinda person using Tinder (or more accurately the kinda person you turn into when using Tinder) is an aloof and barely interested opportunist who's got little reason to talk to someone about anything. Seriously, it's hard to give a crap on Tinder. It's not good for more than hookups most of the time, and living in a sparsely-populated locale won't help there.

That isn't necessarily bad, if you're just looking for sex then by all means, but the advantage online dating platforms give you is understanding whether the other person is worth expending the effort on. You get to know them before getting to know them, if that makes sense. Vice versa. Tinder's about expediency.

The most recent thing I learned about Tinder is that you don't exactly get to know who the other person is from the app, even if they wrote a little blurb about themselves. Because the other sites encourage users to go into some depth and sort of present themselves in a more static way, you learn more about them through what they aren't trying to tell you before deciding whether you want to interact with them. Whereas Tinder encourages curation because the info the other person provides isn't numerous.
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Apr 2, 2017,
#24
If memory serves, dating is more fun when the people doing it are actually located in real physical proximity to each other, and aren't merely having some sort of cybernetic virtual encounter. But maybe that's just me. 
#25
I met my wife through online dating.  Like most women, she was doing 3-4 websites (free version only to boot), and was just receiving nothing but pervy comments.  She came on to the website I was using, and was on for a total of 10 min before I sent her a nice, yet unusually indifferent (for her), message that she can talk to me if she wants.....or not.  That I could care less what she chose   

We met a few weeks later, hit it off right away after she tried to play too cool for the room and I made her pay for her own dinner, and laid a big fat one on her after I invited her into my big jacket, lol.  I asked her to marry me a year later, and we just got married this January.  

Be confident, don't appear overly interested in everything they say or do, and have good pics of yourself on standby.  


Btw, Tinder is not a dating site.  It's a let's meet and fuck site
#26
I spent ages fucking around on dating sites and getting into those weird, borderline digital relationships with people where you just talk all the time over chat. 

It sucked. 

Then I started going out again, taking care of myself and actually just asking girls if they wanted to go out for a drink with me. Lo and behold, things have started doing better immediately. 
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#27
Quote by Minicaxotinho
I joined Tinder but I'm living in the middle of the woods now so there's little chance that I get a date. And I need to match before being able to even think about that :'(

Give tips and discuss the future of human courtship.

So you're swiping through bears and elk?

I say use both and maximize your odds, but focus on the real life gals.
I don't use tinder, but I never got the impression it was for relationships.
#28
I find dating frustrating in general.  I smashed a couple girls off Tinder and seriously dated one a bit under a year which was GREAT for the first few months and than downhill from there. I think I missed the big goldrush off Tinder and jumped on a little too late.  Since breaking up with that girl about a year and a half ago I've been on various apps and probably gone on (no exaggeration) about 30 dates in the past 18 months (about 80% from online, rest meeting in real life) and I'm still single.  I've probably gotten about double that in phone numbers and those didn't even get to a first date.  Most of these convos just die for no reason you can see.  The problem is that with all these apps we now live in this time of instant gratification and if the woman doesn't like one tiny thing about you than she's got 30 other guys waiting.  In some cases I do the same, always chasing the next, better thing.  Very hard cycle to break. 
Last edited by risingforce1 at Apr 3, 2017,
#29
Tinder seems too Before: (__*__) After: (__0__) for me, I would use a web based site if I was going to do that at all.
My past experience with online dating (other than IRC) is that portly women seem attracted to me, and I don't care for people with unhealthy lifestyles.

I must be at some magical age because I frequently get approached by women IRL trying to chat me up, happened again this Sunday when I was out for coffee with a friend.
Seems no shortage of divorced women around my appropriate age group.
#30
Didn't try Tinder at all, seemed like it was mostly for sex, and I was looking for a relationship. Of the dating sites, I liked OKCupid best. I've been dating someone from that for 3.5 years now. 
I don't think there's much stigma these days, since it seems like most people know at least a couple people that have used online dating successfully.
#31
don't know a thing about Tinder but i've had fairly good luck on Match.com.  mind you this wasn't with just a quick hook up in mind. i've found for guys at least that the surest road to success is to A) make an honest profile that isn't just saying why you are great. i threw in a couple of minor faults and the woman seemed to like that. B) put up your profile and let the girls respond to you. one thing i've found is that girls no matter what get a ton of responses. often these are from guys that are way older than they are and didn't really read their profiles. if one responds to you it means they are actually interested. 

as for stigmas well you can sit at home with no women or just do it to it. i got some shit at first but after i got woman my single buddies had to shut up. 
#32
I don't see what's the point since my hands aren't on Tinder anyways.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#33
Went on for a relationship last year. No decent girls so started hookups. had a girl who was hot but ended up escorting after seeing me, another who carried a knife and did drugs in my flat, another who squirted constantly, and a final one who was having an affair, fell in love with me left her husband
#34
I just voted to contribute to the penis poll
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There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#35
OP, I feel your pain.
The place I live, one guy at work calls it "The place where dreams go to die".
I live about 50 - 60 miles from a metropolitan area (Reno, Nevada).
I drive 40 or so miles from work.
While I can't recommend it with 100% confidence, I use work for my dating pool.
And given that there is supposed to be about 6000+ people working there by 2020, my dating pool is concentrated in a small area.
Dating some you work with gives you the opportunity to get to know and see someone on a regular basis.
I have had very good luck with this over the years.
Of course it could totally bite you in the ass.
#36
Quote by CodeMonk
OP, I feel your pain.
The place I live, one guy at work calls it "The place where dreams go to die".
I live about 50 - 60 miles from a metropolitan area (Reno, Nevada).
I drive 40 or so miles from work.
While I can't recommend it with 100% confidence, I use work for my dating pool.
And given that there is supposed to be about 6000+ people working there by 2020, my dating pool is concentrated in a small area.
Dating some you work with gives you the opportunity to get to know and see someone on a regular basis.
I have had very good luck with this over the years.
Of course it could totally bite you in the ass.

That's what we're hoping for.