#1
Me and 3 other friends of mine decided to start a rock and metal group and we even went as far as recording some original material (but without drums but I'll get to that soon). Lately I feel as though the group has lost its will to keep going as rehearsals and recording sessions are never discussed anymore, even though I have tried to get everyone together on multiple occasions. Also the band members themselves have their own problems entirely.

The drummer, the supposed leader of the band, has not played the drums for over 3 years, and once he bought a £60 drum kit, he started playing again. The drum kit is missing a crash cymbal, it's entirely out of tune, and the drummer himself simply doesn't practise enough.

The bass player has played the instrument for just a year now, and he is rather good at playing the instrument; the problem lies with his mentality and musical tastes. The only band he listens to is Metallica, which annoys seeing as he won't give much else a try to see what else can inspire him. He also isn't communicative, nor does he believe he can get any better at playing the bass guitar despite the aforementioned circumstances.

The rhythm guitarist doesn't talk to the band for highly extended amounts of time, and when he does it has nothing to do with how we are going to progress as a group, which would include new material, the next recording sessions etc.

I feel as though I take music as a possible career far more seriously than any of the others in the band and none of them seem to wonder when we're next getting together to play anything that doesn't consist of For Whom The Bells Tolls over and over again. I also differ from them musically as they're more interested in playing and writing metal music, when they want to; I am more of a hard rock and blues rock player although I do enjoy metal.

It's a difficult situation seeing as they're my friends yet we don't seem to have as much in common anymore, nor do we seem to have the same mindset with anything to do with music. I'm not entirely sure on how to deal with this situation; can anyone suggest anything?
#2
Sure - are you playing any gigs? It doesn't look like it. Regardless of the skills or work ethic of your bandmates, if you don't have gigs, they'll lose interest and quit.

If you actually want to know if you can do anything with this band as a longer term thing, to me it sounds unlikely. Just as a roll call:

- Drummer - doesn't really play drums, and has no interest in doing so
- Bass - isn't interested in improving himself (his listening habits is your issue, not his)
- Rhythm guitar - doesn't want to talk to anyone, likely doesn't want to be part of the band
- You - pushing recording and practices with no gigs booked

^^^ It's clear this band isn't going to stay together. I'll guess rhythm guitarist would quit first (doesn't feel the vibe), then drums (don't have time for this), then some sort of fight between yourself and the bassist over his listening habits.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#3
AlanHB I might just start a new project with different people, and see how that goes. Thank you for the input.
#4
Seems like you have friends who just like the thought of being in a band and not actually doing the hard work to make that happen. OK so move on. That's how my first band was formed and within a year we decided to just be friends and I went on to play with others. They all put their gear in a closet and that was the end of it for them. Keep your friends as friends and find musicians who already know how to play and have that desire to get better. If you have to talk people into playing and rehearsing, it's a pretty good sign that they are not really interested and nothing you can say or do will change that. It will only lead to your own frustration and effect your ability to advance. It's a waste of time and talent.

I think you have the recording thing turned around. First you form or get in a band, then you rehearse intensely till you have something tight, cohesive and worth recording. The band should know the songs inside and out and be able to play them without thinking. Only then do you start recording. How can you expect to record when you don't really have a band. Recording too early in a bands life is usually a discouraging mess and will actually bring the band down when they hear how amateurish it sounds. Recording is the last step to take when putting a new band together. I have horrible recordings of bands I was in that were not ready to do any serious recordings. Even I can't face listening to them. Too many musicians and bands think that there is magic in recording and "We'll sound better on a recording". In my experience it never works that way.
Yes I am guitarded also, nice to meet you.
Last edited by Rickholly74 at Apr 9, 2017,
#5
Rickholly74

I've not mentioned anything to the group about recording or rehearsing for over a month and they have no asked anything about it; at least I now know they weren't truly fussed about working together, but more just being able to say we were a band like you said.

So I've now quietly abandoned the project and I hope to work with better players who have the heart for it. Despite not following the usual method of rehearsing first and then recording, I enjoyed making music and I'll keep what I have to look back on when I'm more experienced.

Thank you for the help.
#6
Healthy bands gig early and gig often.  Bands that don't gig are dinosaurs looking for a tar pit.  Soon to be extinct.
"Your sound is in your hands as much as anything. It's the way you pick, and the way you hold the guitar, more than it is the amp or the guitar you use." -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

"Anybody can play. The note is only 20 percent. The attitude of the motherfucker who plays it is 80 percent." -- Miles Davis

Guthrie on tone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmohdG9lLqY
#7
Sounds like the band broke up, but no one is willing to admit it yet. Sometimes, it's best to just quietly move on. 

(Incidentally, that's identical to advice I got about my first marriage, shortly before my divorce.)
#9
gerdner
We'vr properly broken up as a band now, and I still remain in contact with the drummer. He's offered for me and him to have and jam in the new few weeks when we're not busy, to which I'd have to think about.
#12
jamesdbdn5 Good luck for the future dude - if you're serious about music this is just one of many bands you'll be in.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#13
I've given up with it all together. It was all just a simple case if trying far tok hard at one of the worst times possible. Everyone goes to university or full time work, rendering the idea of anybody pursuing a music career with me as an obsolete dream that simply isn't going to come true.

It was all never meant to be and it's something that's going to have to be accepted. The one thing I truly enjoyed doing isn't possible because no one has time anymore. I'm sorry for bothering you all about the whole thing, and wasting your time in the process. Thanks for trying to help, but it was never going to work.
#14
Dont give up the fight if you want to be a musician. Ive been in a couple bands but as we all grow older most of got kids, families, jobs and slowly ghosted away from music, fast cars and parties. Theres always band drama happening too. It's kind of sad too see but life opens up new adventures that you pursue. If someones heart is not in it you cant force it. I know a really talented musician who plays in multiple bands (good bands that play large gigs) and he still works a full time job. Im sure many on here do the same.
#15
jamesdbdn5 N8dagreat3 

Yep, I'm full time lawyer who plays in bands (around 40 gigs a year).

You'll generally find that if people want to do something, they'll make time for it. Things like university, jobs, girlfriends etc don't stop people from devoting 2 hours on one night a week to the band. That's totally on the person - they're just watching TV instead of playing guitar.

OP - if music means that much to you, just continue on, find the right people. If the people you find say "I've got X, can't do band", they aren't the right people.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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