Alright fellas,
As today is my first day back on UG in prettymuch a year, I decided to start off my renewed reign of shitposting by restarting yet an old thread that I did maybe a year and a half two years ago. Give me your best dirty or inappropriate joke so I can loudly laugh my ass off in the middle of the University's library where my student job is. Don't be shy. 
Edit: if it is not raunchy but still funny, fuck it. Tell me those too.
Originally posted by Joshua Garcia
I just come here to dick around.
And maybe occasionally wave my dick around.

My D is major
Last edited by jwmcdaniel97 at Apr 21, 2017,
Quote by soundgarden1986
hello yes what is irish and stays out all night

patio furniture

kablam thank you i will be here all week

That's not tasteless, just chuckle worthy.

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
My daughter started smoking

so i slowed down
Check out my band Disturbed
How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


My life is an inappropriate joke
tumblr | twitter | instagram
Quote by Rossenrot
Aig91 Atomizes Rossenrot Before Offering Mercy In Exchange For Wholesale Genuflection
What's the hardest part of vegetables to eat? 

The wheelchairs. 
What dose the sign outside of an out of business whore house say?? 

Beat it we'er closed. 
They can't stop us Let 'em try For heavy metal We will die!
What is black and white, and comes in little white cans??
Michael Jackson

What did one gerbil say to the other gerbil while walking past a gay bar?
Wanna go in and get shit faced?
"It's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war"
 Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? 

Because he can’t do stand up.
UG BLS Chapter.
What is Mary short for?

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