#1
Alright fellas,
As today is my first day back on UG in prettymuch a year, I decided to start off my renewed reign of shitposting by restarting yet an old thread that I did maybe a year and a half two years ago. Give me your best dirty or inappropriate joke so I can loudly laugh my ass off in the middle of the University's library where my student job is. Don't be shy. 
Edit: if it is not raunchy but still funny, fuck it. Tell me those too.
Originally posted by Joshua Garcia
I just come here to dick around.
And maybe occasionally wave my dick around.


My D is major
Last edited by jwmcdaniel97 at Apr 21, 2017,
#3
Quote by soundgarden1986
hello yes what is irish and stays out all night


patio furniture


kablam thank you i will be here all week


That's not tasteless, just chuckle worthy.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#5
My daughter started smoking


so i slowed down
Check out my band Disturbed
#6
How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#8
My life is an inappropriate joke
tumblr | twitter | instagram
Quote by Rossenrot
Aig91 Atomizes Rossenrot Before Offering Mercy In Exchange For Wholesale Genuflection
#9
What's the hardest part of vegetables to eat? 

The wheelchairs. 
#10
What dose the sign outside of an out of business whore house say?? 

Beat it we'er closed. 
They can't stop us Let 'em try For heavy metal We will die!
#11
What is black and white, and comes in little white cans??
Michael Jackson



What did one gerbil say to the other gerbil while walking past a gay bar?
Wanna go in and get shit faced?
"It's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war"
#12
 Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? 
 


Because he can’t do stand up.
UG BLS Chapter.
SDMF#UG001
SDMF#UG002-faqu
SDMF#UG003-pantera-nat124
#13
What is Mary short for?

SHE'S GOT NO LEGS AHAHABABABA
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