#1
I saw this guy in Franklin demonizing harlot women
In between his chicken tenders,
Labored-breathin' ass.
He must have been some sort of
Cosmic warrior
Brilliant mystic
To know just what women need to
do to serve with class.
Now he's mad.
A put down man.
He's such a real nice guy.
Just tryin' to help these bitches understand.

Trapped in the U.S.S.A!
I hate to give it away but hoss doesn't get out alive.
Trapped in the U.S.S.A!
Oh get me out of this place, if that's the deal then I'd rather die.

This one is big and thin-skinned,
This one's in love with his own kin,
This one cums when he sees armed men,
This one's tough on crime.
I saw this one in Dayton wailing like a fucking infant,
Screaming, moaning, crying
Because his wife prioritized.
Now he's sad.
Barely man.
He won't eat tonight.
It was a lie this promised land.

Trapped in the U.S.S.A!
I hate to give it away but nobody gets out alive.
Trapped in the U.S.S.A!
Oh get me out of this place, or hurry up,
Please just let me die. 
Poor advice.
#2
I like how you changed up second and fourth paragraphs. Anyways, nice work!
ESAD
#3
Huh. Moderately topical as these kinds of people are more easily seen now that the internet and public discourse have made clear these archetypes. Cheers to the details on the first and third stanzas. It's the second and fourth that the piece is hammy and over-dramatic. Nothing new there. Ah well.
I am a fake mountain.