#1
Hello, Blues player here and I have recently found myself plucking the string with my pick and index finger for a real twangy sound. I've heard many players do this in some form with their hybrid picking but I don't really hybrid pick. I just play a lick normally with my pick and then grab the string in between my pick and index finger and pluck a bend and it sounds great! But I am a very OCD guitar player and I don't want to do anything to wear my frets down hardcore. I don't use a capo on my electrics anymore because of the fret wear it causes. In my head this plucking technique couldn't be any worse for the string than bending and my BB King Vibrato style. Just wanted to get another opinion.
#2
It's an interesting question. I suspect that it would not make much difference, and I wonder if it might even be less damaging to pop the string flat against the fret one short time compared to grinding it against the fret, back and forth, as it vibrates or bends on a longer note. 

It seems wasteful to me to preserve your tools by not using them, or not making full use of them. Fret wear is normal, inevitable, and I don't see much point in denying yourself any reasonable musical techniques out of fear of it. Even if you shave six months off the 10+ year lifespan of your frets, you can refret with steel and never worry about it again. You can make your own decisions about the value here, but I'd like to suggest "play your guitar and don't worry about it" as a solution. 
#5
Roc8995 +1 Frets and guitars can be replaced. Making it sound the way you like is the whole point. Use it. That's what it's there for!
#6
I doubt it's smacking hard enough on the frets to do any more damage than bends.