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#1
Stalking isn't romantic

Pulling out a knife when you've been stabbed / removing a bullet from your body

CPR for eeeeeverything

Destroying New York City every other month
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Igor Stravinsky


You throw like a girl. A girl who is great at baseball and has a fiery passion for the sport.
#3
Everyone spends like 10 min brushing their teeth in movies
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#5
People getting knocked out and waking up like they didn't just experience severe head trauma

Honestly anything to do with injuries is like that. Fighting with broken ribs and hands. Running on busted legs. Taking bullets like they're paintballs.

Grabbing onto ledges while falling/grabbing someone who is falling. You know how fucking hard that is? Hell just holding onto a small ledge with one hand is really difficult and I'm m in decent shape
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#6
People crying and their faces don't get flushed because of all the makeup they're wearing for the shot.

Car isn't fast enough during a race/chase scene? > Change gear.

Car isn't fast enough during a race/chase scene? > Puts foot down.

Firing a shotgun one-handed without the force of the recoil breaking their wrist
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#8
Quote by seventh_angel
People in movies only pee for dramatic purposes.


"I love you"
*urinates*

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#9
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE

Car isn't fast enough during a race/chase scene? > Change gear.

Car isn't fast enough during a race/chase scene? > Puts foot down.
I was just watching a fast and furious marathon earlier. Don't know how I didn't think about these
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#11
defibrillators are not used to resuscitate a 'flatlining' person, they are used to stop fibrillations, hence the name.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defibrillation
As devices that can quickly produce dramatic improvements in patient  health, defibrillators are often depicted in movies, television, video  games and other fictional media. Their function, however, is often  exaggerated, with the defibrillator inducing a sudden, violent jerk or  convulsion by the patient; in reality, although the muscles may  contract, such dramatic patient presentation is rare. Similarly, medical  providers are often depicted defibrillating patients with a "flat-line"  ECG rhythm (also known as asystole).  This is not normal medical practice, as the heart cannot be restarted  by the defibrillator itself. Only the cardiac arrest rhythms ventricular fibrillation and pulseless ventricular tachycardia are normally defibrillated. The purpose of defibrillation is to  depolarize the entire heart all at once so that it is synchronized, in  the hope that his or her heart will resume beating normally. Someone who  is already in asystole cannot be helped by electrical means, and  usually needs urgent 
CPR and intravenous medication. There are also several heart rhythms that can be "shocked" when the patient is not in cardiac arrest, such as 
supraventricular tachycardia and ventricular tachycardia that produces a pulse; this more-complicated procedure is known as cardioversion, not defibrillation.
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#13
"I'll have a beer"

Walks away from the bar without paying
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#14
People just accepting that they have magical powers despite no prior evidence.


"It makes sense, I've always felt different."


Yeah mate, that's because you're a complete loser no one wanted to talk to. Obviously people are going to like you more now you can kill them with your mind powers on a whim.
It didn't take long to realise
The safest place was not her arms, but her eyes
Where she can't see you
For her gaze, it blisters;
Grey skin to cinders
#15
ITT a bunch of wussies. B| B| B|
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#16
Hanging up the phone without saying goodbye/giving any indication the conversation is over.
How does that not have severe social consequences?

*ring ring*
"bitch did you just hang up on me?"
#17
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Firing a shotgun one-handed without the force of the recoil breaking their wrist
also cocking a pump- or lever-action one-handed

like a twat
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Youre officially uber shit now.

Quote by StewieSwan
3d9310rd is far more upset than i 

Quote by Bladez22
I'm a moron tho apparently and everyone should listen to you oh wise pretentious one
#18
Also relevant

Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#19
Joshua Garcia
you mean you don't do that on the regs irl?
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Youre officially uber shit now.

Quote by StewieSwan
3d9310rd is far more upset than i 

Quote by Bladez22
I'm a moron tho apparently and everyone should listen to you oh wise pretentious one
#20
Bulletproof vests
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#21
Quote by K33nbl4d3
Joshua Garcia
you mean you don't do that on the regs irl?
Bruh that's my average Tuesday on my commute to work tbh
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#22


trivial in cartoons but not in real life

rip Kensai
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#23
Quote by seventh_angel
People in movies only pee for dramatic purposes.


No one ever pees (or poops for that matter) in any Star Wars movie.

Seriously I'm sure Darth Vader has a catheter/colostomy bag but what about everyone else.

Quote by Wolfinator-x
removing a bullet from your body


After removing a bullet from your body, using your teeth to pull a bullet from it's casing then using the gunpowder to cauterize the wound.
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

Last edited by Evilnine at May 30, 2017,
#24
Firing a gun without ear protection, especially indoors. Most action heros would be deaf
#26
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
People crying and their faces don't get flushed because of all the makeup they're wearing for the shot.

Car isn't fast enough during a race/chase scene? > Change gear.

Car isn't fast enough during a race/chase scene? > Puts foot down.

Firing a shotgun one-handed without the force of the recoil breaking their wrist

Cars only have 3 gears: second, third and fourth

Everyone leaves their car unlocked or running

Lock picking and hot wiring cars

Computer hacking and coding

Suddenly the go to guy despite being a nobody with only a few days experience
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#27
Getting choked by Anakin for 10 seconds and losing consciousness

Dying in childbirth from a broken heart in a world filled with magical powers and super intelligent robots that should be able to easily save you
#28
In all the generic comedies of the last 20 years the main character does something illegal or highly immoral but because at least something good came out of it, everyone is willing to forget about it or pull together to fix it and there are no legal or social consequences and in fact the main character is looked at as a hero.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#30
Quote by smithy15493
Getting choked by Anakin for 10 seconds and losing consciousness

Dying in childbirth from a broken heart in a world filled with magical powers and super intelligent robots that should be able to easily save you

Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#31
Quote by Evilnine
No one ever pees (or poops for that matter) in any Star Wars movie.

Seriously I'm sure Darth Vader has a catheter/colostomy bag but what about everyone else.
something something midiclorians
Quote by StewieSwan
Getting punched in the face
Punching someone in the face without breaking your hand for that matter
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Igor Stravinsky


You throw like a girl. A girl who is great at baseball and has a fiery passion for the sport.
Last edited by Wolfinator-x at May 30, 2017,
#32
Quote by Wolfinator-x
something something midiclorians

Bantha poodoo
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

#33
GUITARS

- Gibson ES-335 with a bigsby into a Fender Tweed Harvard, yet it sounds like an Ibanez through a Soldano with a booster pedal

- No tremolo bar, player does a bunch of whammy bar stuff

- Tremolo Bar, actor takes every opprotunity to play with it, even if it does not fit the music in the scene

- Serious rock band plays a pile of no name, knock-off, pawn shop gear well into their established career.

- Amateur Garage band decked out with $100,000 worth of music gear fit for a touring band despite living in the middle of nowhere in a house smaller than their older sister who lives in the city.

- Wow, I never knew Buddy Holly was a time traveler and bought a 70's Fender Stratocaster sometime in 1956!

SPEAKING OF THE SISTER FROM THE ONE BEFORE BUDDY HOLLY.....HOUSING

- Why is it in every sitcom, TV show, romcom, you have some young adult in their twenties or early thirties, living in some posh, fifth floor loft in the posh part of town? What is basically a large condo flat costing about $1.5 million in real life. It's even more ridiculous when the focus is on how poor they are, to the point of having some 1980's economy car that's rusted out.and falling apart. Either TV characters are the most house poor people that ever existed, or they have that dickhead rich uncle who will go buy them a nice place to stay, but can't be bothered to throw a couple thousand on a better set of used wheels.

- Yet somehow the parents live in a SMALLER house in the middle of nowhere that has not been updated since 1986,

- Somehow the HOA by that $750,000 L.A. home is allowing a trio of stoner office lackey's fill their yard with fridges and milk crates, but they get their panties in a wad when anyone else paints their house the wrong color or forgets to mow their lawn on time.

COMPUTERS/VIDEO GAMES

- PC Genre, OS, and Naming mismatch. You have a Macintosh 128 running Unix, a 486 DX based PC running some modern O/S like Windows 7 or XP, a Vax Station runs Snow Leopard, and in the early 80's you had some made-up Operating system running on a computer that is an Osbourne 1 without it's keyuboard, with a Commodore 64 acting as the keyboard, and a Black & White TV that somehow shows in color as the main display device. Also, this computer talks to it's owner, not like a computer, but like some kind of friend or lover or something. Because we all know Brother word processors run Linux and can play Nintendo "tapes".

- Yeah kids, daddy spent $450.00 of his hard earned cash to buy you a brand new XBOX One to play what!?!? That's right, Donkey Kong and Pac-Man for the Atari 2600 - $400 down the drain to play two of the worst 30+ year old arcade ports in gaming history that are not even naitive to the hardware (albeit emulatable). Sometimes they do it backwards too, nothing trippier than watching a pair of 20 somethings messed up on beer playing Halo with Atari 2600 joysticks. How doth one lead a pack of Spartans with ONE fire button?

CARS

- We've been driving to a place across town for five minutes while passing the same 4-5 buildings onver and over

- Somehow we find parking in New York, Seattle, San Francisco, or L.A. without having to hunt for it, on-street, right in front of our destination

- The car changed trim levels and years a few times during the trip in external shots

- Despite driving in a straight line our driver is turning the wheel back and fourth frantically like he's driving the squiggliest road ever, and if that guy just happens to be David Byrne, his steering wheel on that Chrysler (which is as big as a snail) has an X, Y, and Z axis to it.

- So the monster truck rally is going to let the local police force obscond with their star truck for a medium speed pursuit resulting in possible deaths of innocent people and millions in property damage county wide?

- So you can crash 2 cars head on and they explode with a fire the size of a building, yet if he's a law enforcement officer that sounds like Fred Flintstone, he can get hit by other cars for an eternity and his car just loses some parts.
My Current Mains
- 1996 Fender Jag-Stang with EMG Pickups
- 1998 Fender Jaguar with Cool Rails
- 1982 Hondo Paul Dean II (DiMarzio Super II X2)
- 2010 "Fender" Jazzmaster (Home built)
- 2013 Squier VM Bass VI (stock)
#34
Quote by Mad-Mike_J83
GUITARS

- Gibson ES-335 with a bigsby into a Fender Tweed Harvard, yet it sounds like an Ibanez through a Soldano with a booster pedal

- No tremolo bar, player does a bunch of whammy bar stuff

- Tremolo Bar, actor takes every opprotunity to play with it, even if it does not fit the music in the scene

- Serious rock band plays a pile of no name, knock-off, pawn shop gear well into their established career.

- Amateur Garage band decked out with $100,000 worth of music gear fit for a touring band despite living in the middle of nowhere in a house smaller than their older sister who lives in the city.

- Wow, I never knew Buddy Holly was a time traveler and bought a 70's Fender Stratocaster sometime in 1956!

SPEAKING OF THE SISTER FROM THE ONE BEFORE BUDDY HOLLY.....HOUSING

- Why is it in every sitcom, TV show, romcom, you have some young adult in their twenties or early thirties, living in some posh, fifth floor loft in the posh part of town? What is basically a large condo flat costing about $1.5 million in real life.  It's even more ridiculous when the focus is on how poor they are, to the point of having some 1980's economy car that's rusted out.and falling apart.  Either TV characters are the most house poor people that ever existed, or they have that dickhead rich uncle who will go buy them a nice place to stay, but can't be bothered to throw a couple thousand on a better set of used wheels.

- Yet somehow the parents live in a SMALLER house in the middle of nowhere that has not been updated since 1986,

- Somehow the HOA by that $750,000 L.A. home is allowing a trio of stoner office lackey's fill their yard with fridges and milk crates, but they get their panties in a wad when anyone else paints their house the wrong color or forgets to mow their lawn on time.

COMPUTERS/VIDEO GAMES

- PC Genre, OS, and Naming mismatch.  You have a Macintosh 128 running Unix, a 486 DX based PC running some modern O/S like Windows 7 or XP, a Vax Station runs Snow Leopard, and in the early 80's you had some made-up Operating system running on a computer that is an Osbourne 1 without it's keyuboard, with a Commodore 64 acting as the keyboard, and a Black & White TV that somehow shows in color as the main display device.  Also, this computer talks to it's owner, not like a computer, but like some kind of friend or lover or something.   Because we all know Brother word processors run Linux and can play Nintendo "tapes".

- Yeah kids, daddy spent $450.00 of his hard earned cash to buy you a brand new XBOX One to play what!?!? That's right, Donkey Kong and Pac-Man for the Atari 2600 - $400 down the drain to play two of the worst 30+ year old arcade ports in gaming history that are not even naitive to the hardware (albeit emulatable).  Sometimes they do it backwards too, nothing trippier than watching a pair of 20 somethings messed up on beer playing Halo with Atari 2600 joysticks.  How doth one lead a pack of Spartans with ONE fire button?

CARS

- We've been driving to a place across town for five minutes while passing the same 4-5 buildings onver and over

- Somehow we find parking in New York, Seattle, San Francisco, or L.A. without having to hunt for it, on-street, right in front of our destination

- The car changed trim levels and years a few times during the trip in external shots

- Despite driving in a straight line our driver is turning the wheel back and fourth frantically like he's driving the squiggliest road ever, and if that guy just happens to be David Byrne, his steering wheel on that Chrysler (which is as big as a snail) has an X, Y, and Z axis to it.

- So the monster truck rally is going to let the local police force obscond with their star truck for a medium speed pursuit resulting in possible deaths of innocent people and millions in property damage county wide?

- So you can crash 2 cars head on and they explode with a fire the size of a building, yet if he's a law enforcement officer that sounds like Fred Flintstone, he can get hit by other cars for an eternity and his car just loses some parts.

lol dork
PM me for newts
#35
In video games gravity, friction, wind, air resistance, etc often don't affect the trajectory of projectiles, particularly slow moving ones like arrows. I remember a certain part of Twilight Princess where you hit a pole about two inches wide with an arrow. The pole is on top of a building about a hundred feat high and about 200 yards away. Maybe farther. And you hit the pole by aiming straight at it when in reality gravity and air resistance would make that distance impossible, especially with the elevation of the target, and the tiniest bit of wind would cause the arrow to travel wide of the target. Considering that the flag on the pole is consistently moving and given that the town is in a narrow canyon with tumbleweeds blowing through, there is obviously more than the tiniest bit of wind.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#37
Bang bang
Bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang *reloads six shooter*

*cuts self because they can't remember if the knife is sharp*

Quote by Evilnine
No one ever pees (or poops for that matter) in any Star Wars movie.

maybe because nobody wants to watch that?
Same as we don't somebody sleeping for 6 hours. (Unless we have a hidden cam)
#38
Quote by whoomit
Bang bang
Bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang bang
Bang bang bang *reloads six shooter*
i'm sure this does happen but i think people assume it happens more than it actually does

probably more common with single- or two-shot weapons where the lack of a magazine can be a serious hindrance to badassery until you feel like making it a plot point

Quote by whoomit
Same as we don't somebody sleeping for 6 hours. (Unless we have a hidden cam)
it worked in the truman show
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Youre officially uber shit now.

Quote by StewieSwan
3d9310rd is far more upset than i 

Quote by Bladez22
I'm a moron tho apparently and everyone should listen to you oh wise pretentious one
#40
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Also relevant


That's your biggest problem with that show?

Why haven't they actually worked that into any Zelda games?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
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