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#1

UG SHARK TANK


Welcome to the Shark Tank.

Who are the Sharks? They're self-made threadstarting experts worth millions. Xiaoxi is a shrewd venture capitalist who made his fortune after selling his commemorative steering wheel company for over two billion dollars. Fat Lard came from an immigrant family before founding his children's toy empire selling Meme Magic to over five hundred million families. Dreadnought spent 20 years in prison before learning to commoditize toilet bowl hooch. He now has entrepreneurs in every maximum security prison in North America. bradulator took what started as his neighborhood Lincoln Logs enthusiast club and turned it into a building material empire. Rossenrot grew his fortune by ghostbusting the patriarchy. And JustRooster owns a mining company that digs for bitcoins inthe deepweb.



How This Works:
  • You propose an idea for a new thread.
  • Sharks will ask you questions about it, a la Shark Tank.
  • Present your case, argue your points for why your thread would be good.
  • If a Shark chooses, they can invest in your thread.
  • This basically means nothing.
  • However, you can say that your thread was backed by a UG Shark
  • This basically means nothing.
  • You can ask other requirements of the Sharks to participate in your thread.
  • However, the Sharks will require some sort of return on their investment.


FAQ's
Q: Why?
A: Why not?

Q: What if I just make a thread anyway?
A: That's fine, but not as fun.

Q: If I talk shit in this thread and don't participate, am I captain of the No Fun Police?
A: Yes, that's exactly what that means.

Q: Can I ask for money?
A: Yes. But you won't get it.

Q: So the point of this is to make ridiculous pitches for bad thread ideas?
A: Yes.

Q: If I don't, am I Captain of the No Fun Police?
A: Most assuredly.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#2
lol this is stupid
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#3
"All of UG's biggest egotistical shitheads get together and steal your thread ideas"
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#4
Quote by theogonia777
lol this is stupid

You will need to be more specific if you're gonna get my investment.
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
"All of UG's biggest egotistical shitheads get together and steal your thread ideas"

Hmmmmm this could work
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#5
Quote by bradulator
You will need to be more specific if you're gonna get my investment.

Hmmmmm this could work

As far as I'm concerned it's working right now
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#6
can i dunk every single candidate into the tank no matter how good their ideas are?

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#7
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
"All of UG's biggest egotistical shitheads get together and steal your thread ideas"


As if you'd present an idea worth stealing.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#8
Quote by JustRooster
As if you'd present an idea worth stealing.


as if any of you make threads worth thoughtful consideration lol
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#9
Quote by JustRooster
As if you'd present an idea worth stealing.

Quote by theogonia777
as if any of you make threads worth thoughtful consideration lol


Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#10
Quote by Xiaoxi
can i dunk every single candidate into the tank no matter how good their ideas are?

I'll make you chum, chum. Ain't a thing
Dunk you in a tank of sharks
Call me Yao Ming
Check out my band Disturbed
#11
Quote by JustRooster

I'm mostly just amused that FatLard has arms akimbo, twice, on the same body.
Last edited by Zaphikh at May 31, 2017,
#12
Quote by theogonia777
as if any of you make threads worth thoughtful consideration lol


You're a scrub.


"Favorite chords (with no context)." That's some hard hitting material there.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
Last edited by JustRooster at May 30, 2017,
#13
Quote by JustRooster
You're a scrub.



Nah, you're just bad at reading comprehension:

Quote by theogonia777
as if any of you make threads worth thoughtful consideration lol
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#14
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Nah, you're just bad at reading comprehension:


The results don't support the claim. I think your business model is very confused, and I don't think you've made smart past partnerships. For these reasons, I'm out.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#15
Quote by JustRooster
The results don't support the claim. I think your business model is very confused, and I don't think you've made smart past partnerships. For these reasons, I'm out.


Pfft like I care, you're like the Kevin O'Leary of shark tank. Pudgy, balding and insufferable.


Lemme talk to Daymond Xiaoxi
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#16
thread about trump and religion, with a little bit of racism and mexicans

all I ask is 2 dollars and you get 100% of the profit what do you say sharks
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#17
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Lemme talk to Daymond Xiaoxi
You hurl lots of insults. Unfortunately, all of them are minimum viable products that cannot even begin to compete with industry leaders.


...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#18
Quote by Xiaoxi
You hurl lots of insults. Unfortunately, all of them are minimum viable products that cannot even begin to compete with industry leaders.



Pretty sure pudgy, balding and insufferable people are quite viable actually considering theyre running the thread.


I think youre missing the bigger picture but then again youre only on shark tank to be the token ethnic guy.


Let me talk to whoever plays the chick this season
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#19
Quote by Zaphikh
I'm just mostly just amused that FatLard has arms akimbo, twice, on the same body.

It's actually a handicap, he becomes more dangerous with two arms.

Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#20
i'm looking for 1 billion dollars for a 2% stake in my thread about how dank memes appeal to millennials and how the world is worse off for it, i feel this is a hot topic and could possibly grow into a larger thread with arguing and top quality banter as well as generational shit slinging  
#21
Quote by JustRooster
You're a scrub.


"Favorite chords (with no context)." That's some hard hitting material there.


Your threads are sensationalist trash. More responses does not indicate quality in much the same way that youtube views don't indicate a song's quality. Besides, that thread hit some Moderator, or quaint excuse for one at any rate, hard enough to compel them to close the thread. Your threads are click bait tripe of no more substance than Cosmo regardless of the content of my threads or their quality. That it is to say that whether my threads are quality and regardless of number of your responses, your threads are rubbish.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#22
theogonia777 got under your skin, did I? Do you feel you've sufficiently established yourself to the community as a witty whistleblower "exposing me" enough to leave this thread alone?
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#23
Ego whore vs Ego whore


Everybody loses
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#24
I've been wanting to start a thread to get people's opinions on whether or not they like the smell of dick cheese

It's sensationalist, so it will get views, and it's odd enough to start biulding name recognition for my brand

Sex threads sell, and I think the smell angle is underepresented in the lowbrow thread market

Perhaps I could include other smells for a larger audience, like fingernail gunk smell or something.

I'm not trying to change the world, just trying to make my way through it.
#25
Quote by Duaneclapdrix
underepresented in the lowbrow thread market

#26
I propose a thread to address what will surely be Trump's next big taxpayer funded construction project which will be a massive wall on the U.S./Canadian border on the as well as a less massive wall at the Alaska/Canadian border, as I was informed by zgr0826 in another thread that it is not only the southern U.S. border that is being ignored by immigrants that choose to enter the U.S. without proper documentation.

Trump will of course brag that he will make Canada pay for the wall but they won't and the taxpayers will foot the bill.

Any thread about trump and a border wall is sure to be a HUUUUUGE shitpost. 

I don't require any royalties from this thread just an inspirational mention in the liner notes.
"A well-wound coil is a well-wound coil regardless if it's wound with professional equipment, or if somebody's great-grandmother winds it to an old French recipe with Napoleon's modified coffee grinder and chops off the wire after a mile with an antique guillotine!"
- Bill Lawrence

Come and be with me
Live my twisted dream
Pro devoted pledge
Time for primal concrete sledge

#27
Real purists know it as Dragons Den

brb

EDIT: Better thread
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: A bunch of forced listening by my composition teacher... some great stuff by Bach, Haydn, Mozart, Schubert, Liszt...


GTA V! ... the 120th game of the franchise.
Last edited by Wolfinator-x at May 30, 2017,
#28
Quote by JustRooster
theogonia777 got under your skin, did I? Do you feel you've sufficiently established yourself to the community as a witty whistleblower "exposing me" enough to leave this thread alone?


i am sorry that i did not stoke your ego immediately but unlike you i have real matters in life that needed attending
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#29
Quote by kalypto
i'm looking for 1 billion dollars for a 2% stake in my thread about how dank memes appeal to millennials and how the world is worse off for it, i feel this is a hot topic and could possibly grow into a larger thread with arguing and top quality banter as well as generational shit slinging  


I'm interested in this proposal. Best I can do though is 3 fiddy for 10%
.
#30
Quote by theogonia777
i am sorry that i did not stoke your ego immediately but unlike you i have real matters in life that needed attending


Okay, have a good one. I'll make sure to spend several posts assassinating your next thread and then pretend like I'm too busy.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#31
Well you did a good job being chicken and 'too busy' to post your playing in the peppers thread so you're probably a shoe in.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#32
Quote by kalypto
i'm looking for 1 billion dollars for a 2% stake in my thread about how dank memes appeal to millennials and how the world is worse off for it, i feel this is a hot topic and could possibly grow into a larger thread with arguing and top quality banter as well as generational shit slinging  


I'm interested as long as your model has room to yield ironic dank memes disavowing dank meme sharing. While I'm interested, it's not my fields. I'd do this deal with Fat Lard.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#33
I've given it some thought kaly, and while it's interesting to see where it'd go, I just don't see how I could invest in a thread that directly competes against my pro-meme ventures. And for that reason, I'm out
.
#34
If Lard is out I'm out. Can't compete on the meme platform.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#35
Someone should go on Shark Tank and propose to start an escort service, for all the right reasons, and set up shop at the top of Four Seasons
Quote by ElMaco
thread about trump and religion, with a little bit of racism and mexicans

all I ask is 2 dollars and you get 100% of the profit what do you say sharks

$1 for 250%
#36
thank god couldn't be fucked making a thread anyway i'm willing to sell the intellectual property though hmu with offers
#37
Quote by kalypto
thank god couldn't be fucked making a thread anyway i'm willing to sell the intellectual property though hmu with offers

I'll suck your dick 


Also a big mac if you want. 
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#38
kalypto Fax me a copy of the copyright by Friday and I'll give you a crisp, solid mention.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#39
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I'll suck your dick


Also a big mac if you want. 

ill take the big mac
Quote by JustRooster
kalypto Fax me a copy of the copyright by Friday and I'll give you a crisp, solid mention.

well i've had a few offers already, can you sweeten the deal in anyway?
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