My Hastily-Downed Parting Glass

Callow lilies bow down by the river
The moon ekes out a silvery sliver
This is how it tastes to give up:
Nightshade laced with a drop of blood
From a bitter tongue, swollen from biting
And a conscience tired of fighting
Last breaths marked with convulsions
A poisoned heart's final pulses

I thought there would be more regret
But that pang hasn't materialized yet
"How did it come to this?" they'll ask
But I'm afraid I'm not up to the task
To leave some bullshit apology
Not that words would remedy
My hastily-downed parting glass
And back-up draught in a flask

And the callow lilies, they genuflect
white-faced, give their last respects
I whisper the wind, sighing admonition
"Lead me not into perdition"
My face, glazed, gazing ever upward
With my stomach, now ruptured
Hallucinate like Medjugorje
As my consciousness slips away

This is my choice; I'll face the fire
If not forgiveness I acquire
From a God I have my doubts in
Compounding Original Sin
This is how it tastes to give up:
Drops of sacramental blood
The tinge of vomit in my gullet
And no apothecary to quell it

I wish to be back with my loved ones
Taken wholesale, daughters and sons
By cancer and similar suicide...
I'm at the gates, nothing to hide
Is there a God to forgive this fall?
Is there a higher power at all?
Callow lilies usher my soul in
Into what? What lies within?
I am a fake mountain.
Wow. This is nice. It's like a night out with the girls and you say Hello. It's a little dark and mellow dramatic...but I like it.