I'm usually a composer and like to write highly eccentric Electronic music. However I've been thinking about forming a band one of these days. Anyway I thought I could improve my melodic tendencies and songwriting skills by writing my own lyrics. Here's my first attempt at Metal lyrics but they're practically a joke based on an experience of mine (writing based on experiences is said to make lyrics more unique and personal).

This is a song about a very uncomfortable chair I sat in at my CIT (Computer Information Technology) class. It was brand new but kept hurting my butt. I soon switched back to an older chair (it was much more comfortable). My classmates nicknamed one of the older chairs, "The Murder Chair" and I chose that name (make me think of a mimic disguised as a chair, LOL). I did the lyrics partially in homage to Dethklok (I was a big fan of Metalocalypse but the show was sadly cancelled too early) in Season 1 of Metalocalypse (they commonly chose benign subject matter for Melodic Death Metal songs but exaggerated them a lot) but less harsh. The song's style is probably going to be Metal but not Melodic Death Metal. This song is mainly a joke but I worked hard on it anyway ...

Sitting on the Murder Chair
Your backside begins to tear 
Time to kiss your ass goodbye
This seat you can't bear
Sitting on the Murder Chair
Delivered in a box
Comfortable as sharp rocks
Constantly causing harm
Hitting someone's arm
Not a cause for alarm
They said it was new
I really might even sue
Verse 2
Chair is still giving pain
As pleasant as heavy rain
It's becoming my bane
How much did they pay
This chair shouldn't stay
Older chair is much better
I should write a letter

That's all I have for now. Please be gentle (these are my first half-way decent lyrics and I'm just a beginner). When I get a band and finish the song (still need to write the bassline and melodies), I'll probably post a link to this song.
"I don't know what you're trying to suggest. There's no shame in taking what you need to hold your position!"

Super Buu (DBZ) on assimilation (it could also apply to blues guitar and guitar soloing in general).
Levity can be a good thing, and it's quite effective when done properly. Furthermore, there's nothing wrong with normally-mundane subject matter delivered creatively. Practice is the prescription.

As it stands, the chorus could suffice: easy to follow and not needlessly verbose. With the verses, I'd work on the syllable count instead of making things rhyme for now. The images are a bit simple and flat, so I'd try to make them more vivid. Besides, some people enjoy hard rain, even being out in it. The piece needs work, but that's what revisions are for. Good luck and keep crafting!
I am a fake mountain.