Poll: What level of smart phone wanker are you? (ratings below)
Poll Options
View poll results: What level of smart phone wanker are you? (ratings below)
0
2 6%
1
1 3%
2
7 19%
3
11 31%
4
7 19%
5
8 22%
Voters: 36.
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#1
I was reading an article about dumbphones, and thought, damn, I hate the smart phone culture as much as anyone, but surely, depending on your age and social group, you almost need things like whatsapp, as all my friends organise going out on that, and using a phone as a music device is surely nothing new, but just consolodating two devices into one.

And browsing facebook when you're sitting waiting for someone, or using GPS and other basic apps isn't really the behaviour people should be complaining about, compared to having your phone out at a dinner table for example.

And then I thought, actually I use tinder, strava, vivino, which are all very modern tools. Am I a smart phone wanker? Nooo.. surely not, I'm not as bad as some of my friends, where sometimes we'll be sitting in a restaurant and 3 out of 5 of them will be on their phones checking instagram or messaging people.

But then I thought, I have decided I am OK compared to "most people." Let's get an idea of how bad most people really are... And we all know the Pit represents most, if not all people, right...?


If you tick any bullet point in a section, then that's your level of smart phone wanker.

0 - No interest in modern technology
I use my phone for:
  • Calls
  • Texts
  • Clock (incl. alarm)


1 - modern "dumbphone" use (ie. you'd be happy with the new 3310)
All the above + 
  • whatsapp
  • music playing device
  • Other basics such as calendar, weather


2 - Basic smart phone functions
Above +
  • emails
  • Check social media/dating apps as a last resort (eg. when you're waiting for someone who's late and you're super bored)
  • I browse the internet when I "need" to (eg. when travelling, to book the next place to stay, or to check opening times)
  • maps/sat nav


3 - Fairly into mobile tech
Above +
  • I browse the internet on my phone
  • I take photographs of significant events (eg. holiday snaps, see something cool whilst out/meet a celeb or whatever)
  • I read the news on my phone
  • I browse and very occasionally post on other social media (instagram/twitter etc.)
  • I use other apps for tools rather than entertainment (such as a remote control)
  • I watch videos/play games whilst pooping


4 - Loves mobile tech (whether you admit it or not), probably has or at least strongly considered a flagship device like an iPhone
Above +
  • I take photographs a lot (eg. your food, your friends on regular days/nights out, other things that nobody really cares about)
  • I post on social media (either occassionally or often)
  • I take photos/videos often to share on facebook/whatsapp/other social media
  • I play games and/or watch videos


5 - Fully fledged smartphone wanker 
Above + 
  • I take videos of concerts/events and other times when I really should just be enjoying myself/living the moment rather than worrying about recording it
  • I have had my phone out at the dinner table/restaurants
  • I have my phone out in the company of friends/family (eg. whilst at their house, or specifically out meeting friends, not counting if you live with them)
  • I'm on my phone for in bed before going to sleep for something other than preparing for sleep (ie. something other than setting alarms etc.)
  • I check my phone for notifications even if I'm not expecting anything/didn't hear it buzz/feel it vibrate
  • I walk down the street looking at my phone
#2
i aint reading that ugly ass post
Check out my band Disturbed
#3
"dumbphones" loool got em 
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#4
A better question would've been: "do you wank with your smart phone?"

Which is what this thread is about now.

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#8
2. I do occasionally take photos with my phone, but mostly only because it's something I want to share via FB/whatsapp, and getting an actual camera, taking the photo, putting it on the pc and uploading it takes too fucking long.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#10
well I do have interest in modern technology but guess I'm a 0
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#11
I still use a flip phone like a gosh darn troglodyte.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: The Police


Please excuse my proper spelling and grammar, English is one of my first languages.
#12
somewhere between 2 and 3

my main music player, and I use apps for maps, bus times, weather, bank account and browser for quickly looking up stuff.

occasionally go on fb or browser if I have some time to kill, ie pooping or waiting around. I don't do all of that other "3" stuff like taking photos, reading news, watching vids (only ever bring up videos if I see a gig on fb and cba to waiting until I'm at a computer to check out whether I'll like the bands or not and they don't have a bandcamp). uninstalled messenger since it kept raping my battery life and I wasn't using it, sometimes reinstall it if I'm in a convo with someone that is better for me to respond quickly though, but it gets uninstalled as soon as the conversation is done.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#13
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I still use a flip phone like a gosh darn troglodyte.

Those are so damn cool, def my favorite phones
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
#14
Quote by Gaz_m2k5
M00NAGEDAYDREAM How would one do that? Are there attachments I don't know about, or are you just talking about good old pornography?

stick it in yr. butt while wanking
#16
Im 4 or 5 fo sho
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#17
stupid thread 

everyone here like social media, music, photography, etc otherwise we wouldn't post on forums all day, everyday 

i don't use my phone in the company of others, unless it's in an acceptable setting like a concert (taking a few pictures never hurt anyone) 
but i definitely use my smartphone a lot, for many things, everyday 
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#19
Quote by k.lainad
stupid thread 

everyone here like social media, music, photography, etc otherwise we wouldn't post on forums all day, everyday 

i don't use my phone in the company of others, unless it's in an acceptable setting like a concert (taking a few pictures never hurt anyone) 
but i definitely use my smartphone a lot, for many things, everyday 

But the only one of those I do on my phone is photography, and even then, not much.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#21
gaz i didn't know you were 75 years old

what a shit thread
Last edited by institutions at Jun 13, 2017,
#23
Quote by k.lainad
stupid thread 

everyone here like social media, music, photography, etc otherwise we wouldn't post on forums all day, everyday 

i don't use my phone in the company of others, unless it's in an acceptable setting like a concert (taking a few pictures never hurt anyone) 
but i definitely use my smartphone a lot, for many things, everyday 

I detest "social media" and though this forum is technically "social media" it is not the sort to which I refer.

There should be an re-education camp for people that use their phones everyday.
#24
Quote by 33db

There should be an re-education camp for people that use their phones everyday.

why? what is wrong with using your phone everyday? 
I don't care for most "social media", but everything is online now,
 it's hard to stay connected and up to date with the rest of the world if you're not checking your sources daily, and sometimes using a smartphone is more accessible than being home with your laptop, TV, etc 
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#25
Quote by 33db
I detest "social media" and though this forum is technically "social media" it is not the sort to which I refer.

There should be an re-education camp for people that use their phones everyday.

While they're at it, they could build an education camp, so you can actually have a first shot at one.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#26
Quote by slapsymcdougal
While they're at it, they could build an education camp, so you can actually have a first shot at one.



Thats a little ambitious.
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#27
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Sorry that I enjoy being in contact with my friends and family 

keep yr hands to yrself mister

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#28
Quote by k.lainad
why? what is wrong with using your phone everyday? 

Go without it for a month.
#29
which level is the one where one fights with a gym on twitter and whines until they refund a months fee because one didnt read the terms and conditions of the contract properly 
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#30
Quote by 33db
Go without it for a month.

33db ITT


Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#31
Quote by 33db
Go without it for a month.

y tho
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#32
I'm definitely a 2. I do scroll through twitter on my phone some, but that's when I'm at like a fast food place by myself or in a waiting room. The only thing out of the higher ones I do is check my phone for notifications when I haven't felt it buzz, but that's because when I'm at work I'll feel it buzz, think I'll check it later, and completely forget about it, so I have to check every once in a while to make sure I haven't missed something more important like a text or phone call.
#33
33db Are you referring to the fact that I need whatsapp to have a social life?

If everyone was forced to use old school methods of communication then I would be fine, but as long as it exists, people will use it. If I was the only one not partaking in the group chats that my friends and I use to organise things, I would definitely be left out sometimes. Sure my close friends would probably call me separately if they knew I was actively not using whatsapp, but that would be a burden to them, and there would be times when it's not my close friends organising something but other friends, and they may not think to separately invite me.

Also before whatsapp, I definitely had less of a social life. My friends also agree. Apparently we were all sitting around too lazy to make lots of separate calls/messages to organise something. Sad? Yeah, I guess so, but whatcha gon' do. I personally hate making phone calls, and text is not a good format to organise 3+ friends going out.

institutions 
Looks like someone got 5/5 full smart phone wanker.

I am 3/5 myself though, I'm hardly "75." It does fuck me off to no end when my friends are on instagram at the dinner table, and they're like "oh look at this picture of a pug" and I'm like "are u fkn srs rite now?"
Not to mention I get lumped into that category. All my cousins will be on their phones and then my dad will get pissed off and do standard old person complaints, and then he'll later imply I was also doing it.

Tbh, on Christmas day I think of my friends want to send them messages, and most of Christmas day is round a dinner table, so it's easy to look at your phone at that dinner table. But if 6/10 people round a dinner table are looking at their phones, it's a sad state to be in.
#34
I'm a 2, I guess. The only time I use my phone for something other than phoney things is when I'm out somewhere and need to kill time or whatever. Also I didn't spend any money on said phone because it used to belong to my brother and belonged to my mum before that.

If you spent more than £0.00 buying your smartphone you are a 5
I have nothing important to say
#38
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Sorry that I enjoy being in contact with my friends and family 

Haha what kind of normal person likes being able to keep in contact with those they're close to! 
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#39
Got all the way up to 5 and don't feel bad at all, each level after the first few had at least 1 or 2 normal things mixed in, like yea, I've had my phone out while at a friends house before
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#40
4/5

I just ordered a new phone actually. How else would I stay in touch with you sweet children without it? And watch my funny fun time YouTube vids?

Also, my new job requires me to take pictures of sales leads people have signed up for in lieu of having to enter the data manually or using a traditional scanner (which I don't have at events).
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
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