To Where And What Land Of Folly

With a "Hallelujah" sigh against a mottled sky
Graces fall haphazardly inward
The structure stood on balsa wood
Foundation fatally injured
By carpenter ants who took the stance
That what's theirs lies at their feet
Thus finished by a Chandrasekhar Limit
An empire toppled by greed

What does it mean?

Depressive afterglow stains the days
And my pills can barely diminish
This entropy that weighs on me
The darkness of the day's beginning
My purpose in life? To burden my wife
With worries I'll jump before a train
On the worst of days when in a haze
The imp of the perverse rides my brain

When will it leave?

On a road that weaves and endlessly leads
To where and what land of folly,
Can I get rest, and at whose behest
Do I owe this disastrous body?
A distended belly of ignoble jelly
And stretchmarks around my navel
Are side effects of my mental wreck
Dictated by Abilifi's gavel

Where does this leave me?

My therapist fears I'll not last the year
Until at last I'm homeward bound
With faces to faces and warm embraces,
A place where the light will surround
For a few weeks and once again meek
Back to school or the dusty bottle?
I pray to be strong if this lingers on
I appreciate not being coddled

But where will it end?
Joy Division's "Day of the Lords"
My constant friend
Where will it end?
And will it end?
I am a fake mountain.