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#3
Quote by PSimonR
I had sex with my best mates mother when I was 12.

I was your best mate's mother when you were 12.
#4
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
Youre officially uber shit now.

Quote by StewieSwan
3d9310rd is far more upset than i 

Quote by Bladez22
I'm a moron tho apparently and everyone should listen to you oh wise pretentious one
#5
I tell my friends they're naturally that pert but I've actually had some work done
#6
I'm in love with aig91
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#7
what you need is a new amp 
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#8
Quote by zgr0826
My culture is worthless and absolutely inferior to the almighty Leaf.


Quote by JustRooster
I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
#9
I know what you did last summer
I have nothing important to say
#10
Sometimes these hips do lie.

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#13
Quote by Pastafarian96
I'm in love with aig91

 
tumblr twitter instagram
Quote by Rossenrot
Aig91 Atomizes Rossenrot Before Offering Mercy In Exchange For Wholesale Genuflection
#14
i got a secret for you --
i cut yr angel in two
i left her bleeding & soaked it with a dry sponge
#15
Quote by neidnarb11890
i got a secret for you --
i cut yr angel in two
i left her bleeding & soaked it with a dry sponge

Calm down, edgelord. 
tumblr twitter instagram
Quote by Rossenrot
Aig91 Atomizes Rossenrot Before Offering Mercy In Exchange For Wholesale Genuflection
#17
Behind my standard blank stoic look, I'm the thirstiest guy ever and think about banging pretty much everyone I meet.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#18
When I was 19 on my very first mini-tour we stopped by our drummers uncles house in Sacto.  Turns out, he was a Bandido.  We were fed hot dogs and beer, and watched them drop acid and listened to records.  That afternoon we took a trip to the grocery store with him and his other Bandido buddy.  Before getting to the store they stopped on an overpass, pulled out a shotgun, and fired a couple rounds into the passing cars below.  They laughed all the way to the grocery store.  We were panicked, 19 year old punk kids in over our heads.  They then told us they were blanks and were fucking with us.

Month or so later a newscast in that area covered a story on some guys shooting a shotgun at cars from a different overpass in the area.  Someone was shot but lived.  They had no leads and were looking for people willing to come forward.  I thought hard about calling because it sounded like it could be the same dudes.  But at the end of the day, I wasn't going to burn a Bandido who knew me by name.
"I definitely don’t write all my music in a blackout, like I used to, although I did come up with some good stuff in a blackout."
-Matt Fucking Pike
#20
I'm gay.
🍗🎹🎶🎼🎧🎤🎮👾🎸🎨🎷⚽️🎱🏁🎺🎻🍮🍰🍪📱👻🐔🐣🐥🐤🐽🐷💀👽💩💸🚽👻
#21
I found a dying bird in my garden when I was young, it had been mauled really badly by a cat, possibly by my own cat. I picked it up (with gardening gloves on) and put it in the shade of a tree, and sat with it while it died

I thought about killing it myself to put it out of its misery, but I didn't know how. Dropping a brick on it seemed cruel and I couldn't bring myself to wring it's neck, so instead I decided to try my best to comfort it so it wouldn't die alone at least. When it stopped breathing I covered it with the brick/slab of concrete I was debating dropping on it

This is the first time I've told this story which makes it a secret I guess. it was my first real experience with death, where I actually understood fully what was happening. It also cemented my love of birds as I got to properly see one up close, it was a female blackbird, such a pretty litte thing
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#22
Quote by Bladez22
I found a dying bird in my garden when I was young, it had been mauled really badly by a cat, possibly by my own cat. I picked it up (with gardening gloves on) and put it in the shade of a tree, and sat with it while it died

I thought about killing it myself to put it out of its misery, but I didn't know how. Dropping a brick on it seemed cruel and I couldn't bring myself to wring it's neck, so instead I decided to try my best to comfort it so it wouldn't die alone at least. When it stopped breathing I covered it with the brick/slab of concrete I was debating dropping on it

This is the first time I've told this story which makes it a secret I guess. it was my first real experience with death, where I actually understood fully what was happening. It also cemented my love of birds as I got to properly see one up close, it was a female blackbird, such a pretty litte thing


I had a similar experience with a baby bird that was dying on the sidewalk in front of my house. After thinking about it a long time I took a 2x4 and smashed its head to give it a quick death. I know the bird didn't feel anything, but it was one of the most awful boners I've ever had.


WHO'S THE FILTHY PIECE OF TRASH
Check out my band Disturbed
Last edited by StewieSwan at Jul 7, 2017,
#23
That song Malibu by Miley Cyrus is good.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#24
what we do is secret (secret!)

except i'm so doped up on stage i can't sing and i cut my chest open.

not so secret.

hmu, the 3-4 people who even know what i'm talking about 😗
mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#26
Quote by theguitarist
Behind my standard blank stoic look, I'm the thirstiest guy ever and think about banging pretty much everyone I meet.

This, though I doubt it's a secret.

Though would I have been invited to my friend's wedding if she knew porking her crossed my mind every time we met?

I have no idea how transparent I am tbh.
#27
I'm not actually a wolf

I'm a sheep

I'm a sheep in wolf's clothing

You wanna know another secret

I'm not a sheep either I lied
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: A bunch of forced listening by my composition teacher... some great stuff by Bach, Haydn, Mozart, Schubert, Liszt...


GTA V! ... the 120th game of the franchise.
#28
Quote by slapsymcdougal
This, though I doubt it's a secret.

Though would I have been invited to my friend's wedding if she knew porking her crossed my mind every time we met?

I have no idea how transparent I am tbh.


should mention I do it with male friends who assume I'm straight too. pretty sure no one has any idea though.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#29
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#31
Quote by Ippon
I tend to be attracted to women who are smarter and/or above my station and/or healthier than me.  

This is normal, yea?


strength is hot, regardless of what kind of strength it is, in my opinion anyway

I'm not fussed if they aren't as strong on me in the way in question (kind want to them to be least equal though) as long as they are still stronger (smarter/healthier/confident/etc) than the average person.

Ideal girl I'd settle down with would be able to deadlift me and has a proper phd though. bonus points if they can squat or even bench me and is a "genius" in science or culture or art too.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#33
Quote by Bladez22
I found a dying bird in my garden when I was young, it had been mauled really badly by a cat, possibly by my own cat. I picked it up (with gardening gloves on) and put it in the shade of a tree, and sat with it while it died

I thought about killing it myself to put it out of its misery, but I didn't know how. Dropping a brick on it seemed cruel and I couldn't bring myself to wring it's neck, so instead I decided to try my best to comfort it so it wouldn't die alone at least. When it stopped breathing I covered it with the brick/slab of concrete I was debating dropping on it

This is the first time I've told this story which makes it a secret I guess. it was my first real experience with death, where I actually understood fully what was happening. It also cemented my love of birds as I got to properly see one up close, it was a female blackbird, such a pretty litte thing

When I was about 12 or so I threw a rock at a bird perched on a metal fence assuming the bird would fly away, and I wouldnt hit it because "who has that good enough aim to pelt a bird, right" wrong, I hit that bird with that rock and the bird fell from the fence unconscious and smacked against the floor instantly dying.

I felt horrible about it, still do. :/ Pretty sure I never told anyone that story.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#34
Quote by H4T3BR33D3R

teehee...that's my secret too.

I keep it secret.
And I keep it safe.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#35
I'm on acid right now but only slightly. My nuts are tingly. Send help.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#36
i'm pooping right now

Quote by Xiaoxi
I'm on acid right now but only slightly. My nuts are tingly. Send help.

Help.
Quote by Mr E Meat
this is your brain

this is your brain on RT

Quote by Standard_A440
Given that you reside in the shade of the natural light of reason, I will defer doing your homework to you.
#37
I'm bored.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#40
Quote by Nelshizzle
When I was about 12 or so I threw a rock at a bird perched on a metal fence assuming the bird would fly away, and I wouldnt hit it because "who has that good enough aim to pelt a bird, right" wrong, I hit that bird with that rock and the bird fell from the fence unconscious and smacked against the floor instantly dying.

I felt horrible about it, still do. :/ Pretty sure I never told anyone that story.

I found a dead bird once in elementary school. I wanted to give it a proper burial but i had to get on the bus. So i put it in my backpack. I even told the teacher about it but i dont think she believed me. I walked around all day with a dead bird in my backpack. Buried it when I got home.
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