#1
Haven't posted in years, here's an epic tale about two koala bears, i just finished
it's mainly a blues rock shuffle all performed on acoustic guitar, with a surf rock part, some nice folk guitar parts, a johnny cash section and an acoustic metalcore section. The ----------- lines mark where the genre changes


There were two koalas sitting in a eucalyptus tree
And one looked at the other and said “Ay Sheila I think we need to leave”
So they dropped down to the ground and started crawling the opposite from east

Well they crawled on through the desert, underneath the ozzie sun
And they shuffled through the forests, Two Koalas on the run
They got down to the ocean, and went “aww bloody hell, I guess our journeys done”
(Cuz koalas are terrible swimmers)

Got the Drop bear boogie x 4
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But then a great white shark swam into view
He looked at the koalas and said “oi you”
“Get on my fins and we can make our merry way”
“Sailing across the ocean on the undisputed king of the waves”

But the koalas said “we won’t fall for that”
“Look at all those teeth it must be a bloody trap”
“But, well we feel weird, so we’re gunna take a chance”
And koalas climbed onto that toothy bastards back.
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And they were shark surfing, Koalas Shark surfing x4
And they surfed for fucking weeks, and were bored as shit by the time they reached a beach.
By the time they reached a beach….they hadn't eaten a thing in weeks
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“what the hell are we doing” The first koala kindly spoke
“I haven’t eaten anything for weeks, is this life but a joke?”
Then outside in the cold distance, there came a clip clopping sound
A unicorn was approaching, and the wind began to howl
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And the unicorn said
“Get on my back I’ll give you a lift, the hour is getting late”
“And I’ll sing you my unicorn song, for the entire way”
And the unicorn sang, the unicorn sang and it sounded like
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Lalala (Terrible metal core screeching and awful dischords)
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And the unicorn couldn’t sing for shit, but it sang nonstop for 6 fucking weeks
And the koala bears both went insane; some bastard had poured glue on the seat.
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And then finally they came to a man who was drunk as fucking shit
He was 500 hundred years old and behind him stood a big fat bastard ship
And Noah said to the koalas “well, what the hell are these?”
And out came his lovely daughters to unglue them from the seats
And the daughters kissed old Noah, and he gave their tits a squeeze
You can find that smut in genesis chapter 9 verse 23

So the koalas climbed on board and they were pissed as fucking hell
2 angry fuzzy ozzie bastards with a unicorn to kill
And they shoved her in the ocean and killed the dinosaurs as well
And they cursed their little finger prints, they were sure to go to jail
But’s a different story, a completely different tale
About the English occupation of Australia, oh well

And after about a month they ended up on a mountain top
With 2 pissed off polar bears, wombats and grumpy three toes sloths
And the koalas asked around and found out about this dickhead god
So they looked up to the sky and they shook their little paws
And god came down and the koalas shat their little drawers
Got the drop bear boogie, this is the drop bear boogie.
And this is where the 2 koalas talk to god
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And god said to the koalas “you better get off home”
see you’ve got the entire koala race to remake all alone
But you killed my unicorn and my dinosaurs too
So as eternal punishment your kids will eat your pooh
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Your kids will eat your pooh
Every baby koala eats dad’s fecal pap; every baby koala eats its mothers crap X 2
Cuz koalas once did murder on old Noah’s ark
And Noah loves his incest, and god likes to watch
And god likes to watch.
Last edited by Stonesatreyu at Jul 14, 2017,
#2
This is a very amusing tale---like Dr. Seuss got really wasted. 
Guitar/Bass:
Schecter: Damien 6/Stilletto Extreme 5, Squier: Bullet HSS*, Washburn RX10*/WG-587, Agile Septor 727
*mods

Amps/FX
Peavey: Vypyr 30/Max 112 (200W), ISP: Decimator

Quote by dannyalcatraz
Understood- I waste money on amps*, too.

justinguitar.com is the answer