#1
decided to share something. i'm glad a lot of you are still writing. i see pieces by vague. ngd. synth. rooster. angel. vintage. i still think jammy was overrated and every time he beat me out for WOTW i rolled my eyes. svetlova's artwork on her tumblr is worthy of hanging on my wall. i still miss dylan's work uncontrollably. i still read all the work i've saved by hippieboy, ngd, synth, dylan, subway. i'm glad this is still a place where people can read, share, and feel. 


cuffed jeans and stuffed animals
pinto beans in a burrito 
in a rough part of town
info withheld over your favorite sounds
a doberman crouching behind a fence
poker face at the stench of death
drive by images and i have nothing left
a loneliness in my gut
that hungry void rumbles
your adolescent voice
absent giggles and sighs
i am shot of lovely noise
a tacit wiggle of the fingers
code for come hither
load the pickup bed
morning situps and morning head
my blanket is unwashed and oversized
in the loneliness the dark seems occupied
by something vacant and covert and alive
my pillow talk is not like yours
face buried and screaming
tears streaming while my tongue pleads
for a gentle touch
how these razors should be fingers
how these bruises should be blush
how my hands slip jagged into yours
never flush
i'm largely sober now
clarity bears down on me
i often wish i were drunk
or for simple charity
no more pious stares or running scared
merely some semblance of a companion
pinto beans in a burrito
cuffed jeans and stuffed bellies
from a modest shared lunch
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn


#2
Man, I missed your writing.

Love the flow of this and the internal rhymes are great. The only part that seems to lose steam is on these four lines:

"i'm largely sober now
clarity bears down on me
i often wish i were drunk
or for simple charity"

The last line is really jarring and the rhyme comes off a bit weak because of it.

Everything else is top notch and evidence that you deserve to be missed.
#3
thank you angel. i debated it being 'i often wish that i were drunk' but i've been fighting conventional meter for years. it's smoother when i say it aloud. but i'm also odd, so.

<3
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn


#4
yh agreed that overall flow is solid, though i'd take a look at "occupied" , ends a bit too soon i think. love:

"load the pickup bed
morning situps and morning head"

captures the whole feel of the piece, just drifting, not quite rambling, and gentle-playful. may have more to say in the near future, but found this piece rli nostalgic, the intimacy and honesty i remember this place for.
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