Night_Lights
I've been here too long
Join date: Jan 2005
863 IQ
#1
now the piano is NOT my doing, it is from Evians powertab 'Amy's song' which can be viewed here


anyway, i told her id write a solo over her piano interlude because i loved it, and well here it is. tell me what you think.


the solo is here
near the bottom of the page.
Youtube covers

[url="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJumboHumbo[/URL"]
hthedinga
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2005
1,536 IQ
#2
First of all, I don't think you need to post a new thread for this. Putting that aside:

The first note of the fourth measure if off. It shouldn't break into something so fast like it did in the 5th measure. Very unfitting. Some of it also seems to be dissonant. You could do more with it rhythmically, rather than using a lot of straight rhythms. Don't just put in a harmony at the end if you only had single notes before. The 3rd and 4th notes of the solo could be dotted quarter to an eighth rather than two quarters. The flow is pretty lousy all around.

As for the good stuff...

The first part wasn't all that bad, with the exception of some notes and rhythms. The "3rd section" wasn't too shabby either. It just needs more rhythm and not so many notes.

If you'd like to see examples of what I'm talking about or just see another solo, check out the link in my signature.
Night_Lights
I've been here too long
Join date: Jan 2005
863 IQ
#3
ahh well.... at least i tried


i suppose ill take more than 15 minutes to write the next one


btw the dissonance is intentional.
Youtube covers

[url="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJumboHumbo[/URL"]
hthedinga
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2005
1,536 IQ
#4
The best thing to do it to get ideas out there and then come back to them several times. Then you get a better final product. As for the dissonance, people always say it's intentional when someone comment on it. Intentional or not, this dissonance didn't sound good. That's why I mentioned it.
Night_Lights
I've been here too long
Join date: Jan 2005
863 IQ
#5
yeah fair enough, its always good to hear from someone better than me


what parts specifically were dissonant? whats this about the 'harmony at the end'? i didnt do any harmony i think.... yes i will change the fast bit and then maybe change the rhythms a bit to make it less generic....
Youtube covers

[url="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJumboHumbo[/URL"]
hthedinga
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2005
1,536 IQ
#7
Dissonant parts:
3rd measure, 1st note
4th measure, 1st note

Dissonance isn't necessarily bad, but holding out a dissonance on the first note of the beat isn't a good idea.

As far as rhythm goes, try using some syncopation. Also, don't just fix the really fast section, fix the measure with all 16th notes.

The harmony I'm talking about is at the end. The last held out notes of the solo. They're really unfitting.
Night_Lights
I've been here too long
Join date: Jan 2005
863 IQ
#8
alright cheers ill work on that
Youtube covers

[url="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJumboHumbo[/URL"]
i3lackmagik
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2002
12 IQ
#10
Use half bends rather than whole bends to make those two notes right. That's the only reason they're dissonant. As for everything else, when you are writing it a solo it will aid you greatly to keep in mind what chords you are writing over, and try to accentuate the notes that are in those chords in your leads. For example playing over C, try to 'land on' C E or G on either the on beats or on any long tones. This isn't necessary, but it's good to try and understand.

~i3~