shoebox81
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2005
101 IQ
#1
Hey... Perpetual Bliss is my first attempt at a song... well... at least my first attempt at writing one down... and is also my first attempt with power tab. So, give me your opinion on it, things you liked, things you didn't, and so on.

It's a little repetitive, but i'll probably end up changing it completely in the next few days, but tell me what you think of what ive got so far.
Attachments:
Perpetual Bliss.zip
Hey look! Its Lisa! and shes in the sky!...... no diamonds though
hthedinga
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2005
1,536 IQ
#2
Throw some contrast in there. Play around with volumes. Add some memorable rhythms/melodies. That part where the bass and guitar are doing 16ths to a long note is rad. I liked some of the chord progressions and transitions from part to part. Two main things: volume and contrast. When I read that this was your first attempt, I thought it'd be crap, but it was actually good. Oh yeah, it's very repetative, but you know that. Nice work.
les_paul_01
UG Freak
Join date: Dec 2004
500 IQ
#3
that was really good. though like hthedinga said, put some contrast in it. though considering its your first time, it is pretty damn good (better than my 1st at any rate).
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slash_620
Drivin' at night
Join date: Jun 2004
579 IQ
#4
can't really add more than thoose to^.great stuff for a first attempt
Need.New.Sig.
dream{M}theater
Prog-rock fan
Join date: Jan 2006
377 IQ
#5
Wow, that was great. if you're planning to turn this into a song with vocals, this would make an awesome song
psychodelia
Defensive Specialist
Join date: Feb 2004
2,298 IQ
#6
Unless there are lyrics, as you mentioned it is repetitive. That can be solved easily by omitting many of the repeat signs - a lot of your themes would be effective as four bar phrases, instead of repeating them for another four bars.

Your rhythm guitars have the same rhythm through the whole thing, which I think is what leads to the lack of contrast. Changing this will very easily give different parts of the song more interest. Having the rhythm guitar play sparesly or hold a chord in certain spots would give a calmer or more atmospheric sense to part of the music (I would personally recommend measures 25-28). Also, having the rhythm guitar play 16th notes might give more excitement to another part.

Now that I'm done critiqueing, it was a well-done song, overall nice chord changes keep at it .
(Slightly outdated) Electronic and classical compositions by m'self: Check 'em out