UG Senior Member
Join date: May 2005
505 IQ
Ok, a little while ago my friend and I started a band. It consisted of Me on guitar, him(his name is Pat) on guitar, this kid named Frank on drums, and some other kid named Denis on bass. We have another friend Joe who plays guitar, but a third guitar wasn't needed. So, we played some songs, we weren't to good, and then Joe got a bass from his uncle who used to play but got frostbite on his hands so couldn't any more. Since we liked Joe more and he was a little better than Denis, we replaced Denis with Joe. Denis said he understood(which was good). We continued to jam, but Frank(drummer) decided we weren't "metal enough". Well, we don't have any interest in metal, and since he does, he quit. What a bitch. So, then we were drummerless, but within two days I found a new one named Matt. That has been our lineup since then and it hasn't changed. We haven't played gigs, nor are we ready to do anything like that. Now heres the problem: We want to become more serious with the band and make better music. We(Pat and I) have realised have more productive(and better sounding) sessions when Joe isn't present. We have also decided there is no need for two guitars. We would like to change to one guitar, one bass, and drums. We have vocals covered, Pat and I will sing, so we aren't worrying about that. Matt has a bass he is willing to let Pat use and eventually sell to him. But now we need something to do with Joe--The thing thats wrong with Joe is he is one of our best friends, and I know that if we were to talk it over with him that he isn't needed, he wouldn't understand the problem at all and he would be totally pissed off. I really don't want to ruin our friendship, and that makes it even worse. I don't want to do anything stupid that would hurt his feelings like having everyone quit the band and then reform without him, and I don't want to be an asshole about it.

So please, if you can, give me some suggestions to help.
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Join date: Jul 2005
370 IQ
Option 1: Let him stay but don't have as "productive" practices. Get him to play better and concentrate on the band or whatnot.
Option 2: Kick and have him think you're an asshole.
Option 3: Have practices behind his back but risk him finding out.

That's all I got
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All Hail To The Thief
Join date: May 2002
118 IQ
you have to decide how important the band is...

if this is something you all want to take seriously... you know you will stick together for at least 2/3 years and wont be split up a year down the line due to all coming to the final grade of college or whatever... if you feel you have the ability to be really good songwriters... (honesty with yourelf is the best policy, obviously you will improve with time, but make the best decision you can now)... and are the other bandmates sharing your vision of where you see the band in two years time?

if all of these things are positive... then you will probably have to realise that the band will benefit without joe being there... and if he doesnt see it as being anything more than personal then its his problem...

IF HOWEVER... the band is more of a hobby that you guys do simply out of a love of playing music together and maybe hoping you might get the odd gig here and there... then dont lose a friendship over something so trivial
Originally posted by guitarkid27
RobbieMac2002 gives good advice.
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2005
443 IQ
give it to him honestly
you will regret not doing it
he will, hopefully, understand

'tis life
i cant afford 2 get sick!
Join date: Feb 2006
302 IQ
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Yeah, well you guys suck.


If you really want to work the band out and you need to take him away, then yeah take him out. He may understand but like you said he probably wont, but if he cares about the friendship as much as you do, he'll cool down after a while. Be really nice about it. Make sure you do it in person, and make sure you explain why you're doing what you're doing.
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Last edited by .:iloveyou:. at Mar 31, 2006,
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Join date: Feb 2006
1,313 IQ
the three of you who prefer playing as the three could start trying your hardest to swing the band to the genre of music that the other guy hates most, then eventually he will leave from boredom or whatever and he'll just think of it as artisitc differences and then when he leaves the badn he'll probably loose interest so you could then go back to you original genre, while slowly letting the other guy know but not making it too obvious and only letting him figure out your genre is changing back to what it used to be gradually (though once he is gone i doubt that he will take much interest in the band).

probably a stupid suggestion, but it was the best that i could think of.