Page 1 of 7
#1
WARNING: following contains stuff about growing up, trying new things, and getting in to a terrible situation aided by some not-so-nice details. so if that doesnt sound like your cup ot tea, DONT READ ON!


okay, rather embarracing but here goes... (i figure telling random people from all around the world will increase my confidence with telling a doctor) (and yes i realise that the majority of you will laugh and mock me, so to you... shut up )

*deep breath*

....


*deep breath*


...so yeah. im a guy in my teens and ive seen so much porn and masturbated so much that i got bored and decided to try anal :ideaself-done stuff that is. not gay stuff) - stop laughing at the back . so yeah, i dont do it very often, not even once a month in fact. but anyhow, today i saw some animal photographs where they used anal beads (if you dont know what that is, its loadsa little balls on a piece of string...). and stupid me thought "hmm... meh, why not". i looked around for stuff and found some small sized balls - like smaller than a table tennis ball, but i didnt have any string or anything. so stupid me (again) figured that they couldnt possibly get stuck because the anus is like, reeeeeally good with getting rid of stuff. i mean, its done it for over 17 years. but yeah, i was rong... and now i have one ball stuck in my bum

um, right, so tomorow i think im gonna head straight off to the doctors to explain and hopefully theyll be kind enough to remove it for me

and for the record, it really isnt as stimulating as porn stars make it out to be. not once was i aroused, which makes it worse because it was all for nothing ah well... at least ill never try that one again!


point of this thread:
-for me to prepare myself for the doctor tomorow
-for you to advise me with any other options you may think will benefit
-for you to share your most embarracing experience (i know this is mine )
Last edited by neoli at May 3, 2006,
#2
...





...


SUPER BOWL XLVIII
D E N V E R B R O N C O S vs. S E A T T L E S E A H A W K S
#4
...
Quote by zachbino57
CSguitarvocal is correct as usual, pepsi tastes much better out of a can.


Quote by TWISTEDFender
And CSguitarvocal for teh win.
#6


that sucks
And if ever You come near, I will hold up high a mirror.
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You.
#7
hmm.. just go to the doctor. i would wait maybe a day or two. but if it's urgent and it's causing you pain then you should go immediately

oh and btw
The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops moving when the music does.

Last.fm
#8
Uhm..*awkward*..the animal stuff is just plain gross, but..if you really like anal get a dildo or something. And just tell the doctor your girlfriend likes to shove balls up your anus. Sorry?
Another kind of green....
#9
He he he. you could just tell the doctor not to ask questions and take it out! taht would work. He he, wait... How are you sitting down oh and also
I am Father Jimmyius Crowley, Arch Bishop and cruasder of Zepplinism. PM Heartbreaker to join me and my brethren in our religion.
So I went renegade... What you gonna do about huh? IM FREAKIN EVIL GEZUS !!!!
:stickpoke:
#10
wow, the person who sig'd me for saying something related to this needs to get in here right now...
#11
Well i know he's just trying to be funny or have a laugh with his friends but....

Do you guys ever wonder how many of these queers actually try this?
Beauty Supreme

Yeah you were right about me
#14
well, for one, dont ever try anal! it is not for you to stick shite up there, it is for it to come out. but now, you did it, you were curious, watev...

hopefully, your parents and the doctor will understand.

Did it not EVER ocuur to you that your arsehole colses on itself and therefore, traps stuff in(the whole point of anal with women)(and otherwise it would be a neverending river of shite)?

Dude, just dont do it again. good luck with the operation.
I'm back. No-one knew I left anyway. Do you even know who I am?
#15
Just wait till you have to take a crap. Should come out along with everything else.

... Man, weirdest advice i've given, EVER.
My God, it's full of stars!
#16


Seriously. What's wrong?

...

Oh, you are serious.



Hope he crams that stupid thing farther up there, ya damn wank.
Music is a weapon. Use it wisely.


"So retire the ships, the final voyage was his ..."


Quote by kaktusnpoop (on Norma Jean)
I think they use Botch guitars tuned to drop Botch.
Last edited by grungefan89 at May 3, 2006,
#17
Quote by Green_Fox
hmm.. just go to the doctor. i would wait maybe a day or two. but if it's urgent and it's causing you pain then you should go immediately

oh and btw

im preparing myself. even if this gets locked ive still just unleashed my secret to the world. and i feel more confident and mature for it
#18
I'm doubting that this is all true, but if it were...
SUPER BOWL XLVIII
D E N V E R B R O N C O S vs. S E A T T L E S E A H A W K S
#22
Quote by Dreadnought
Just wait till you have to take a crap. Should come out along with everything else.

... Man, weirdest advice i've given, EVER.


It's not every day that I see a mod telling someone how to get something out of their anus...
#24
just try and poop it out
Quote by Jaimz
Shes a virgin!?! Oh, now you've done it havn't you. Virigns are 132% more likely to get pregnant than a non virgin or a black woman. Fact.


#26
Quote by thewho65
What if I want my c*ck to smell like an egg roll?



GENERATION 9: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
#27
Ryan Dunn on Jackass The Movie shoved a toy car up his ass. He eventually ****ted it out. Try that. If it doesnt work and all the **** just gets stuck, seriously go to the doctor. You should've never tried that in the first place and HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMFAO
#29
Quote by AznInvazn666
Ryan Dunn on Jackass The Movie shoved a toy car up his ass. He eventually ****ted it out. Try that. If it doesnt work and all the **** just gets stuck, seriously go to the doctor. You should've never tried that in the first place and HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMFAO

YES. and he sticks a toy car up there.... darn, i cant remember how he got it out exactly. but i know it involved going to a doctor
#30
*laughs for several minutes, shits pants, passes out*


On a serious note.......needle nose pliers perhaps..?
Quote by charvel_man

I am buying you an e-beer HomerHitter *Buys*
#31
Crapping it out aint gonna work. It doesnt work like that.

Go to a doc. It shouldnt be much of a problem, except for the awkwardness.
Quote by SwabbyThePirate
... jesus. i've seen the light. fake plastictrees, you are a godess among men.

(edited for awesomeness)

Quote by fallenangel20

Thou shall have own opinons on music, and if one disagrees, shall keep his penis trap shut.
#33
Well, he can't read what you guys are posting anymore, so.... lol
My God, it's full of stars!
#34
Wow. Yesterday I realized that i was spending too much time on UG so I decided to stop coming here. Today I was bored so I said **** that and decided to log on. I think this is a sign from God that I should have stuck with yesterday's desicion.

My closing statement:



Fare thee well UG...
Originally Posted by guitar_freak333
I dont like death metal, I just see it as a bunch of hairy men playing the same riff over and over again exetremely fast.
#39
Quote by Dreadnought
Well, he can't read what you guys are posting anymore, so.... lol

He (I) can still read it. I just have to log out, dumb dumb. Thanks for teh advice guys.
#40
hmmm

well

you could swallow a ping pong/table tennis paddle, and when it gets down south, maybe it'll whack it out, although then your anus would be ahead 2-0.
Quote by JimmyPageSlash
nice i like how rocker clothes are cheap. im gonna be dressing completely rocker soon


TOOL ALERT