#1
Falling in love again

I can't resist my heart
It's beatin' loud
After all you've said goodbye
And I'm still alive
Oh come and get me
I guess you cannot break me, yeah!

I'm gonna' fall in love
Don't you take me
Gonna' fall in love
With your smile you've saved me
From this endless lonely dark
I'm gonna fall in love again

No I can't control my mind *gonna fall in love*
With all the words you told me
Staring at you and I???

I'm gonna' fall in love
Don't you take me
Gonna' fall in love
With your smile you've saved me
From this endless lonely dark
I'm gonna fall in love again


I guess it needs work...and I'm going to make it longer but post your crit would you?
#2
What kind of music would this be to? It's almost a little dry. Nothing really meaty here. It's cute though, and I'm sure the person you wrote it for will appreciate it

Gav
#3
thanks!
I think another verse might do it better
I know it's a bit dry but it's just what I felt when I wrote it
it's going to be a rock song. something like fall out boy or my chemical romance
Last edited by LauriShadow at May 4, 2006,
#4
It deffo sounds like it should be a beatles song. Or the monkeys. Or the beach boys.
I thought it was nice, good and happy and that. Nice one! I liked " I can't resist my heart
It's beatin' loud
After all you've said goodbye
And I'm still alive"

Nice one man.
Crit mine, Showbiz? xxxxxx
Quote by calvinthecanadi
I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.
#6
Hmmm... Some creative concepts hear. Love songs can never been over done . But ok heres what I think: For the first verse here its pretty good. Just for the last two lines please take out the double rhyming of "me" and don't add a "yeah" it just makes it more akward. As for the chorus it is fairly well written and is catchy enough to be a chorus. "With your smile you've saved me". Great, great line here I love it. It is without a doubt, the best line within the whole song. I love it, end of story. A little weak at the last bridge/verse thingy here, I think you should make it longer. To make this peice better you sohuld defintely add some imager, metaphors and make it a bit longer. None the less, it was good. I liked it and overall I'll give you a 7.5/10. If you have a chance to crit mine its called "Soulfly" and the link is in my sig. Thanks.
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.
#7
thanks again, as I already said I will make it longer.

sure I will...but you'll have to wait a bit *I need to go to school first hehe*