#1
"Missing You" is an dedicated song I wrote for my girlfriend when her father died. It was written December 2005 if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, now I've decided to give it another go, this time with my band. So, please read it through and tell me what you think. If you want to listen to the original song, http://eigen.dmusic.com/#279765">click here. I think it's too repetive in someplaces.


It's never been so dark
but a light is shining trough
I must go
until I reach the end
It's so dark (so dark..)
It's so cold (so cold..)
I wish you were here
so we could talk once more, once more.
if I see you once again
I would say I love you
always
always I will be
missing you
missing you
I'm so alone in the dark ...

I wish you were here
so we could talk again
once more
once more once more
I'm asking for one more day

to say that I miss you ...


missing you
missing you
I miss you
missing you
missing you
I miss you

I'm not giving up
because you're safe
up there
looking down
on me

I wish I could tell you
goodbye 4x
and we're all

missing you
missing you
I miss you
missing you
missing you
I miss you

missing you
missing you
I miss you
missing you
missing you
I miss you

so much...


-Eigen
#2
Good: Yes, Repetitive: Yes. Though it was very repetitive it was effective also. It was an interesting concept that oyu managed to grasp and this song reminded me of some early Blink 182 in a twisted sort of way . First verse is good but not great, it seems a bit unimaginative, mainly because I hear things like these in many songs. Still, its effective. The rest of the song is basically repeating "miss you" in one way or another and this is what I do not like. I think you should add another verse, maybe a bridge or two and take out a bunch of these "miss you's". Overall I thought about a 7.5/10. If you have time to crit mine it would be appreciated, its called "Soulfly" and the link is in my sig. Thanks.
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.
#3
i think it has simpLe lyrics... but you found a way to make it catchy and not so pLain... :p i guess it would be nicer if someone listened to a recording of this song thn 2 read the lyrics... but nice job.. :p i'm new at this songwriting.. so don't mind me much.. haha.. but i'd appreciate your crit too... :p the song's "aLL about you" :p
#4
I think it's very nice and simple to understand and gets it's across. This is the type of lyrics that will sound good with music. I would change " missing you , I miss you." to just "Missing you all the time" or something like that. That's just me, Overall I loved it. Keep on rocking dude.