#1
This is my first song so please take that into mind. I am looking for lots of crit but dont be an ****face. I didnt try on this its just my feeling written down in a really bad form of a song.

Here it is:

this is a song about a girl
A girl ive had every feeling for.
I've hated her.
I've wanted her
Ive missed her
Ive been sad, angry, and embarrased because of this girl.
But ive never, ever!
Stoped liking her.
There has never been a time,
that i havent wanted her to be happy.
But there have been times.
Oh so hard times.
When ive wondered why.
Why i kept liking her.
Even when she left my life.
When we didnt talk.
When we didnt see.
Or feel.
What the other one felt.
She wouldnt tell me what i did...
I couldnt even guess.
All i could do was bare with the pain.
And hope for the best.
I dont know what im doing
anymore
I just following the path im given
When trouble comes my way.
I dont think.
All i do is swing.
Swing away
and hope for the best.....

give me all the crit u can....again dont be immature and tell me i suck..i already pointed out that i knew that lol....
#2
Read the FAQ because your thread title is in violation of the rules, and then you might want to read the Lyrics Tips thread. This is just a common piece that everyone writes. It's too straighforward to be affecting for me. Sure, many people can relate, but that doesn't make it a good piece of writing.

Check out my latest piece called "Between Angels and Demons" if you would return the favor.



Thanks,
!troy!
#3
Yeah sorry about thant and thank you. I just finished checking out the faq.
Quote by RockerPseudonym

Under Influence: A weird look
Minor Posession(A gram or two): Confiscation
Possession w/ intent to distribute(Lots, all bagged out): Jail.
The look on your face when the dealer tells you it's laced with crack: Priceless