#1
This song was inspired by my brothers my and sisters and how they act when my mom leaves the house and im left in charge.

The Song Is Not Finished

Crit PLZ

Happy House

When you were here
Everything was calm inside my mind
But when you said
I'll be home sometime
I started to frown
As my world turned upside down

A storm formed overhead
As this happy house
Filled with dread
Ever since you've been gone
I've been wishin you'd come home

(Pre chorus)
Kids screamin'! (AHHHHHH!)
Kids Laughin'! (HAHAAA!)
Im goin' senseless!

(Chorus)
As soon as you left through that door
This house hit the fifth floor
While your out on the open road
This .45 is starting to load
So if you ever come to town
Come visit my happy house

(To be continued...)

this is a metal song
#2
A metal song? Called Happy House? Yeah...great. Lyrics aren't too bad despite the name.
Quote by bjoern_swe
my mom found me sitting in the kitchen, eating Corn Flakes from the floor. when she asked me what I was doing, I just roared at her and ran up to my room.


George Foreman Grill Appreciation Society
#3
yeah dont you see the irony, and that dont matter any way mudvayne has a song called "Happy"^^
#4
i was expecting somthing retarded. lol but it was pretty good, the lyrics seem kind of childish at first, but they flow well.
so all together it was about 8.5/10 imo
#5
When you were here
Everything was calm inside my mind
But when you said
I'll be home sometime
I started to frown
As my world turned upside down


THis bit, the second line seems to stick out a bit too far, i reckon it needs to be slightly shorter...either make it 'in my mind', or maybe just 'everything was calm inside'

Other than that, I like it, nicely ironic, and it has that dark undertone which I like about it!

8/10!
#6
the verses seem to be cut short... they always need the next verse to complete what you try to say... anyway... good work all in all