#1
okay-the flow may be off, but I was writing this to a tune that I have in my head, so just let me know what you think of the lyrics. Thanks!

So Here Goes

You know I'd break my back
Just for you, just for you to understand
Where I'm coming from and where I'm at.
I know this must be strange
To listen to all these things that led to this
I can't remember why we're here
But please don't write me off
I know I have a lot to account for
But hear me out and we'll be fine

But you told me to tell the truth,
So here goes.

(chorus)
I know you can't explain
Why it is we're here in this time bomb
I know this could blow up at any time
But please do not complain
And please listen when I tell you to be calm
I hope that we can leave this all behind.

It's hard to understand
I know I promised you I wouldn't change
But I'm not sure I know myself
I feel your pain
I'm aware that this must be harder for you
To see the lines I've crossed
New emotions
Never experienced before this time
I don't think anyone's to blame

But you told me to tell the truth
So here goes.

(chorus)
The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely you'll time will come
As in heaven, as in hell


May The Road Rise With You...
#2
hi there the_waiting, just went through your song. i don't really like the 5th line of the first verse very much, "these" and "this" so close together sound a bit weird imo (might be just be, though). i'm not too sure bout the last two lines of the chorus either, but this i'd have to hear to get the feel of it, so no prob
overall, this piece is quite ok, but i bet u can improve it if u work on it keep it up.
ana.
so who do i have to kill to get a crit? --> Memory


(e-cookie for whoever spots the alliteration, ha)


y cuando llegue el momento, sólo el viento se llevará lo que siento; y cuando acabe mi suerte, sólo en la muerte estaré fuerte y despierto...
#3
But you told me to tell the truth
So here goes.


i can imagine this bit in a song, tis quite original and i like it! The song wasnt the most mind-blowing kick-ass song in the planet, but it was deffinetly very very very very good!!!!
Nice one.
xx
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I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.
#4
thanks! I haven't been writing for that long, so it's nice to hear you like it!
The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely you'll time will come
As in heaven, as in hell


May The Road Rise With You...