crit for crit

id leave me too
if i did what i did
to you
to myself

id run away
just as far as i could get
from me too

so in a way i really
cant blame you
cuz id do the same
id do the same thing
to me too

but im not you
and your not me
so i really must protest
all of this

if i said i was sorry
would that fix all of this
and if you accepted the appology
would i get a makeup kiss

id leave me too
if i did what i did
to you
to myself

crit for crit
it's alright but it seems short and only one main idea wich wasnt explained
ya, its not finished yet, but, i was posting it to get some advice on how to devolope it, im not a very good writer
pretty good. the lines are a little off but maybe its just the way i say it, i dunno. good stuff though i like the chorus i thought that was realy clever. keep it up and maybe put soem music to this song and post it here.

mind crting mine? its in my sig
Whatever it is you do, DO NOT CLICK HERE! ! it will bring the end of the world upon us all!!!! I swear you click it, and you will end o.O
ummm.. if you ask me... i think it's short and the idea keeps going around and around... simpLe song but i liked the idea... if you fix it up a little bit... i think it wiLL be ok for presentation... i'd suggest to add more words and to add more ideas into the song... anywayz... that's aLL... i'll be waiting for your revision! :p comment mine too if you can... my latest.. "vandalized heart"... still a newbie... but making my way up.. (i hope..) haha