#1
This is just the verse and it's a work in progress but check it out.
Okay.. second verson.. I'll agree the first wasn't that good so I need some more crit people.


Here I am and I'm still here rain snow summers here again
Why do things have to change it were up to me they?d stay the same
after all this time I don't know I guess I don't have much to show
for my efforts that have come and gone you?re the one I?ll swear I was never wrong
I'm a tool.
Last edited by Happy Clown at May 7, 2006,
#2
I think it's pretty good, but I don't understand what it means
Quote by Stiffy Maximus
pink penial discharge
country


Quote by 6WS
that is going to be the biggest p*ssy magnet since the keyboard neck tie.
#3
This reminds me of something Mike Shinoda would attempt to rap with on a Fort Minor or Linkin Park song. Sorry, it's sort of irritating to tell you the truth. The last line doesn't flow with the first three, and all of it just seems sort of jumbled. The subject is about as original as a goth kid wearing fishnet, and the repitition of the "o" rhyme made it lame. In synopsis: if you must write about this, discuss your feelings about the matter rather than asking the same question over and over again.