#1
-Derelict Duvet
Stock soars
New cure found
President meets with ambassador
Two dead in robbery
Oil prices rise
Again

From the top of my head
To the tip of my toes
From 5th avenue
To my cardboard mattress
I?m alive
Still

These bedtime stories that line my sheets
Were thrown away, and
Yesterday?s news is forgotten
Again

And tomorrow a new blanket waits in a trash can
To cover my head from the rain
While I lie in this alley
Still,
Waiting for more bedtime stories
Quote by esther_mouse
...bingo. signaturisation. like burnination, only even more flamey.


Worth listening to
#2
Hmm. I found it almost a little too choppy. I don't know if you've developed this into a song already, but as it is, it seems a little harsh. That third part though, the first line was pretty cool.

I didn't like the ending at all. Not just because it as abrupt, but that line kind of sucks as a closer.

Like I said, I found it too choppy. No real flow to it. Maybe draw out your ideas a little better.

Keep writing

Gav