#1
Line of hate

intro
Every one of us
has this feeling inside
a shade hiding,
hunting the heart

verse I
It starts from words
that seem harmless
but stab like a blade
this is only the first step
but we can't guess how it ends

chorus
This is the line of hate
seeds of fear and anger, it's sane
stepping slowly through our veins
blind ghost looking in glare
yes, this is the line of hate

verse II
The next phase is the thoughts
as they come to our mind we start to blame
just to shake the break
we all know how it starts but still don't see how it ends

chorus
This is the line of hate
seeds of fear and anger, it's sane
stepping slowly through our veins
blind ghost looking in glare
yes, this is the line of hate

Outro
This wraith is everywhere
we all see how it starts
and after all...you know how it ends

please crit the song it would be appreciated- thanks
#2
so what is this song it seems to me like it should be metal, it seems very dark.
i like this line
"this is only the first step
but we can't guess how it ends"
but im not sure if it would fit if your singing it
#3
please crit mine "what sting" i think it needs something but im not sure
#4
I still don't sure if it'll be metal or some melodical rock or something
sure I will crit your song
#5
"just to shake the break" - Probably my favourite line in this particular piece, even though I don't fully understand what you're trying to say . There are some spelling errors and it doesn't seem like English is your first language (so sorry if it is), but if that's the case then you're doing pretty good. I like the imagery in the chorus, dark as it may be. Good job.
#6
thank you,
yeah English isn't my first languge
can you please tell me what sentence has spelling/grammar errors?