#1
This is a song I just wrote, meant as a critical look at people (like Bono) being committed to "savin' the world" without any diplomatic or political expertise. I wrote it as a punk or thrash song as these are my favourite genres and the theme fitted well there.

Everyone?s Adversary

I?m building a revolution,
Ingenious freedom campaign,
We will shed your delusion,
Us, the clinically insane!

I?m building a revolution
A new kind of freedom campaign
To forward our evolution
The million clinically insane
To create a racial fusion
To stop blondes talking hate and pain
And shed your sad, sad delusion
And these goals I state are the main

And you won?t like what I?m gonna say
I see you all, stepping out of my way
Don?t you worry these are just rhymes for the nursery
And me? I?m just everyone?s adversary

Listen to me, you naïve fool
Sure, commitment makes you look cool
True, I like to antagonize
Let me do so before your eyes
See, make poverty history,
Not simple, it?s a mystery
Causes go in, out of fashion
They cry ?Time for peaceful action!?

But your commercial kindness
Is political blindness
And if you think on it for a while
You?ll know that African kids can smile

And you won?t like what I?m gonna say
I see you all, stepping out of my way
Don?t you worry these are just rhymes for the nursery
And me? I?m just everyone?s adversary

And AIDS, a plague of infamy
And this issue we call famine
Won?t be gone through symphony
Nor through serious jamming

It?s quiet, it?s quiet
It?s quiet, it?s quiet, and it?s quiet
A riot, a riot
A riot, a riot,
A riot!


And you can ban me, you can brand me
Name me everyone?s adversary
You can ignore me, misunderstand me
Play Geldof in every nursery
There will still be a revolution
Here outside your cosy door
You can?t just halt this evolution
It evolves from riot to war


I?m building a revolution,
Ingenious freedom campaign,
We will shed your delusion,
Us, the clinically insane!
#2
And you can ban me, you can brand me
Name me everyone?s adversary
You can ignore me, misunderstand me
Play Geldof in every nursery


Best part of the song man. I really liked this, abit in-your-face at times, but i cant help seeing that as a good thing. Seriously, well done, nice one =p
xx
Quote by calvinthecanadi
I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.
#4
No problemo. Tis fantastic. I really like it.
Can u crit "oops wrong turning to heaven" pour moi?
Quote by calvinthecanadi
I'm now an official Franzaholic.


Meep is a word.
Use it.
#5
You say that you're going to start a revolution, but don't give HOW you will start one and for WHAT reasons. Without those elements, this is just another empty shell of a wannabe song to stir people up. Put those elements in, and you have a half-decent rant that hardly makes any sense.

check mine if you would return the favor:https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=356955

Thanks,
!troy!
#6
You say that you're going to start a revolution, but don't give HOW you will start one and for WHAT reasons. Without those elements, this is just another empty shell of a wannabe song to stir people up. QUOTE]

I did not perhaps think that explaining how i would start the revolution was neccessary. But please. Half the song is reasons. Thanks for the crit, though, i'll bear it mind when i write more.