#1
Hi, I don't have a name for this yet, any crits would be welcomed, the theme should be obvious.


Take orders from the orange glow
radiating from the promise land
Lights flash and millions adore
She, who stands in the river of blood
Basking the the collective warmth
of all her loyal sheep
It's too bad Hollywood is a heaven
only reached by a select few
Where your looks are Saint Peter
and Jesus is your manager.
#3
This is really cool, but I would just keep it as a poem or something. Unless you already have it in a song or something. I just think it flows really nicely as a poem. Good work!